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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reported woman at school

67 replies

Idunnowhoo · 09/02/2020 19:17

Due to somethings I've seen over the last few months few months I've been concerned about a little boy at my son's school. His mum appears to have an alcohol problem, and after seeing her with him clearly very drunk just after the school pick up I decided to talk to the head teacher at the school about my concerns. The mum has gone mental and been putting posts on social media that she will hunt down whoever has done this and make them pay. I'm worried myself and my son could be in danger now. The school said it would be on confidence but I'm unsure what to do. Any advise?

OP posts:
NeutralJanet · 09/02/2020 19:19

Do nothing. She doesn't know it was you so her threats are empty. You did the right thing by raising it as a safeguarding concern, she doesn't sound particularly stable.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 09/02/2020 19:19

You do nothing. Don't tell anyone and the school will keep it confidential

Sazquatch · 09/02/2020 19:20

The school will not tell her it was you. You won’t need to be involved again. It clearly could’ve been anyone who told the HT if she was stotting drunk around the playground.

Sparklesocks · 09/02/2020 19:22

She doesn’t know who reported her so you and your son will be fine. Best just to stay out of her way.

Mirackleeus · 09/02/2020 19:25

Do nothing. Be exactly the same as usual and do not engage with any witch hunts. You've done the right thing.

TulipsTwoLips · 09/02/2020 19:26

You did the right thing.

I'd make sure you don't tell other parents though if you don't want any drama.

Whynosnowyet · 09/02/2020 19:27

I reported a dm for physical abuse in confidence. Never told a soul it was me who made the call... Keep calm op.
She won't find out.

RositaEspinosa · 09/02/2020 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumwon · 09/02/2020 19:32

what makes you think you were the only one who noticed or reported it? You did the right thing & if she approaches you look her in the eye & lie - seriously - but at the same time say something like "maybe I should have judging from your behaviour" & walk away

thickwoollytights · 09/02/2020 19:33

I wouldn't post about it on a public forum Hmm

Raspberrytruffle · 09/02/2020 19:33

You wont be the only one that's noticed her drink problem . Keep quiet , there's most likely been other concerns raised off other parents

WoWsers16 · 09/02/2020 19:37

Same as everyone else. Don't tell anyone - and no one will find out it's you. You have told them confidentially and you may not be the only one. You've done the right thing- she's obviously trying to reflect the situation.

soakedat3 · 09/02/2020 19:41

You did the right thing. She probably didn't consider herself to be drunk as a lot of high functioning alcoholics don't realise when they are past the point of function and it makes them extra dangerous. Imagine if she misjudged or fell crossing a road!

Well done OP!

Ohtherewearethen · 09/02/2020 19:42

Those posts on social media just show her up more as an absolute twat. Honestly you can't have been the only one who noticed she's got an alcohol problem and I'd be very surprised if the teachers don't already have a 'file' of evidence. She's obviously trying to use threats/intimidation because she's been caught out. Everyone will know what she's like and take no notice of her rants. Don't say a word in real life to anyone else. You could be one of 20 people who reported her. If she does go around confronting people just act clueless. She'll tie herself up in knots soon enough. You did the right thing for that child, absolutely.

FuzzyAtmosphere · 09/02/2020 19:48

I agree that the likelihood is that more than one person reported her and possibly her child’s teacher noticed as well.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/02/2020 19:49

Be careful about disclosing information on here that could identify you. You've already disclosed that you have a son (but presumably no other DC) at the school, that you've seen her at pick up time and that you are on social media (Facebook friends?) with her. Keep going and she'll figure it out, if she's on here.

Poing · 09/02/2020 19:49

What made you think she was drunk?

MimiLaRue · 09/02/2020 19:57

Do nothing and just act normal. This is probably just her drunken rants if she's an alcoholic. I agree with others that if she's frequently drunk, it might not have just been you that reported her.
You did the right thing 100%- she's putting her chid at risk doing that and she clearly needs help.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 19:58

Just leave it, she won't know it's you.

HelloDulling · 09/02/2020 19:59

You mentioning this will be one piece of the jigsaw. Don’t tell anyone and she‘ll never know it’s you.

windymillersmill · 09/02/2020 20:00

I'd get this thread deleted if I were you OP.

knightlight · 09/02/2020 20:02

You've done the right thing - if she is harming the child in any way - reports like yours help build a picture for the school to report to the correct authorities.

Oulu · 09/02/2020 20:03

It's incredibly unlikely that you are the only person who has raised concerns. People who drink don't hide it well.

Ebeneser · 09/02/2020 20:08

Screenshot the post & comments, file for future reference, say nothing.

hennyspennys · 09/02/2020 20:09

People who drink don't hide it well.

Some do, some don't.

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