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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague borrowing stuff

91 replies

polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 11:58

AIBU to stop letting my colleague borrow my phone charger. He's been using it for months, promised to buy one, but hasn't, sidles up to my desk and starts the request with "Polka, you're looking fine today" or similar. I am now being teased by other colleagues for being a walkover.
The last time he asked, he said he'd ordered one. I asked him to show me proof and he said he'd dig out the e-mail. When pressed he confessed he'd lied. He's just asked to borrow it again.
AIBU (where the U could also stand for uptight!) or a pushover. Opinions please!

OP posts:
Poorolddaddypig · 10/02/2020 12:52

Why wouldn’t you let him use it if you aren’t?!

ElderAve · 10/02/2020 12:54

Either he needs to charge his phone for work, in which case the company needs to buy him a charger or he doesn't and he shouldn't be charging it at work.

Although, as you can buy one for the price of a coffee, I'd buy him one and wrap it up nicely for his "birthday"

Or you could just say no.

Personally, I never give up the opportunity do someone a favour. Partly because, it's nice but mainly because a unconscious tally is kept and it always pays to have some in the bank.

iklboo · 10/02/2020 12:56

Although, as you can buy one for the price of a coffee, I'd buy him one and wrap it up nicely for his "birthday"

Or he could just buy his bloody own. Why should the OP furnish him?

mummmy2017 · 10/02/2020 13:01

Tell him this will be the last time.
Either to bring his one from home in or buy one from a shop today.

ElderAve · 10/02/2020 13:03

I'd do it to make the point in a lighthearted way ikiboo and solve OP's problem as she seems so distressed by it. I really can't be doing with all this determination not to be taken advantage of. Do a few nice things and the world's a much nicer place, for you as well as everyone else regardless of whether they "deserve" it.

Original poster
polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 13:06

I totally forgot to mention in my OP that I bought him one but he claims it was stolen, so now keeps asking for mine. Does that change things?
Possible, unintentional drip feed sorry but he is a frequent requestor of painkillers/ other items.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 10/02/2020 13:06

Why is this a problem? I'm always surprised by what people get het up about.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 10/02/2020 13:07

YANBU - the occasional loan is fine but a regular loan is a bit of a piss take. I’d find an excuse not for it not to be available and he’ll pretty quickly get used to the idea that yours isn’t available.

I’ve always charged my phone at work, whether it was a work phone or not. Thankfully I work for the sort of employers who wouldn’t even think about being petty enough to mind.

LorenzoStDubois · 10/02/2020 13:07

They say if you need to borrow something three times, then you should buy one of your own.
I'd stop bringing it in to work.
CF.

ForalltheSaints · 10/02/2020 13:09

You'd be doing others a favour by saying no, as he probably does the same thing with other things.

northernlittledonkey · 10/02/2020 13:09

Next time, say no - to whatever the request is!

Beautiful3 · 10/02/2020 13:10

Why not let him borrow it? Is it that much of a big deal?

monkeymonkey2010 · 10/02/2020 13:10

stop lending it to him and he'll eventually stop asking - simple.

timetochangeagainforever · 10/02/2020 13:13

It's a phone charger! Sharing is caring - is that not what we teach our children? I hope so. If you are not using it at the time he needs it, what's the problem?

Twickerhun · 10/02/2020 13:13

Why do you not want him to borrow it? I don’t get the problem? I loan out my charger to different people - it costs me nothing, doesn’t hurt...

BaolFan · 10/02/2020 13:17

I don't think it's so much the phone charger as the repeated requests to borrow things - and the expectation that he can be as disorganised as he likes, because he can rely on the OP to sort him out.

Just say no.

Can I borrow your phone charger?
No.
Why not?
Because I am fed up with being constantly interrupted by you asking to borrow things. It needs to stop.

coconuttelegraph · 10/02/2020 13:22

Is there a reason that you have to let him know that you have it at work, why don't you just say you don't have one if you don't want him to borrow it?

TeaForTara · 10/02/2020 13:24

Yes, that is a bit of a drip feed. Next time I'd tell him "I've not got it with me today." Keep saying that. Then if I needed to use it myself and he points out that I obviously HAVE got it with me, I'd say "I haven't - in the same way as you have ordered a new charger."

If he can lie, you can lie back. Honestly, you bought him one and it was stolen? WTF?

Next time he asks for painkillers "I've only got two and I might need them myself. Isn't it time you brought a couple of boxes in?"

Sounds like he's a complete freeloader and it's time to stop facilitating it.

Original poster
polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 13:25

I don't mind lending anyone anything, but the assumption and the losing of the one I bought him bothers me. Respect I think this is boiling down to. And no to the fancying me...he crawls to anyone he is asking something of. He hasn't even brought his own cup in, as he won't bring one in, but uses whatever skanky ones are in the drawer

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 10/02/2020 13:26

Tell him someone stole yours too? Suggest it's his turn to buy a replacement since you bought the last. Then stop by his desk every day for the next month and ask to charge your phone. (not serious)

bito · 10/02/2020 13:26

Just laugh - say no and turn away. No is a full sentence remember.

PiafPilaf · 10/02/2020 13:26

Off the point, but you can get a new iPhone battery fitted for about £30 once they start running down. Well worth it.

Thelnebriati · 10/02/2020 13:27

Just say no and deal with his tantrum. When not being able to say no reaches to the point that your colleagues are teasing you, its affecting your reputation at work.

Original poster
polkadotpj · 10/02/2020 13:39

I'm working on my self esteem and ability to say no currently- today was the first time I challenged- I was backed up by everyone in the office and the phrase CF was used! It's just upset my balance a little, as he was a bit funny about my standing up to him- so he's a proper CF!!

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 10/02/2020 13:41

I’m not sure why you don’t want him to use it.

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