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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't pay the bill

347 replies

ffsimstupid · 09/02/2020 09:12

Stupidly went out with a bunch of 'friends' last night for drinks and food. They decided they weren't going to pay because they 'get away with it all the time' and essentially we're going to leave me with the bill because I was protesting. Long story short ended up follow them out ( I know so stupid). I'm the goody two shoes of the group because of my guilty conscience and as I suspect this morning I feel awful. I really want to ring the restaurant and let them know the situation and pay when they open but I'm scared this is the wrong thing to do and can land me in big trouble.

Please try not to flame me I know full well I was in the wrong and I want to fix this, please advise me what you would do.

OP posts:
eternalopt · 09/02/2020 11:35

Don't beat yourself up too much OP. You did something silly due to peer pressure and now you are doing the right thing to make it right. They'll be grateful that the bill is being covered and that will be the end of it.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/02/2020 11:35

You need to talk to them today, or I’d imagine this will be reported... especially if this isn’t the first time. I’d imagine your friends will be getting quite the reputation.

Can you go in today? I know that must feel more daunting but the sooner you pay, the more likely it is that they’ll just let this go once you’ve paid. If they’ve spent a while investigating and reporting it, they may decide to report it anyway.

Livelovebehappy · 09/02/2020 11:38

You socialised with a bunch of thieves op. Pay the bill, ditch your friends and call every one of them out on it on social media.

tiredsleepysleep · 09/02/2020 11:41

Good on you OP for doing the right thing and fixing it. A group of friends and I walked out without paying a bill before because we had too much wine and genuinely forgot... usually pay at bar but on this occasion we had a tab running. I did same as you and phoned, apologised and paid. They were grateful and fine with me .

katewhinesalot · 09/02/2020 11:41

We had just asked for the bill in a restaurant once,. then we were all evacuated from a restaurant. We hung around outside for 20 minutes or so with the fire engines in the cold but eventually gave up and carried on with our evening.
I didn't sleep well that night worrying about not paying so went back the next day and posted the money and an explanation of what happened. My friends paid their share but left to them they'd have just left it as obviously it wasn't our fault and we had hung around a bit with the intention of paying.
I couldn't do that. I felt too guilty.

Also walked out of a pub once as we genuinely did forget to pay. Rang up later on and they said someone would us ring is back. No one ever did but I went in and paid anyway. They knew nothing about it but rang it through the till as if it was a normal meal that day. No record of anything and I doubt anyone connected would ever have been told we went back. Shouldn't have bothered with that one.

AutumnRose1 · 09/02/2020 11:45

OP "I'm the type to go back in the shop for walking out with something."

why do you walk out with it?!

glad you're paying. Ditch this lot though. Utter wankers.

also, does the place have CCTV? It might be handy for local restaurants and bars to be alerted to a group that regularly runs off without paying.

TreeClimbingCat · 09/02/2020 11:46

I would message the others asking for their share otherwise you will be providing the restaurant with all their details.

Absolutely despicable behaviour to leave without paying.

Chihaha · 09/02/2020 11:47

What a shitty situation OP. How many of you were there? I dont think it's a black and white situation- I'd have panicked as I could afford to pay for myself but not the whole table.

You definitely need new friends though

NotYourTypicalNerd · 09/02/2020 11:47

Do not pay for your friends!

Teddy1970 · 09/02/2020 11:47

Glad you're doing the right thing OP, but I have to ask why do you want people like that in your life? Just why? I don't get it.

KangapooandRoo · 09/02/2020 11:48

OP how did you get on?

LuluJakey1 · 09/02/2020 11:49

Give the restaurant the names and contact details of your friends so they can inform the police. It is theft. I imagine they'll pay up pretty quickly then rather than be charged.

tenlittlecygnets · 09/02/2020 11:50

They decided they weren't going to pay because they 'get away with it all the time'

All the time, eh?

