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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Advice needed, honest opinions

94 replies

lilmisstoldyouso · 10/02/2020 16:14

So, here's a situation which has developed and I need some advice, well opinions really, I'll try to be brief.

Me and my DH both work demanding full time jobs. About six months ago he decided to buy into a franchise, his plan was/is to leave his current job once the business "takes off". He paid a 10k to buy the franchise and spent three weeks away from home attending training.

He has absolutely no experience in business, I mean none. And he had absolutely zero experience in the field the franchise covers.

Before he bought into the franchise I expressed my concerns "business is difficult, you have no knowledge of the product,". He simply wouldn't listen, said I was not ambitious, was scared of change and he was doing it anyway. In the end I just agreed to disagree because it was causing too many arguments.

He is now two months in, is completely overwhelmed by the legalities, tax, insurances and what not, and admitted this weekend that he can't remember how to use their computer system, so can't process any business transactions, he hasn't had any customers so this is probably a good thing, otherwise I'd dread to think what would have happened to the people's money.

He has now asked, well demanded, that I attended the training as well, so that he has someone to "support him" and someone to answer calls when he's not around.

I have explained that I never had any interest, intention, desire what so ever to run a business. I have no interest or knowledge of the product, am not a sales person, have my own job to do.

His response was "well when it takes off you'll be happy to spend to money won't you".

Because he runs the franchise from home I have no break from it. Yesterday was spent sitting on the couch for literally 10 hours doing online training for suppliers. If I so much as glanced at my phone he accused me of not being supportive and not being "there for him".

My opinion is this (Please tell me I'm wrong, I need perspective on this)

I have no interest in running a business, he knows this. I work full time in my own demanding job. I told him not to do it because I could foresee the issues it would cause. I feel like I'm being railroaded into something I want no part of. I think (privately) he's a fucking idiot for spending 10k of our money on a fucking pipe dream. The industry he's invested in is cut throat, and the commission is a pittance, by the time every man and his dog had taken their cut he will be lucky to earn 50 quid per job.

All we have done this weekend is argue. I resent him for bulldozing us into this. Sorry but I do.

Am I being unsupportive?

AIBU for not wanting to jump on board?

What would you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

lilmisstoldyouso · 10/02/2020 19:05

Thanks all. I DON'T want to separate, he's a fucking idiot, but he's my fucking idiot.

I'm just sick of all the shit from this.

I'm going to play the divide and conquer game i think.

Just so pissed off . . .

OP posts:

stormciarathegale · 10/02/2020 19:10

He has zero right to demand (your own words) you do this fucking training. For 3 weeks? So expecting you to use your leave for his delusions so you can then do the donkey work? Look you need to just tell him that you will not be part of the business, that your support extends to listening and the emotional.

Mistystar99 · 10/02/2020 20:58

What an idiot (him)

MummyOfBoyAndGirl · 10/02/2020 22:19

Hell to the no would I get involved in this!

pickingdaisies · 10/02/2020 22:44

Best I can think of is to help him set up some systems so he can manage it for himself. Sounds like he hasn't got himself or the business, or his space, organised. Has he got a dedicated space in the house for his office? Get all the stuff in one place, make that his work space, so it's not spreading into the rest of the house and your life. Then get him to note down all the things he needs to sort out. One offs, regular things. Timetable, calendar, prioritise the one offs, then create a schedule for the regular stuff. Help him to do this over a weekend, then step away. Don't do the training. Hell no. My DH does a lot of work from home. I don't have to sit next to him while he does it. Don't let him think that's normal, it's really not. Best of luck.

Thelnebriati · 10/02/2020 22:49

He isn't talking like someone who runs a business, he is talking like a MLM bot (multi level marketing - pyramid schemes). They are taught phrases to deal with people who are 'unsupportive'.
I wonder if he's actually bought into a pyramid scheme?

