Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reported woman at school

67 replies

Idunnowhoo · 09/02/2020 19:17

Due to somethings I've seen over the last few months few months I've been concerned about a little boy at my son's school. His mum appears to have an alcohol problem, and after seeing her with him clearly very drunk just after the school pick up I decided to talk to the head teacher at the school about my concerns. The mum has gone mental and been putting posts on social media that she will hunt down whoever has done this and make them pay. I'm worried myself and my son could be in danger now. The school said it would be on confidence but I'm unsure what to do. Any advise?

OP posts:
justthecat · 09/02/2020 20:13

There could of been numerous complaints, just keep it to yourself

caramellasagne · 09/02/2020 20:15

How did you report it ? Verbally or in writing
You need to ask the school to keep the confidence as if she does a subject access request she could potentially find out it was you if they aren’t careful to redact all information it’s happened before in cases I know of where names have been left in when they should have been redacted

HopeYouStepOnALego · 09/02/2020 20:19

If I were you I'd report your own post and get this deleted OP. If she's on here she'll be able to narrow it down to people collecting boys. Don't give any more away and don't breathe another word to anyone, even family, so there's no chance of this ever being spread.

dayowl · 09/02/2020 20:20

^ I agree. You have your advise now, ignore and don’t say anything

simplekindoflife · 09/02/2020 20:22

Chances are, you're not the only one who's reported it!

Keep your head down, act normal, tell nobody.

You did the right thing Thanks

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/02/2020 20:25

It's easy for me to say, but Don't b e worrying. As long as you e told no one. She can't find out. Oh and the H T certainly can't tell her due to safeguarding reasons. She also has a duty of care to you and your little one.
You did the right thing. Flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/02/2020 20:28

Oh yes @HopeYouStepOnALego makes a good point. Get the thread deleted.

Lairymary · 09/02/2020 20:29

^ Maybe OP actually has a daughter and said son for the purpose of this post. It's what I would do if posting somewhere public with the potential to be found out.... who is to know either way? She might be smarter than some of you think!

Whatisthisfuckery · 09/02/2020 20:33

Do nothing. If she doesn’t know it was you then let it stay that way. Honestly if that’s her attitude sS will not be impressed, and it won’t help get rid of them any quicker either, esp if they find out about her making threats on social media. It sounds like she has some serious issues to face up to.

I might be tempted however to screenshot the posts and email them to the head of safeguarding at the school, from a burner email if you’re concerned, although schools are very discrete about these things. If and when SS do an assessment things like her attitude will be taken into account. Most people would be utterly horrified at being reported and keep their mouth shut. The fact that she isn’t says a lot.

Pinkyxx · 09/02/2020 20:36

You absolutely did the right thing. Please have this thread deleted, close your MN account and create a new profile for yourself as well.

Keepgoing88 · 09/02/2020 20:36

I work in a school. Please try not to worry. The school would be in ALOT of trouble if they leaked any kind of information you have told them in confidence to anyone, including the parent of the child. Most teachers and school staff are very aware that you must not disclose information like this.

Miljea · 09/02/2020 20:43

Oh, settle down, some of you!

You've been watching too much 'True Crime' or whatever.

The OP did the right thing; as may have several other parents or teachers.

The 'delete!/ name-change!' Is a bit ridiculous.

Jux · 09/02/2020 20:46

Don't tell anyone else. How is she going to find out?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/02/2020 20:47

Delete
Name change
Create a new account
Get plastic surgery
Go into witness protection
Emigrate to Mars
Ffs get a fucking grip

lostfrequencies · 09/02/2020 20:49

Hobnobs Grin

VenusTiger · 09/02/2020 20:51

I'll bet others have also reported it OP

AmazingGreats · 09/02/2020 20:53

If somebody was drunk at school pick up I hope I would have the guts to tell them that it was me who raised the concern to the school. I don't know for sure if I'd be brave enough to do that, but I definitely hope I would be because safeguarding is so important and that is a bridge I'd be willing to die on.

I have been in situations where I have had parent friends who were doing some dodgy shit in the past and have told them that either they get help or I get the help for them for their kids sake. I have had to report an incident of child abuse too in the past. I accepted that their might be repercussions (And there were some) but ultimately once I had been put in the position of knowing that was my duty to that child (and to any child) to put my feelings aside in order to protect them.

isadoradancing123 · 09/02/2020 20:54

Are you sure of your facts before sticking your nose in, are you very sure she was drunk

MimiLaRue · 09/02/2020 20:55

@hobnobsaremyfave I'm cackling!

The chances of that parent finding this thread are so miniscule. Even if she DID, how on earth would she know who the OP was? I'm guessing Idunnowhoo isn't the OP's real name? lol

SaltedPretzel · 09/02/2020 20:57

OP, you did EXACTLY the right thing in reporting that woman, so good on you for that. The school have to keep any reports of this nature confidential so please try not to worry about any repercussions (easier said than done I know).
Keep quiet about reporting her, but even if she does get wind of it just play dumb. It could be anyone who blew the whistle. No need to incriminate yourself. Flowers

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/02/2020 20:58

Quick everyone burn your phones, your laptops, your PC's
You can never be too careful
In fact everyone run as fast as you can
Just in case some random person in an nation of 60 million happens upon this thread

Italiangreyhound · 09/02/2020 20:58

If she ever accuses you, you can deny it. It's your word. I think it's totally fine to lie if it keeps you safe. You do not owe her an explanation or anything.

Plus also, I'd get this thread deleted.

Oblomov20 · 09/02/2020 20:59

Drunk 'just after the school pick up'?

What does that even mean? Where did you see her? At a pub, after school pick up? 15 minutes after school pick up? Or was she walking home with her son?

At the end of term, about 8 mums go to the pub with children and then walk home.
If someone reported me I'd be furious!

justasking111 · 09/02/2020 21:01

Imagine sharing on social media that this had happened to you. Many people will be agreeing with your action.

Italiangreyhound · 09/02/2020 21:01

Well done for reporting, you did the right thing.

isadoradancing123 reporting a safe guarding issue is not 'sticking your nose in'.

It's a duty on all of us to look out for the weak and vulnerable.

The fact the mum has reacted this way shows that there are issues IMHO. Because a normal response would be to work with those questioning your behaviour.

Hopefully, others will have reported her too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread