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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

settle a dispute for me please!

60 replies

Alltheshoes74 · 12/02/2020 09:35

So, a kitchen cupboard ( white shiny) gets damaged by accident, Husband/Wife doesn't report it to the other - its a scratch and can be fixed but would have to be filled an polished out. Question is, would you think necessary to tell your husband/partner
Yes - report
No - no need, its a door!

OP posts:
TheGirlWithAPrince · 12/02/2020 09:38

No, it may come up in conversation but my husband wouldn't give a shot if I told him or not as he would probably see it himself at some point, i would if the damage was serious

Wannabegreenfingers · 12/02/2020 09:39

No, its a door accidents happen.

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/02/2020 09:39

No, it's a door.

PennyGold · 12/02/2020 09:41

I wouldn't rush to tell them, but id probably bring it up in conversation like "oh this weekend we need to get such and such, because I damaged the cupboard".

Lipperfromchipper · 12/02/2020 09:42

I would mention In passing but I wouldn’t be apologizing like a sheepish child...Hmm

FeedMeChoc · 12/02/2020 09:42

No. But I would anyway just so they know it’s in hand.

fellyjish · 12/02/2020 09:51

Yes I'd mention it but not be worried about it...would mention it though as he'd be the one that would end up fixing it!

Bikerider2020 · 12/02/2020 09:53

Yeah I'd mention it, probably a bit like damn I damaged the cupboard, not because I felt the need to though.

19lottie82 · 12/02/2020 09:54

It depends....... if I was was away for a few days I wouldn’t necessarily feel my DH had to call me and tell me, what good would that do? It could wait until I got back.

Shoxfordian · 12/02/2020 09:54

I don't report my actions to my husband because he's not my boss

LifeSpectator · 12/02/2020 09:55

Is person who damaged it by accident the person who'd normally fix it,? or indeed is it so damaged you'd really bother fixing it, or just leave it with a small scratch, if it was me who had damaged it i'd expect my dh to fix it, so i'd have to tell him as hes absolutly blind in the kitchen , wouldn't notice it at all if it was hanging off by one hinge...now if i'd scrapped his hobby then i'd have to report myself to the police

Emmelina · 12/02/2020 10:09

I’d mention it, honestly. In a “ugh, I’m so annoyed. The grater slipped from my hands when I was drying up and it’s scuffed the door!”

GameSetMatch · 12/02/2020 10:18

I wouldn’t ‘report’ it to my husband but I’d mention it to him, because it’s not a big deal.

KittenVsBox · 12/02/2020 10:21

For a scuffed kitched cupboard (people polish damage to those out? No wonder my house always feels deshevelled compared to everyone else!) Report?? No.
Mention in passing, yes.

But when it was his car I dented, I told him immediately, as a massive apology.

CakeandCustard28 · 12/02/2020 10:22

Why’d you report it? It’s like your husband is your boss. What a weird question.

Notsure94 · 12/02/2020 10:36

I wouldn't bother polishing out a dent on my car far less a cupboard door so struggling to find context. Having said that kitchens are places for a certain amount of banging around so I'd hope the spouse would be understanding. Presumably both of you realised expensive repair was a possibility with expensive materials.

Rachierach11 · 12/02/2020 10:40

I would mention it to my husband because I'd be annoyed that I'd done it (if the damage is bad enough to need fixing). I'm also rubbish at fixing stuff so would need his help. I wouldn't report it to him like he was my parent or boss though and I would expect him not to care very much

Tetrapanex · 12/02/2020 10:43

‘Report’ Hmm

CheshireChat · 12/02/2020 11:05

I really don't mean this in a dickish way, but is English your first language as 'report' is a really odd way of putting it Confused.

You just, you know, kinda mention stuff

ASureSign · 12/02/2020 11:06

Weird question. I'd tell my husband because I would be annoyed by it but not because I would feel the need to 'report' it to him. TBH he would probably feel the need to 'report' it to me as I would be the one to sort it out.

BTW polishing out scratches on shiny kitchen doors is very difficult especially if the doors are a few years old. You would probably be better off buying a new door.

JustKeepOnChangingUsernames · 12/02/2020 11:07

I’m sure it would come up in conversation or would be noticed by the other one before long if obvious.

AryaStarkWolf · 12/02/2020 11:11

It's a door, "reporting" sounds very official for a scratched kitchen cupboard Grin

Thehop · 12/02/2020 11:14

I’d mention it.

Gazelda · 12/02/2020 11:17

I'd let my DH know I'd done it. As others have said - in a "gah, so bloody annoyed at myself!" way rather than a confession.

I'd hate for him to notice it and then question whether DC had done it and not owned up.

IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 12/02/2020 11:37

I wouldn’t ‘report’ it to anyone cos it’s my house too and these things happen, plus husband is not boss that’s me!!