So I wonder of he'd have a case for a refund?
Surely if you are legitimate, you don't sell someone a business franchise when they have no experience of running a business, doing their tax, or using a computer system?
You can't possibly teach someone all of that in 3 weeks, they must have expected some previous experience. If they promised to teach it in 3 weeks, didn't they check he could do it before taking his money?

TokyoSushi · 10/02/2020 23:03

I absolutely would not get involved in this OP. If you do the training and sort out the mess I expect you'll get absolutely no thanks whatsoever.

I'd imagine you'll just be expected to do more and more while he revels in the glory of his fabulous business.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

The4thSandersonSister · 10/02/2020 23:13

He fucked up, thinking he was smarter than he actually is, and is now looking for you to bail him out. What happens if you do, and he come up with his next "brilliant" idea.

The $10,000 is an expensive lesson to learn, and I only hope he learns it, but I think his pride is hurt.

MartinJD1976 · 10/02/2020 23:48

What type of business is this franchise?

NeverTwerkNaked · 11/02/2020 00:18

Like a few others, I am wondering if this is more like a dodgy MLM or similar? What is the name of the franchise? We might be able to advise further?

Tartyflette · 11/02/2020 00:39

Please stand firm and do not get involved in this scheme.
There is no upside for you, none whatsoever.
All you can do is repeat, ad infinitum if necessary, that as you did not agree to the idea in the first place but he went ahead with it anyway it is most definitely not your responsibility and you CANNOT get involved.
Read him chapter and verse about your work rules on getting involved with outside enterprises.
They look very clear cut and it would be utterly foolhardy to put your job at risk. especially as this scheme is quite likely to go tits up sooner or later

Youtoldme · 11/02/2020 03:30

Even though it looks like he’s made a massive mistake, can he not employ someone short term who understands the business to get him started? Then at least he’s given it a good try.

BritWifeinUSA · 11/02/2020 03:40

Sounds like a travel agency franchise. They work well if you have lots of experience and prior reputation and can bring existing clients with you. No good of you’ve no experience whatsoever. I deal with many such franchise holders in my job (airline account manager). They think because they’ve booked a flight on Expedia before and a hotel on booking.com that they can be a travel agent.

Weffiepops · 11/02/2020 04:15

He needs to cut his losses, don't go to the training. The more you both flog this dead horse, the more resentful you'll both be

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/02/2020 05:00

Isn’t there some support from the company that he can call and ask for clarification whilst he is still learning.

If it is travel agency, friends Dd has also bought into something like this and it cost her a lot more than £10k
She too is struggling to make it work

People just don’t use travel agencies like they did

curiousierandcouriser · 11/02/2020 05:25

@lilmisstoldyouso

Funnily enough, I've had similar experiences so I feel your pain My DW is a SAHM and has been trying to find ways to increase our family earnings from home. This led her to a few ill concieved businesses/MLM ideas which, fortunately, has not left us too out of pocket.

One time she did take a loan out without telling me and bought a premise for a business... I was not too impressed but we were able to pay it off fairly quickly. Luckily, she knew about the business and was able to make it profitable. Aside from the loans/start-up purchases, I've kept out of it though will listen and give opinions when asked.

Like Bluntness said, if you get too involved and it crashes, you will be blamed. If you do nothing, you will be accused of not being supportive and blamed. Only you can decide how much you want to try and salvage this - it could be a good learning opportunity. OTOH, I completely understand not wanting to spend 40h+ on a demanding job and come home to work on a business. Could you sit down with DH and agree on small tasks you can help with?

EuroMillionsWinner · 11/02/2020 13:28

You can bet that her volunteering to help with 'small tasks' will be all the crap grunt work. Hence, his idea she could take calls when he's 'not around'. Tokyo is spot on. Don't even go there. You'll get all the shit admin donkey work, no thanks, all the blame. Stick to tell him you can extend emotional support but don't have time for anything else.

CastleCrasher · 11/02/2020 16:22

It sounds very like an MLM. How was he recruited into the franchise if he's not from the sector, has no business background etc?

BedStuy · 17/02/2020 22:16

Any update @lilmisstoldyouso OP? How's it going?

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