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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Didn't pay the bill

347 replies

ffsimstupid · 09/02/2020 09:12

Stupidly went out with a bunch of 'friends' last night for drinks and food. They decided they weren't going to pay because they 'get away with it all the time' and essentially we're going to leave me with the bill because I was protesting. Long story short ended up follow them out ( I know so stupid). I'm the goody two shoes of the group because of my guilty conscience and as I suspect this morning I feel awful. I really want to ring the restaurant and let them know the situation and pay when they open but I'm scared this is the wrong thing to do and can land me in big trouble.

Please try not to flame me I know full well I was in the wrong and I want to fix this, please advise me what you would do.

OP posts:
millmoo · 09/02/2020 10:16

Why do people do this ??!!!
I would never walk out of somewhere without paying. I agree phone up and pay your part of the bill and leave a generous tip

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/02/2020 10:17

her only fault is that she didn't have the strength of character to stand up to her friends

All of the party left without paying, so yes the op didn’t stand upto friends but also didn’t pay and left like the others.

stophuggingme · 09/02/2020 10:18

@1066vegan
Morally you might disagree but if you took a moment to familiarise yourself with the law and fact relating to theft- in this case making off without payment - then the OP has committed an offence.

She knew nobody including herself had paid
She left the premises in full knowledge of this fact.

End of.

Yes her friends are worse, in that it is disgraceful in that they seem to do this on some sort for regular basis but do you think this restaurant gives a shit about that?

She is doing the right thing now but not at the time. Hope the OP can rectify it and make more judicious friendship choices in the future.

The friends are not friends. They are a bunch of thieving arseholes.

LadyGuffers · 09/02/2020 10:18

I agree with everyone saying the OP does not deserve a kicking here.

I would also bet those with the black and white attitude would fare poorly if someone subjected their own lives to such scrutiny. Almost certainly there would be multiple things that could be declared immoral about their own behaviour.

OP fucked up. Knows they did. And is now trying to make good. That's more than most people can manage.

LovelyPuddings · 09/02/2020 10:21

Hope the phonecall goes ok, OP. You sound like a better person than your 'friends'.

YappityYapYap · 09/02/2020 10:21

I would just phone them up and say you were sat at (number of table) last night and there was discussion that one member of the group would pay and you would all send bank transfers to them for your share. Say that you asked the member of the group how much you owed them to send the bank transfer this morning and they said they didn't actually pay it, they thought X did. You now know that X did not pay either so you want to pay your share and you have told all your friends to call and pay their share too now that it's become apparent no one paid. Then send a message to your friends saying you called the restaurant to pay for your share and you've told the restaurant they all will as well.... do not pay the whole bill. If you need to, give the restaurant their names and phone numbers. They are thieves and this might teach them a lesson

FamilyOfAliens · 09/02/2020 10:21

DD is a waitress.

She’s had this happen countless times and she says it’s not just the loss of money. It’s the fact that people have cooked their food, served them, waited on their table, made polite conversation, and then it all gets shoved back in their face because the customers are immature selfish twats who have no consideration for anyone but themselves.

ProfessorSlocombe · 09/02/2020 10:22

We don't allow card payments over the phone since the GDPR situation

Confused

GDPR has nothing to do with card payments which are covered by the PCI-DSS rules.

Hadtoask · 09/02/2020 10:22

If it was worth running off and you were drinking cocktails that must be a hefty bill. How much are we talking? And will you be asking your friends to pay their share? Will you be confronting them at all?

Lipperfromchipper · 09/02/2020 10:23

Who booked the table OP?? Or were you ‘walk ins’??

Why on earth did you not pay your part last night?

I would call them and pay for what you had!! I know you said you said you could pay it all, but your “friends” won’t pay you back I can guarantee it!!

FamilyOfAliens · 09/02/2020 10:24

If I was the OP I’d be happy to pay any amount to rid myself of these absolute losers.

OP - set the bar higher when you start looking for new friends.

Techway · 09/02/2020 10:24

the goody two shoes of the group because of my guilty conscience

You are normal and it is them who are anti social. Don't let their judgement of you change who you are.

I don't know how old you are but I think this is a sign you need to move away from this group. Your values are positive and theirs are not so you will always feel "wrong" for being a decent person.

One thing I have learnt, when someone shows you behaviour which isn't right don't give 2nd chances. They might be fun or cool but they will drag you down to their level. They are out of order and are not good people.

zippyswife · 09/02/2020 10:24

Police officer here. Hardly the crime of the century. Your friends sound like dicks though. Sometimes restaurants report this ad a pp said it’s making off without payment. Especially if it was a decent bill and they have cctv. Could be linked with other things reported where your “friends” have been involved.
Personally I’d call the restaurant. Explain. Pay your share. Ditch the friends and forget about it.

Gonetoget · 09/02/2020 10:25

I'm sure that the restaurant will just be glad that someone is paying.
If your friends after finding our you paid in full don't offer to reimburse you, then they most definitely are not your friends and you need to raise your standards.

stophuggingme · 09/02/2020 10:25

@bugbhaer you pulled me up for saying what many others have said since the first page when the OP said she was going to pay in full. I merely said she really to pay in full.

@IhaveHagridshair I am far from perfect and have made many mistakes in my life trust me. I’m not remotely sorry though that I have written what I have on here.

It’s really sad that a bunch of adults go out and do this sort of thing.
And in this case it is black and white. They all decided to leave and they all decided to leave without paying.

TSSDNCOP · 09/02/2020 10:25

Imagine the feeling of the person that waited on you when they realised you’d legged it and they were going to cop it from the manager.

Fair play to you for paying up. Those people you were with aren’t nice though.

Walnutwhipster · 09/02/2020 10:25

Several restaurants where I live have taken to posting video or photos on Facebook. They are always quickly named and shamed into paying up. It's theft. I can't imagine it's only a few quid either.

TokyoSushi · 09/02/2020 10:28

Oh OP, you're definitely doing the right thing now. Use the 'thought somebody else had paid' line, the restaurant might be a bit Hmm but they'll just be pleased somebody has paid.

Ditch your friends though, you deserve much better!

How much is the bill?

BonnesVacances · 09/02/2020 10:29

I understand you wanting to phone the restaurant and settle the bill, but why are you paying for your friends' meals? Confused This is an excellent opportunity for them to starting coughing up for their share of the bill and understand that it's not acceptable to "do this all the time".

TSSDNCOP · 09/02/2020 10:29

Quite right. Where I live a round of 6 cocktails would be easily £36, probably more and that’s without the rest of the food and drink.

poseysbobblehat · 09/02/2020 10:31

The restaurant probably has cameras so your faces may well end up on social media soon

ferretface · 09/02/2020 10:32

God, I'd go back in, pay it and then report the 'friends' to the police tbh.

SparklingLime · 09/02/2020 10:33

Running out without paying is obviously totally wrong, but it’s also appalling that businesses take the money from the waiter’s wages/tips. That’s utterly unfair. Is it even legal? Run-outs should be a whole business loss, not dumped on one waitress.

Rugbycomet · 09/02/2020 10:35

I’m glad you’re paying. Like me, I would feel so bad. I hope they have CCTV.....

1second · 09/02/2020 10:39

If you go in & say I’m so sorry there was a misunderstanding last night & we didn’t pay our bill, can I pay now?

They’re not going to escalate it or call the police! There’s nothing to escalate... it’s dealt with.

Just play it off as a genuine mistake, it’ll be fine.

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