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Original poster

Thoughts on husband meeting a woman directly after walking out.

55 replies

bigbluemug · 10/02/2020 10:35

Is it bs?
Says he met her on a night out the eeekend after he told me that he didn't love me anymore and wanted out.
They are together six months now , still going strong.
Lies? I heard it on the street .

OP posts:
garbagegirl · 10/02/2020 10:38

Does it make much difference to how you currently feel either way?

Try to concentrate on you and moving forward. fwiw its unlikely BUT I met my husband of 18 years the day after I walked out on my ex so I know it can happen!

Stressedout10 · 10/02/2020 10:39

1 million to 1 against
Sorry Flowers

sebashocked · 10/02/2020 10:39

BS

Lifeisabeach09 · 10/02/2020 10:39

Might be the truth or he may have been seeing her whilst he was still living you. You are, unlikely, to find out for sure so let it go.

Fuck him and focus on yourself.

GardenHeartedDreams · 10/02/2020 10:39

I agree, it doesn't matter. I would focus on yourself like PP said.

But yes probably it's BS (see 'the script').

Anyway who cares? Onwards and upwards, you're well rid of him by the sounds.

Lifeisabeach09 · 10/02/2020 10:40

*with you

Clangus00 · 10/02/2020 10:40

It could’ve happened that way, of course it could.
It also could be that they met before he left you.
You’ll never know. Why does it matter?

lostinadream · 10/02/2020 10:41

I wouldn’t believe it, OP.

What i think it should do is show you that’s he’s an untrustworthy shitbag.

I’d pity a woman who got with a man a week after he left his wife.

MashedSpud · 10/02/2020 10:41

He was having an affair.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 10/02/2020 10:41

It does seem suspicious to me...

As you look back were there signs or alarm bells?

But I would also say you might have dodged a bullet with this man because if he cheated on you...

XPQF · 10/02/2020 10:42

He was having an affair.

Not that it matters now.

I'd feel sorry for her tbh.

justcly · 10/02/2020 10:43

Men rarely leave unless they have somewhere to go.

Original poster
bigbluemug · 10/02/2020 10:48

Thanks for replies.
It matters because I am trying to heal and learn from my failed marriage.
It matters because I heard about it on the street in my own hometown and all the while , I was oblivious.
It matters because I have a teenage daughter who can't stand him and who still doesn't know why her father left and refused counselling or family therapy . We have children with sn.
It matters because I really want to move on so that's why I posted ... for your experience and thoughts .

OP posts:
CuriousCapricorn · 10/02/2020 10:50

Of course it matters to you op, how stupid of pp to say it doesn’t, this is your life.

I hope you have a wonderful future ahead of you and your dc, sod him, his loss Flowers

Original poster
bigbluemug · 10/02/2020 10:51

Alarm bells were that he worked all the hours and when he was there he was absent.
No extra money for hours of overtime.
Angry unhappy short tempered with kids. Short fuse and finally, the reason he was leaving was because of me and my attitude . He didn't like contributing to the running of the home and rearing of the kids so found me to Be critical when I got sick of his shit and Got pissed off with him.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 10/02/2020 10:52

It's almost certainly a lie.

Cheeseandwin5 · 10/02/2020 10:58

To be honest, I would be very skeptical about that happening too, but whilst it might matter to you and help you put him behind you. I am afraid I doubt you will ever know the truth.
You shouldnt use it as a tool to punish him with either as in the end it will be your DC who suffer. If they have questions, they should ask your EXH and let him explain.

GroggyLegs · 10/02/2020 10:58

I'd trust your gut - what do you think happened?

If he had met someone else - horrible though it is - he did the better thing walking away if he was going to act on his feelings. It's got to be better than continuing an affair behind your back.

Im sorry. It still stinks Flowers
I hope your life is improved without his lazy arse to look after on top of everything else.

TheTrollFairy · 10/02/2020 11:00

It’s unlikely to have happened straight from walking out the door so I would suggest getting a sti check up if you were having unprotected sex.

All relationships go through hard times and it sounds like your ex thinks that he can have an easier life elsewhere. It amazes me that people walk out just like that thinking that they have it so hard at home (not saying this for all, just my observations of failed relationships around me) and the person who walks out forgets that real life will catch them up eventually. Anywhere they go, bills will need to be paid, you still have to go to work and the house still has to be tidied. Unless you aren’t a parent (or one that decides to go NC with your kids) then you will still need to raise your kids. Maybe not as much as before but the kids aren’t going anywhere

EverdeRose · 10/02/2020 11:02

Men don't leave unless they've something else to go to.
Sorry xx

scottishlass123 · 10/02/2020 11:04

Who knows whether he had an affair, it doesn't sound good though. He either had an affair or checked out of your marriage and family and as a result treated your family terribly. He has turned the blame on you to ease his guilt for leaving. He is not a good man. You and your children deserve so much better. Isn't it well for him that he can walk out on his family and have no responsibility, he is a weak excuse for a human. You are better off without such a horrid person. Take this time to heal and put your life and your family back together. It amazes me how some men just decide that family life is not for them and have the luxury of just walking away. Get a good solicitor and make him take responsibilty. Wishing you all the happiness in the future.

FizzyIce · 10/02/2020 11:11

What a bastard .
You’re well rid and I think it does sound like bs.
Really hope you and your children can move on and be happy without this cock in your life

YgritteSnow · 10/02/2020 11:12

Unlikely. However a close friend of mine was dumped by his wife after he found out she was having an affair. Less than one week later he was on FB "in a relationship" which then lasted about three months. He wasn't the one to walk out of his marriage though so reeling with shock and was probably desperate to fill the gap. He's not very bright either to be fair.

Jollymollyx · 10/02/2020 11:12

He probably did. I complete get why you would want and need closure on this. You are owed the truth but unfortunately haven’t got it. However it’s probably best you didn’t know until now as you are most likely stronger now then if you found out when he walked out. What a pathetic man

Original poster
bigbluemug · 10/02/2020 11:16

@YgritteSnow I shouldn't laugh but funny reply ..
Thanks for good thoughts. He is broke already whinging about money .his maintenance is decent I think but he is pathetic..He has no car sorted for himself... six months later. In fairness he has upped his game as parent and we are very amicable as far as kids are concerned .
Using
My car to ferry kids round when I'm not using it , but if I stop that, they won't be able to go with him. He has me over a barrel

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