To ask the school to put my daughter in a different class

[Ginnyrellas]

Ever since starting back in September my daughter (8) has come out of school in tears at least 3 times a week due to her teacher shouting at the other disruptive children in the class, so much so the teacher had actually lost her voice on occasion. Yesterday was yet another prime example. Her teacher let her come to me at the door and she emerged in a right state, because the teacher will be getting the deputy head in tomorrow to have a stern word with the children about their behaviour and my daughter has probably never been shouted at in her life at home. To say she is a very well behaved and well mannered little girl would be the best way to describe her and her teachers also have nothing but praise for her and stated " she sets an example for everyone else in the class" at her parents evening.

I have got to say also that previous to September she was in a different class to what she is in now. The school decided that half of one class and half of the other class would merge so the more disruptive children would have better peers and hopefully have a better chance at learning something, Due to this my daughter has now been separated from her friends that are now in the opposite class and clearly had a good influence on her as she never had this issue before the class switch.

Would I be reasonable to request that the school changes her class room. can I even do that?

I think you certainly need to talk to the school about the situation and what ideas they have as at the moment they are not meeting her needs

Having taught in primary school, I can confirm that it is possible for them to be completely out of control, and it not necessarily be the teacher's fault.

Some children just will not do what they are told. They refuse to stop talking, to listen, to sit properly, to do their reading, to put their pens away. Constant refusal the whole time, no matter what reward or punishment system is in place. There don't need to be many children like this in a class to wreck the learning environment for all the children, and those who would be well behaved in a different environment get sucked in.

Whereas with teenagers I think boundary testing is largely hormonal, with primary school children it's either because they never have to obey at home, or because punishments at home are so severe that losing a star or even being shouted at don't make any impact.

I feel very sorry for both your DD and the teacher, and would certainly think that she needs help and support from the SMT. She will not have gone into this job to be the shouty teacher and it probably makes her miserable. I used to cry on the way in to work and on the way back because nothing I tried ever made any difference and it was so unfair to the sweetie children who wanted to learn (and I got no support ever from the SMT).

(Please excuse dodgy grammar, I didn't proofread before posting).

@Tellmetruth4

I really think its a case of a minority of repeat offenders rather than the majority of the class room. Sadly I think that somewhere in all of this and the teacher having to pay more attention to those that are disruptive than those that are there and ready to learn are getting chastised as well and the teachers struggling to gain back control.

@Tellmetruth4

I really think its a case of a minority of repeat offenders rather than the majority of the class room. Sadly I think that somewhere in all of this and the teacher having to pay more attention to those that are disruptive than those that are there and ready to learn are getting chastised as well and the teachers struggling to gain back control.

@RadicalFern

I completely agree and I actually feel she is a very nice woman and we often exchange Hello's and general chat, I do think she needs extra support and I understand that its a really stressful job to have but when its your own child coming out clearly upset at whats been happening it suddenly feels ( even though its not ) somewhat personal.

I'm a teacher. Make an appointment with HT. There are ways of wording things that you aren't placing blame but explaining how it's not working for your child. Unless both classes are at capacity can't see why they couldn't move her without moving another child, for her emotional wellbeing. Whatever they put in place give a period of time and if it doesn't work go back to HT and keep doing that until your daughter isn't leaving school upset as that shouldn't be happening.

I would definitely speak to the Head about your concerns. Contrary to what a previous poster said, it is not at all uncommon to have quite a number of very badly-behaved kids in primary school, and it's often not an easy problem to solve.

People don't seem to understand how hard it is to do anything about kids who just don't respond to the school's behaviour sanctions. You go through the usual procedures/punishments/talk to parents/offer support. But if none of that works, then what?

When I was a similar age to your daughter, I was in a similar position.

Like her, I was a very well behaved, well mannered child who did exactly what I was told to.

There were a couple in my class who misbehaved and the teacher used to really shout at the whole class and it upset me alot. As a child, I actually found it quite frightening.

There was only one class so I couldn't move but my parents made an appointment with the head to discuss it and to let her know that it was causing me to feel very anxious about school.
The head must have spoken to the teacher and she stopped doing it.

If they can't switch her class, they need to do something else to manage the situation because your daughter should not be leaving school so distressed.

I agree that you should request a meeting with the head. No teacher should be shouting at a class until they lose their voice. She clearly needs some support with behaviour management.

I would request a meeting with the teacher, head, and counselor if your school has one. The current situation is negatively impacting your daughter. They need to put a plan in place to fix it.

I like Tommy Thompson but not Tom or Thomas Thompson.

