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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague borrowing stuff

91 replies

polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 11:58

AIBU to stop letting my colleague borrow my phone charger. He's been using it for months, promised to buy one, but hasn't, sidles up to my desk and starts the request with "Polka, you're looking fine today" or similar. I am now being teased by other colleagues for being a walkover.
The last time he asked, he said he'd ordered one. I asked him to show me proof and he said he'd dig out the e-mail. When pressed he confessed he'd lied. He's just asked to borrow it again.
AIBU (where the U could also stand for uptight!) or a pushover. Opinions please!

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/02/2020 13:42

Short sentences wil help you continue

No!

I bought you one... find that!

No!

No!

Highonpotandused · 10/02/2020 13:45

So he’s lost the one you bought him and will probably lose the one he borrowed from you. And when he does, people here will just tell you to buy a new one. Listen to your colleagues OP, they sound like they have their CF detectors switched on.

BreatheAndFocus · 10/02/2020 13:46

He sounds like a lazy freeloader. Practise saying No in whatever way you feel comfortable with and then continue to refuse. He’ll eventually get the message.

Think of it as doing him a favour. He’ll actually have to grow up and organise things for himself.

A very occasional request for something is ok, but this man is taking the p...

Original poster
polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 13:49

I forgot the MN essential "No is a full sentence" didn't I?!

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 10/02/2020 13:54

Have you got ....
needs to be answered with a ' no sorry'

SandAndSea · 10/02/2020 13:58

Buy him one for his birthday?

Highonpotandused · 10/02/2020 13:59

@SandAndSea RTFT!

SandAndSea · 10/02/2020 14:00

Ignore me - I missed that you've already bought him one, sorry.

mencken · 10/02/2020 14:01

the answer is 'no' and 'you are an adult, organise your own life. Including carrying a phone charger and some paracetamol. Like the grownups do'.

SandAndSea · 10/02/2020 14:02

High - We crossed and as you can see, I've already apologised for missing it. It's hardly crime of the century. Take a chill pill.

OscarWildesCat · 10/02/2020 14:08

Wouldn't bother me if it wasnt being used, I have a charger on my desk that is frequently used by others, genuinely dont see the problem?

Cantuccit · 10/02/2020 14:15

We are very helpful as a team, we get coffees for each other, give paracetamol, cake on birthdays, print things off, listen to each other’s problems.

But we would never ask to borrow someone’s charger every day. That is rude and disrespectful because it’s not borrowing, it’s commandeering. Sad that some people on this thread can’t see that.

inwood · 10/02/2020 15:19

I hate people borrowing my charger invariably I forget to ask for it back or they forget to give it back and it gets lost in the ether of identical chargers.

I just say no though.

MadMadMad · 10/02/2020 15:35

At least he asks!
I was conducting a training course and had plugged my phone in at one side (on silent as all phones had to be), we had a tea break and when I came back in to the room I went to check if there were any important emails and one of the trainees (one of our volunteers) had unplugged my phone and plugged hers in instead.

twoshedsjackson · 10/02/2020 17:45

You already bought him one, and he lost it! That changes my first suggestion to "What happened to the one I already bought you?" followed by "You expect me to buy another one so you can lose that as well?"
He expects paracetamol and drinking vessels to be provided? He doesn't fancy you, he's looking for well-organised, all-providing Mummy!
As PP's have said, you'll be doing him a favour in the long-term if you let him get his act together.

kittie01 · 10/02/2020 17:50

Tell him to get his own. Or, the answer is no, that’s it just no

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 10/02/2020 17:54

Well come next Christmas doesn’t matter who gets him for Secret Santa. The entire office buys him chargers from Poundland.

SandAndSea · 10/02/2020 18:22

How about making up some signs ("No you can't borrow my xxx...") and just holding up whichever is appropriate?

ILearnedItFromABook · 10/02/2020 18:55

Yes, it's annoying to have someone rely on you to provide something on a daily basis! Even if it is "just" a charger. Chargers wear out and break or he could "lose" it (in his bag) or it could be stolen, since his original one was stolen. Bottom line: some people aren't as careful with things as others especially if it's not their own stuff.

Also, what if she needs it? Why should she have to go get it back from him? What if she forgets he has it and then doesn't have one at home when she needs it?

It's fine to share on an occasional basis, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting to share with someone who's taking advantage. It's inconvenient and inconsiderate to ask so often! He's employed. I'm sure he can afford a cheap replacement charger. Hmm

Original poster
polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 19:58

Thanks all. I have decided he IS a cheeky fucker and shall just say no from now on. There are others he can ask so I’ll defer him to them!

OP posts:
AriadnesFilament · 10/02/2020 20:00

“Can I use your charger?”

“Nope!”

“But—“

“Nope!”

Repeat every time

AriadnesFilament · 10/02/2020 20:01

There are others he can ask so I’ll defer him to them!

That’s a sure fire way to piss people off. Just say no! Don’t give him names of alternative mugs he can try it on with!

coconuttelegraph · 10/02/2020 20:12

Wouldn't bother me if it wasnt being used, I have a charger on my desk that is frequently used by others, genuinely dont see the problem?

We're all different and it does bother the OP, no doubt there are things that bother you that others couldn't care less about, does that make them annoy you less?

Cherrysoup · 10/02/2020 20:22

So he lost the one you already bought him and doesn’t have one at all?? He’s an idiot, as well as a cf! My favourite response would be ‘No, I don’t want to’ which is a) true and b) leaves bugger all room for argument/negotiation. Is there a shop near your office where he can get one? Send him, I mean literally tell him to go there now.

WhatWouldChristineCagneyDo · 10/02/2020 20:40

Some useful sentences for you.

'Your chronic disorganisation is not my responsibility'
'The charger fairy is not at home'
'I have actual work to do, I am not your Mummy'
'I think you should consider seeing your GP about your forgetfulness'
'Go away. Stop disrupting my work'
'I do not have time to pander to you right now'