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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To shop my bro in law for fraud

79 replies

AtAt123 · 11/02/2020 20:22

Hey all. Long time user, new name.

My sisters (ds1and ds2) and I come from a very troubled family. We recently got over our differences after going no contact with our parents. We had a family event last week and had a great time in each other’s company. We then got together again at the weekend for my child’s special event and again had a great time. Today ds1 realises that her credit card has vanished at event 1 and has been used 5 times since. BeforeAnd after event 2 for non essentials. Me being me and being like a dog with a bone went to three of the places locally that her card had been used at. Turns out that ds2s partner has taken her credit card and used it in a very local shop next to their home, ordered take away to be delivered to their home and also bought home goods . I have proof from one shop that he was on cctv. Another confirmed delivery to their address.

Ds2s partner was raised in care and they have 2 babies. Ds2 works very hard and is talking about them getting engaged. He works but is a bit of a part time cocklodger. We know 100% it was him.

I reckon she should report to police and let him face the full consequences regardless of his previous spell in young offenders. She is undecided. We are both worried about the fallout as we love our sister and her kids.

Aibu in thinking that once he has stolen from her house and committed fraud, we can never come back and he should face the law?

OP posts:
Didntwanttochangemyname · 11/02/2020 20:33

I'd report it, he's a thief, doesn't have a leg to stand on.

PinkiOcelot · 11/02/2020 20:39

That’s terrible. Talk about shitting in your own backyard!!
I’d report to the police.

TheBigFatMermaid · 11/02/2020 20:40

What does DS2 say about it? Was she in on it?

John470322 · 11/02/2020 20:42

Report it to the bank as lost and get it blocked.

LovingLola · 11/02/2020 20:44

I’m a bit surprised that all three shops gave you any information at all. It wasn’t even your card. Contact the police in any event.

AtAt123 · 11/02/2020 20:44

It’s been reported to the credit card company and blocked. We know ds2 has nothing to do with this as she is in a very reputable line of work and has done nothing but talk about how delighted she is that we are all back in touch and building our relationship up again. Plus on two of the three instances I have been told and or shown that it was him.

OP posts:
Whatisthisfuckery · 11/02/2020 20:44

Wow, steeling from his kids’ mother, what a prince. I hope she reports him.

CalmdownJanet · 11/02/2020 20:45

Sounds like you could be doing her favour, report away

villamariavintrapp · 11/02/2020 20:46

Yes report it as stolen. He's obviously not very bright is he?!

AtAt123 · 11/02/2020 20:47

@lovinglola I’m not talking high powered multi national companies here. One was a local shop and one was one where the manager was about 19 and was ok to confirm that they had cctv and point the offender out of four photos on my phone so I could request they save the cctv. The final place IS a multi national and none have asked for id, just times and transaction prices which my devastated sister was happy to give me so I could look into.

OP posts:
user1468348545 · 11/02/2020 20:48

Could you not report the fact it was stolen and used and just say they investigated and found it to be them. No need to know you did the digging first.

NearlyGranny · 11/02/2020 20:49

Card blocked first. Then the two of you really need to tell your sister what her partner has done before proceeding.

Whichever way this ends up it's a heartbreaker. Your DS2 and her children need to come first. Her dishonest partner cannot expect to be shielded by her family. He has potentially driven a wedge right through her family without stopping to think about the harm he's caused. 💔

PrinnyPree · 11/02/2020 20:50

Have you both talked to DS2 about it? What does she say about it?

BigFatLiar · 11/02/2020 20:52

Wow, steeling from his kids’ mother, what a prince. I hope she reports him.

No, I think its the other sisters card so stealing from his kids Aunty.

Gindrinker43 · 11/02/2020 20:52

This is the thin end of the wedge, whats next?

caroline161 · 11/02/2020 20:53

He's not going to stop with just this is he? If she marries him it will get worse.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 11/02/2020 20:54

Well you can report him but it will probably ruin your relationship with ds2. I am also surprised that 3 different shops showed you cctv. That is also breaking the law.

TheTruthAboutLove · 11/02/2020 21:02

I would absolutely shop him.

How on earth did he think he’d get away with it?!

BigFatLiar · 11/02/2020 21:05

Well you can report him but it will probably ruin your relationship with ds2.

I suspect ds2's partner has already done that.

DS2 needs to know whats happened, her decision to stay with her thieving partner or kick him into touch.

KarmaStar · 11/02/2020 21:08

100% say yanbu.report op!

ExhaustedGrinch · 11/02/2020 21:13

You need to report it! How could you ever have family events with him there again? You'd not want him in your homes or near your belongings. I think his past is irrelevant in this case, to steal from anyone is bad enough but to steal from your own partners family is really scummy.

Elderflower14 · 11/02/2020 21:15

Report... Ds2 will thank you in the end...

Scrumptiousbears · 11/02/2020 21:19

If you're going to report it you need to do it sooner rather than later so police can obtain the evidence (eg cctv) before its deleted.

TitsInAbsentia · 11/02/2020 21:21

I don't think you'll get any thanks for it, could risk pushing her away. I'd be more inclined to talk about it very loudly next time you're all together that can you believe some CF took the card etc.

letmebefrank · 11/02/2020 21:33

I'd report him before your DS2 ties herself legally to him via marriage ...