Reported to social services now receiving abuse

[Namechangeth]

I posted a couple of days ago about needing to report a safeguarding concern about a child. I went to social services and although I know it’s the right thing to help the child I have received some horrible abusive messages. I’m quite worried about running into the family members as they are all local to me and I don’t want to put my children at risk. I feel like this is just the beginning of the repercussions and I am very unsettled. I have no idea what action social services took or what will happen next but I think that when a child is suffering that we don’t have a choice. I’ve been accused of having no loyalty and wanting to be a hero and of getting involved when it’s not my business. As well as lots of other horrible accusations and abuse. I feel quite nervous. I’m posting here just to ask whether other people may have had any experience of this. And because I’m generally very anxious.

Well done for doing the right thing. Definitely report the abuse you are receiving, sadly I doubt you are the first person that this has happened to.

OP you're a star.
As for ''family loyalty", we all know what that means in this context. Put up and shut up.
I hope the kid knows you stood up for him because just knowing there's one adult that believes you can make a terrific, positive impact on a child living with neglect or abuse. It gives you hope.

Just wanted to say OP, you have been incredible

You’ve changed this little boys life and you are a hero

You won’t receive the gratitude a hero gets, but you deserve it Amazing

I was reported to the Social Services when I initiated my divorce. If your children love you and they are well presented, nothing to fear. Stressful for sure. They will interview your children and you should tell them that this report could be retaliative. Don't make yourself ill. Do you get along well with the school? A lot of people can report others to the Social Services, but if you have done nothing wrong, it will blow over.

Sorry for the stress you're being put under. In my case, my now ex wanted to keep the house and that was the only way to do it.

You did the ONLY thing any decent human being would have done. 🌷

I think you should do two things, well 3 actually, now. 1. Tell the police 2. Tell SS that your brother is unfit to care for your nephew either & 3 look after yourself.

Are you able to foster (or whatever they’ll call it) your nephew?

Poor little sausage, I hope either you or some lovely foster careers will be able to take him in soon. I know the care system is seriously lacking and there are some nasty bastards in the system, but there are also lots of really lovely lovely people in Forster care services x

@iem0128 did you actually read the op?

Just adding my voice to all the others saying that you have absolutely done the right thing

Just read your previous thread OP. You did the right thing. You honestly 1000000% did the right thing

@Oblomov20 how supportive of you.

so you cant go to your loser brothers funeral? thats fine. AAt least after talking to Social Services you wont be going to the little boys funeral either. You have hopefully saved that little one xx

I’ve been unable to function normally these past couple of days

Of course you haven't, Name.
Nobody would be. All the worry about your little boy, & then abuse & threats for doing the right thing when your nasty brother would not.

Please don't even think of blaming yourself for any feelings around how you are coping, ok? I daresay you are all too used to your brother's behaviour, desensitised to the true level of how unacceptable it is, & prone to minimise its effects on you (normal technique for survivors of familial abuse).
Stay strong by making sure you have time for self-care, just the small comforts that make life a little sweeter & easier to manage. You are just as important as anone else in the sad scenario, look after you as if you are your own best friend for the next few days.

excuse me, "about the little boy", not 'your' little boy

You did the right thing. There is a child here and ignoring it would have been neglectful of you too. It’s a scary thing to have done and just offering support to you, you may well have changed the course of that child’s whole life.

We need to change from a society that looks at authorities as the enemy and that telling on someone is wrong. We need to be aware that most of the time telling authorities is better than approaching directly.

I’d second telling social services and the police. You don’t need to bring charges but it would be good for them to aware that you feel threatened. That way if you do need to call in the future they will have a picture and you protect yourselves as it will be more difficult for them to say it was just a disagreement.

You’ve stepped in and possibly prevented the unthinkable from happening. If only someone like you had been around for the children like Baby P and Victoria Climbie. Please know that you have done the right thing. You are amazingly strong and brave and we are all proud of you for helping this a little boy.

OP - you have done the right thing. We are talking about a helpless child.

Report all harrassment to the police. Ignore all the abuse and shouting, however difficult it may be.

Just because somebody is a family member does not mean that you are duty bound to put their needs first. In this scenario the only thing you could do was report it, because a child's safety must always come first. I say that as somebody who has been put in a similar situation. I remember thinking that I had done everything I could to make sure that the child was safe, and that any repercussions were the result of people who's opinion on "loyalty" and "friendship" etc. Didn't matter a thing to me anyway. I would advise you to speak to the police if you are very scared or consider a non molestation order. Certainly block your brothers number. He sounds like a bully, and she sounds even worse. Family or not some people do not deserve to be in your life, and if they will not respect your right not to be abused by them, then the only logical response is to hope they have more respect for the law. If they won't listen to your boundaries, maybe they will listen to legal ones. Good luck, and know that you are one of the good ones, I know he said you are a 'hero' to be nasty but actually you have been brave and loving to that child and so 'hero' doesn't seem like the wrong word to me.

I want to thank you OP. I grew up in an abusive household where people knew but no one reported. I'm messed up as a result. You saved this boy. Well done for doing the difficult thing, and thank you again.

Adding to the chorus: sorry that you are receiving abuse. You did the right thing. Don't doubt yourself, OP. Children's welfare trumps everything. Do keep a diary/record, just in case you need it.

You definitely done the right thing Op, your nephew needed you to be his voice and protect him

I'm sorry to hear that a message wouldn't work and that you have no other family to intervene.

I think you just have to keep repeating - like a stuck record - "It was very hard, but I acted out of love for XXXX and I would do the same again"

Rinse and Repeat.

Op, you definitely did the right thing. I just read your other thread and this tiny boy’s situation is heartbreaking. His parents are not putting him first, so you have helped him.

Please don’t doubt that you did the right thing. Just think how sad and scary his life must be every day, after school and more at weekends. He deserves stability and care and a chance of happiness.

I’m really sorry you’re getting this abuse but I hope you can be strong and keep in mind that you have done the right thing. The six year old is the priority.

@messolini9 you’re so kind thank you.

I have an update. The social worker feels there is no issue at all with the child. I think the next incident will have to happen to him. When a member of the public gets involved.

I was taken into care at a very early age due to parental neglect, alcoholism and toxic/dangerous environment. You absolutely did the right thing.

You so did the right thing by reporting, no doubt about that. Hold your head up high. I wish more people were brave like you, to put the child first and not the adult.