Reported to social services now receiving abuse

[Namechangeth]

I posted a couple of days ago about needing to report a safeguarding concern about a child. I went to social services and although I know it’s the right thing to help the child I have received some horrible abusive messages. I’m quite worried about running into the family members as they are all local to me and I don’t want to put my children at risk. I feel like this is just the beginning of the repercussions and I am very unsettled. I have no idea what action social services took or what will happen next but I think that when a child is suffering that we don’t have a choice. I’ve been accused of having no loyalty and wanting to be a hero and of getting involved when it’s not my business. As well as lots of other horrible accusations and abuse. I feel quite nervous. I’m posting here just to ask whether other people may have had any experience of this. And because I’m generally very anxious.

@Dieu he has been ranting so much about my disloyalty and yet there’s no loyalty from him towards his son. They have been offered help. And hopefully they will get lots more.

Exactly, but sadly people like this won't see your (very normal!) logic.

You have totally done the right thing and I would report anything to the police

@Oblomov20 so if we see or suspect a child is bein g neglected or abused we 're super to ignore it and turn a blind, and next second you hear of the child being murdered. No way in hell would I have that on my cons cience.

What I want to know op is who told this woman it was you. Like I said in your previous threAd the school aren't allowed to divulge that information.

I thank God for people like you OP.

As scary as it is please remember you absolutely did the correct thing. Reading your previous post, my heart broke for the poor little one who's in such a awful situation (my DH grew up in a very similar house, and the damage it caused to him is still prevalent well into adulthood).

Report any abuse to police/social services who you made the initial report to as any additional information will help to support their next steps regarding the childs safety.

Please remember you did the right thing, you should hold your head up and be proud as too many people chose to ignore child abuse.

You should be proud of what you have done. It takes courage to do the right thing. It is natural for you to feel apprehensive but most likely things will calm down quickly. Keep a written record of date/time etc if there is any abuse and call 111 for advice if you are still worried. ( Think 111 is the non urgent police line?)

You did the right thing re SS. I would report the abuse to the police and keep reporting every incident

What sort of messages are you getting op?

You did the right thing!

It's not easy being the whistleblower.
Well done for standing up - it takes courage.
Those idiots are just digging themselves a bigger hole.
Report to police if you need to.

I had to google the quote to get it right - 'The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing'

You have loyalty to the child who doesn't have a voice. The father is responsible for his own actions. You have done nothing wrong.

Thanks so much. The father of the child is my brother. He is aware it was me who has reported because he told me some shocking information and I said it has to be reported. He is now saying the most awful ranting things in long text messages with lots of abuse etc. I have blocked him because I’m jumping every time I hear the phone. I’ve yet to see the mother or her family around but I’m scared. I know the little boy is deserving of care and I could not possibly have the information and do nothing to help. My brother is saying it’s not my business and I don’t know the child but any one of us should be safeguarding any children. I’m very shocked and I can’t understand why the school haven’t done more.

Just hold your head up high you've done nothing wrong, please report any abuse no matter how little, I suggest keeping a diary to show the police

Mybabyspider, you are seriously being presumptuous. I never said anything of the sort. I never said OP shouldn't.

But if you do, you need to be aware of the repercussions. Which is a totally different bit of advice, which I would give to anyone, re most circumstances!

I've just read your last post. You made the right decision, I'm sorry it's led to abuse. The poor little boy needs someone to stand up for him.

Just read your previous thread - you had no choice but to report them, OP. The child isn't in a safe environment and you want to ensure that they are.

You mentioned taking care of the child yourself. I'm guessing one of the parents is a family member so that may be a possibility. He'll be a lucky boy if he comes to you.

Cross-posted.

Oh actually, sorry OP, wrong thread.
I thought you were the OP who saw a 'drunk mum' after afternoon school pick up.

Apologies!

You've done the right thing and unfortunately your brother is doing himself no favours. I'm so glad that you reported your concerns. Now continue to report, report, report. Tell the sw what he is saying and doing to harass, threaten and intimidate you and log with the police should it escalate.

I thought the same

@TroysMammy yes exactly! I feel my loyalty automatically goes to the helpless child. Not the grown adults who are too selfish to put him before themselves.

I’m paranoid that someone in their family will be on Mumsnet and will see this and know me. But that little boy desperately needs help.

@Jellybeansincognito the messages were abusing me as in telling me what a terrible person I am and how I’ve done so much damage to the family. Lots of ranting about things I’ve apparently done wrong all my life. Mostly about family loyalty. And about never fucking having any relationship with the family from now on and not being welcome to go to my (abusive) brothers funeral?!

You did the right thing (I read your previous thread).

I think your brother will calm down eventually. Do you have any living parents that could reason with him? Or other relatives?

I know you have blocked him, but perhaps send him something along the lines of:

"I know you are scared and I know you feel betrayed, but I acted out of love for XXXX. He deserves to live without fear and I know you love him very much, and deep down know this is right. I love you too and you are a good person, but you are struggling and you needs some help. Please swallow your pride, accept the help that is being offered so that you can be the dad XXXX deserves. Please take a breath and stop abusing me and, when you are ready, let me know if there is any way I can help".

Or something along those lines but in your own way.

Really sorry that you are going through this, but the anger being directed at you is further proof that these people have not got the capability to put this little boy's needs first. You were right to report this. Children being safe is EVERYONE's business, there is no such thing as a situation where a child is unsafe but people should ignore it and let the parents do what they see fit. Safeguarding is everyone's concern. In safeguarding training, the key message is that if you have concerns they should always always be reported - just the facts of what you know, of who said or did what when. If ultimately there is nothing to be concerned about then that will be the result of the investigation, and no harm done.

Mostly about family loyalty.

Yeah, whatever. What about their "loyalty" to their little boy? It's guilt that's making them shift blame to you.

Let them rant, OP, the child's welfare comes first.

@Oblomov20 no I didn’t see that thread but this case is ongoing and the child is suffering.

For even more disclosure I can say that he has come to both the police and the social services attention but the case isn’t kept open. I’m very happy that mum has been offered support. However what I heard two days ago is that the emotional abuse and neglect is worse than I thought and my brother- the father of the child- has been complicit at best. He has assured social services that the child is fine with mum.