Then give all their names, mobile numbers and addresses to the restaurant. Pay your share, then block all those thieving, lying scumbags you socialise with.

Wereallsquare · 09/02/2020 11:52

As PP have said, go in and pay.

I had "a friend" like that and even after they pulled these stunts that could have had me arrested, I held on to the friendship way too long. She was always a selfish and self-righteous bitch. I finally let the "friendship" go but I regret not doing it at the first sign.

Ghost those "friends". They really do not deserve and explanation.

GFJoe · 09/02/2020 11:52

Oh at least you're doing the right thing now op. No point in berating yourself for things you can no longer change. Just go back and do something about it now. I don't suppose you will let something like this happen again. I would say to the friends you have paid and invite them to do the right thing by paying you back. If they don't, then honestly, are they the sort of people you want to surround yourself with? The waiters etc are giving up their evening for crap wages and customers think it's ok to run off. If they still think that's ok in the cold light of day then they are not good people. Best of luck op.

lottie360 · 09/02/2020 11:53

Sounds abit like pack mentality.

People often do things they wouldnt do if in the safty of a group.

Dont think your friends are probably the worst people but they do sound very immature, spoilt and selfish.

I would 100% tell them all I had paid their share, hopefully they will feel some embarrassment and realise that they are behaving in a very shitty way.

Sometimes it just takes one person to set a good example and not follow the crowd.

FizzyIce · 09/02/2020 12:00

That’s so scummy of them and you should’ve spoken out and stuck to your guns then but atleast you’re trying to fix it .
I’d also just pop some money in an envelope with a brief note

SkiingIsHeaven · 09/02/2020 12:00

I'm so glad that you are paying the bill.

I run my own business and it is terrible when people don't pay.

It is my livelihood and I have bills to pay.

It is only ever scum bags that don't pay. It is never down to the quality of the service.

They had a good night and ate all of the food so no problem with quality. Your friends are scum bags. I am glad that you have a conscience.

Sexnotgender · 09/02/2020 12:01

If it a small independent restaurant then shame on you, if it’s a multi national or even international Company not so bad, but I think I have also heard that the waiting stuff then have to pay your bill out of there tips!!

Shame on you regardless. You will have utterly ruined the minimum wage earning waiting staffs night. I don’t care how sorry you are this morning you went along with it.

I worked hospitality for over a decade and the waiting staff had to pay walk outs from their own pocket, never mind from their tips which often weren’t sufficient.

I’ve seen many young staff in tears because they had to stump up cash for arseholes like you and your friend. Fucking idiots.

Crockof · 09/02/2020 12:05

I love all this nostalgia about restaurants calling the police and people being caught. Why do you think businesses post on fb, because the police no longer have the resources.

SalmonOfKnowledge · 09/02/2020 12:06

Your friends have caused you a lot of stress here :-(
I agree that your face might be on cctv somewhere.
Try to go in and pay your share, if you do it over the phone they'll bill you for it all.

SalmonOfKnowledge · 09/02/2020 12:07

@Sexnotgender stop it with the ''shame on you'' post. Have you not grasped that the OP is not comfortable with what happened and is figuring out how to rectify it.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 12:08

This happened at my local pub a few months ago.

The Landlord put the CCTV images on Facebook and they were named and shamed within an hour.

Original poster
ffsimstupid · 09/02/2020 12:11

Just an update called in just and they thanked me for honesty but said I'd need to come in. Getting ready to go into town now. Eased my worry a bit but will be happy when I've gone in and paid. Will be then messaging the others for my money. Again, thanks for the responses, to those who have said there is no excuse I am fully aware but I've done it and it was silly and I've learnt my lesson big time. Got things to think about in terms of friends.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 09/02/2020 12:15

OP glad you're going in

re the CCTV, same here - local cafe owner Tweeted a group who'd up and run and they were tracked down within a couple of hours. Worth doing. They need to learn a lesson.

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