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AIBU?

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Original poster

So many babies in the family now. Just boring.

183 replies

RoarerBoringAlice · 10/02/2020 14:32

I know I'm being unreasonable.

But it's how I feel.

I am the eldest of 6 siblings.

My youngest is a young adult.

Ive done the baby bit. My brooding is over and done with.

I had my children earlier than my other siblings, they all started late, I started early.

So they are all in full bloom of their young families.

Being 5 of them all having 3 + kids each it's just seems like an ENDLESS parade of new babies.

All of whom I love of course, its not the babies that bore me but this trend that was not about when I had my kids is ever present, gender reveal parties, baby showers, naming ceremonies...

Arghhh. I have to just smile and sit through the same shit over and over. It's either a boy or a girl. It's not that exciting.

I never felt the need to have this constant attention when I was pregnant.

People visited the baby when it was born.

If you were lucky you got a baby grow and a balloon.

Now it's arranging meals out with decorated tables and games and confetti cannons and it just does my bloody head in.

Of course I would never say this to anyone in real life.

But christ. It's fucking trying to get through over and over again.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 10/02/2020 15:33

This is how childfree people feel all the time.

itallworkedoutok · 10/02/2020 15:35

I'm in the baby stage currently in my final baby. I haven't had any baby showers or naming events as I find them too cringe and grabby.

I did however have a confetti cannon for the sex with my last baby but only as my other young children wanted it, we set it off in the living room by ourselves for their enjoyment.

However my family really aren't interested in babies, I'm not very close to my mum and siblings so maybe this is a contributing factor.

But I find it all very cringe worthy

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/02/2020 15:36

Yup everyone acts like they are the first people in the world to reproduce.

The mistake people make, is thinking everyone is as excited about their children as they are.

Marahute · 10/02/2020 15:37

I blame social media for all this shit. Totally.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 10/02/2020 15:40

As someone who had her kids fairly recently I agree with you.

Gender reveals, baby showers and naming ceremonies are a special kind of nauseating attention seeking wrapped up in a "well you can't object because it's about my baby and you have to be delighted for me" nonsense.

I'll get flamed for this but having a baby is special to no one except the parents and possibly grandparents. I wish other people would realise that no one else gives a shit.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/02/2020 15:40

They are sentient potatoes.

I prefer puppies.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 10/02/2020 15:41

I also feel like people don't need to have quite so many children the moment they meet a new partner. I know more people who have babies by their OH of 3 months than they do by their spouse.

MrsPotatoHeadsSheeWee · 10/02/2020 15:42

Previous generations had weddings and christenings. Current trends are for baby showers and gender reveals.

Both as authentic as the other. Hopefully it isn't snobbery that causes OP and others' to dislike the newer trend.

ILearnedItFromABook · 10/02/2020 15:42

What bothers me most is when people stop caring about anything else but Baby. Yes, a baby (or grandchild) completely changes your life and is the most important thing to you, but when my sibling had a child, I didn't enjoy the way that every family gathering turned into one long Baby-Worship session. Everyone just sitting around, watching Baby. A little of that would be fine I like Baby, too! but Baby-Worship took over and became the default "family activity", whereas before we would've played a game or watched a movie.

It was sad, and while things have become somewhat better as Baby has grown up into a school-aged child, the family dynamic has never returned to what it was.

katy1213 · 10/02/2020 15:44

I wholeheartedly agree - but I'd send a card, I wouldn't go!

tillytoodles1 · 10/02/2020 15:45

I got pregnant, had my babies, got a few gifts and that was that, I'm glad I didn't have to put up with all the parties and gender reveal stuff while I was pregnant.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/02/2020 15:47

Whenever someone says "gender reveal" or just uses the word gender in general, correct them by pointing out the word is sex not gender. Every single fucking time. Interrupt people if you have to, to ensure they get this. Explain it properly. Perhaps hand out some FPFW leaflets, or stickers. I think they'll stop inviting you. And you've raised awareness. Win win in my view Grin

Only joking kind of. I fucking love babies, especially new babies, but I really REALLY cannot be arsed with gender reveal and baby shower parties and all the associated bollocks.

I'll be supportive and genuinely interested in pregnancies, I will offer to take siblings when mother is in labour, visit whenever is convenient for new parents and cuddle babies, I won't mither for visits and I'll offer to make tea and I'll bring cake. I will say how gorgeous the baby is and genuinely mean it, I will offer to babysit whenever they want and happily abide by four pages of PFB rules Wink I'll ask what they would like as a gift for the baby and always get something for the mother too, but I will have no truck with coloured fucking balloons and confetti and shit.

And I will try to continue to be kind and supportive and genuinely fond of the DC to the point when in five years time the DC has thrown up at 3am and can't go to school but neither parent can take any more time off work, they can ring me at 5am and I will come babysit.

I hope they'll forgive me for the lack of ooohing over a pink balloon.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 10/02/2020 15:50

I feel your pain and I don't think it's about the era or generation. DS is a year old, no baby shower, no sex gender reveal, no secrecy about the name because he didn't have one until he was nearly two weeks old. His first birthday party was at home with close friends and family, just sandwiches, tea and birthday cake, no hiring of a venue, caterers, entertainers etc. I just don't get it, maybe I am just acutely aware that the only people truly interested in my pregnancy (definitely no we there!) were me and DH and whilst DS is the centre of our world I wouldn't expect that level of attention from others and it's not bitterness speaking, we have very close and supportive friends and family, grandparents who look after him week in week out and are in a comfortable enough financial position to indulge in all the nonsense if we wanted, mostly it just makes me cringe.

FelicityFebruary · 10/02/2020 15:50

Mrspotatohead that's a good point on changing social activities. Should I get invited to a future event I ought to go in lieu of the unlikely to ever happen wedding!

Bihye · 10/02/2020 15:53

I'm so, so envious - I have no family and can't have DC, maybe your family could adopt me (please) so the pressure is off you and I'll make all the right fuss of the babies!

wildcherries · 10/02/2020 15:53

Agree with AutumnRose1

Haworthia · 10/02/2020 15:56

YANBU

The difference between engagements, weddings and babies for me (at 38) and my sibling’s (at 29) is absolutely massive. Massive, elaborate, expensive stag/hen dos. Wedding hashtags. Massive, expensive baby showers - with the obligatory flower wall Grin

It’s very social media driven.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 10/02/2020 15:59

MrsPotatoHeadsSheeWee an old fashioned church going couple marry and have two children - one wedding, two christenings.

A non religious couple 15 years ago have a secular wedding and decide to let the children decide for themselves about religion when they're old enough - so just a wedding.

OP's siblings may well also have had weddings, and weddings are getting bigger and more self indulgent, they're not falling out of fashion. Not to mention stag and hen dos having evolved from a few hours having drinks to entire holidays... Then they're apparently having gender reveal parties, and baby showers and naming ceremonies all for each child!
That's an awful lot more events! Wedding plus 3 events per baby. Even if no wedding it's six events for a couple with two children instead of the old three.

Marriage rates may have fallen gradually at a population level since the 70s but hundreds of thousands of people still get married every year in the UK and more money is spent on weddings than ever before.

So your argument is weak.

Funkycats · 10/02/2020 16:02

This is my thread! It's all such a load of nonsense. As is all the ridiculous fuss about hen do's and weddings.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 10/02/2020 16:04

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles very true

Relabel everything SEX reveal, you'll soon stop being invited Grin

Gender reveal is ridiculous on so very, very many levels - not only the fact what's being revealed is the sex not the personality/ preference for (what? Unicorns over dumper trucks? Ballet over football? Wine o er beer?) But also the facts the sonnogrophers sometimes interpret the difficult to see view of the genitals on the scan wrongly!

ThisIsBigMoon · 10/02/2020 16:08

I totally agree with you. It is becoming about the stuff and money and not the child.

However, the thought of a "baby sprinkle" will keep me laughing all afternoon. I thought that was when they wee'd on you. Grin

Bubski2020 · 10/02/2020 16:14

YANBU - My SIL had a baby shower, it was the most dullest day of my life and the amount of stuff that was bought for her was unreal. Such a waste. Stuff actually went to waste - nappies clothes etc

Also when the baby did arrive I had nothing to buy for it as he had everything and sometimes two of the same thing.

My mam & I only gave small gifts for the shower the others went way over the top with gifts which was kinda mortifying.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 10/02/2020 16:15

It's just starting with my nieces and nephews. I've relieved to have left the baby stage behind now my youngest is at school and am so bored by my niece's pregnancy already (she's only 16 weeks and there's constant updates, gender reveal happened after she had some blood tests, we've already been pinned down to check we're ok with a date for the baby shower she's throwing - likely to be a swanky venue.) SIL doesn't shut up about it either - I get that she's excited to be a grandma but I don't know if I can feign enthusiasm over this for the next 24 weeks.

formerbabe · 10/02/2020 16:17

I'd understand if these were friends and acquaintances but this is your family. Aren't you excited to meet your new nieces and nephews?

stormciarathegale · 10/02/2020 16:17

YANBU. It's all stunningly boring.

I also feel like people don't need to have quite so many children the moment they meet a new partner.

Oh, yes, as if they have to cement every relationship by procreating.

What is a naming ceremony? Everyone already knows the name already, no? Or is it where the baby's name is revealed?