Sorry wrong thread 🙈

Yes, definitely make an appointment with the Head, though I would reiterate previous comments with helping DD learn to cope with her feelings. She knows she's well behaved so while it's unpleasant to listen to shouting, just remind her it's not aimed at her personally so she has no reason to be upset etc.
The books are a great idea and will definitely help her as she moves through the tricky waters of school.
I do feel sorry for the teacher - they're overworked as it is and often, just expected to put up with it. I was a TA in a school and left because it made me so sad.
I saw a close friend have to put up with a very difficult class and she was just expected to cope. She was excellent at her job and had never struggled with her previous classes but at the end of the day, it's the parent/carer's job to teach respect and sadly, there were some really disrespectful and cruel children in the class who simply didn't care at all about their behaviour, or their peers, and ruined it for others.
I hope that's not the case with your DD's class and she gets to enjoy her time at school. Good luck

My daughter used to come out of school upset every afternoon. We gave her coping strategies.
We told her that as long as she was doing the right thing the teacher wasn't shouting at her and to just ignore when she started shouting.
When she started learning her times tables, year 4 when she was at school, we said every time the teacher started shouting to say her tables in her mind so she didn't have to listen to it. It helped a bit.

The school decided that half of one class and half of the other class would merge so the more disruptive children would have better peers and hopefully have a better chance at learning something

Why is it your child's job to improve the behaviour of other children?

This would make me furious.

If the teacher cannot do her job (and god knows some children are extremely challenging) then the teacher needs SLT's support.

Never mind whether or not their system is working. Your child is extremely distressed by how the teacher is not handling the situation. This must be addressed.

If SLT want to leave the teacher shooting at the class, then your dd needs to be moved away from that class because the teacher is frightening her.

I feel your DD's pain. I was that kid all through my school career who never got in trouble, was always quiet and always did all my work, yet I had more detentions than I can count due to teachers deciding that the class as a whole had been disruptive, so every pupil would get a detention.

I know it's petty but even as a young adult I still think those teachers were lazy/ didn't know how to do their job properly. It teaches that if your peers are behaving badly you need to take responsibility for them (which is a damaging thing to teach children, especially girls).

Ask, as PP have said it's unlikely anything will come of it but there's no harm in trying

The school decided that half of one class and half of the other class would merge so the more disruptive children would have better peers

They did this at DDs school.

The outcome was Bob, Alex, Dave and Simone were split up and moved.

There were then joined my Fred, John and Peter.

Instead of becoming nicer kids, they joined forces and made a bigger group for playtime kickoffs and classroom standoffs.

Doesn’t work, has never worked.

DD moved schools in year 5 for this very reason.

I would speak to the teacher and see what they suggest.

We’ve had a crap teacher this year. She doesn’t shout though. I’d put in a formal complaint tbh. A teacher should not be shouting on a regular basis. It’s not an acceptable standard at all.

At age 7 I was also (for a very short time because my DM was outraged when she found out and kicked off hugely with the school) paired with an extremely disruptive girl during lunch and told that since I was such a good pupil it was my responsibility to teach her how to behave. This was a girl who had bullied me for years and it made me extremely uncomfortable being forced to spend my breaks with her. It in a way felt like I was being punished for being a well behaved child.

Schools needs to take responsibility for teaching kids how to not be disruptive, not abdicate that responsibility onto children by mixing the disruptive kids with the hard-working ones, shouting at the entire class, etc.

I was a teacher too and I’d be surprised if the head is unaware of the situation in the classroom. I agree with speaking to the head in terms of how it’s impacting on your daughter. If someone has to come along and read the riot act, it might not help the situation long term, because it can be disempowering.

Sometimes though, there are classes that just don’t gel. The balance just isn’t there.

I’d speak to the head. It may be nothing to do with the teacher per se re the out of control kids and she has nothing left to try. Lol at someone suggesting 8 year olds can’t be that disruptive. They can be absolutely horrific.
However, they need to be sorting it if this is the case, getting more support in there, the head in there, other support systems and solutions etc. It’s not fair on the well behaved children.

I still remember my year 2 teacher shouting at the class (thinking it was aimed at me as well) and going home and crying all evening. This happened on more than one occasion and eventually my mum asked to see the teacher with me. The teacher tried to reassure me that she wasn't shouting at me but at some other children and that my behaviour was what she wanted the other children to emulate. This helped a little but I was still a child who was very sensitive to shouting. It might be worth meeting with the teacher and your DD to discuss this and for the teacher to reassure your daughter but if she can't or this continues I wouldn't hesitate to ask to change classes. I still remember the feeling of being shouted at 20 years later.

I would be bloody furious if this happened to my child and would be going straight to the head. No way should going into school have such an adverse affect on your daughter. It could scar her emotionally for life.
The school need to sort it out professionally not expect the good kids to have to put up with shouting and bad behaviour from others and their teacher day after day. Some kids are especially sensitive and they should not be forced into that position.