Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't pay the bill

347 replies

ffsimstupid · 09/02/2020 09:12

Stupidly went out with a bunch of 'friends' last night for drinks and food. They decided they weren't going to pay because they 'get away with it all the time' and essentially we're going to leave me with the bill because I was protesting. Long story short ended up follow them out ( I know so stupid). I'm the goody two shoes of the group because of my guilty conscience and as I suspect this morning I feel awful. I really want to ring the restaurant and let them know the situation and pay when they open but I'm scared this is the wrong thing to do and can land me in big trouble.

Please try not to flame me I know full well I was in the wrong and I want to fix this, please advise me what you would do.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 09/02/2020 09:59

OP, utterly shameful behaviour.

I can't get my head around that this is a planned aspect of people's night out!

To rip off some business.

Shameful.

Be careful OP, if you continue to lay down with dogs.....you can't be surprised if you catch fleas.

HisBetterHalf · 09/02/2020 09:59

Hope you are all on CCTV. Disgusting behaviour

stophuggingme · 09/02/2020 09:59

@bugbhaer I’m not the only one who has written she needs to pay the whole bill after the OP said she was going to.

Why don’t you RTFT then you’ll see?

iem0128 · 09/02/2020 09:59

I wouldn't go out with this kind of people. Soon they will use YOU! It's not food or drink as essential for survival. It's having a good time at the expense of others.

Yes, call in and pay!

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 09/02/2020 10:00

Well done, your conscience will be clear

ShoesandmoreShoes · 09/02/2020 10:01

How old are you and your friends OP?

bugbhaer · 09/02/2020 10:02

Just go in and tell the truth. You couldn't believe your friends' attitude and decision at the end of the meal. You panicked and went along with the group. You immediately regretted your choice and want to make amends.

Why lie?

I think that the staff probably had a shitty night thinking about your behaviour and to find out that some people can admit to making a mistake and take action to rectify it will be pretty thought-provoking. Especially when they realise you're paying the bill for everyone and are out of pocket.

I'd also text my friends and tell them what you've done and why. Then it's on their conscience whether they decide to settle up with you. I can't imagine you're the only one who "goes along with it" but feels bad.

80skid · 09/02/2020 10:02

I'd ring, call my part and give them the name and address of your thieving "friends"

Pinkyyy · 09/02/2020 10:02

Not sure why everyone is berating the OP? She's quite clearly unhappy with what went on, and wasn't sure what to do at the time, which is understandable. It's not exactly an everyday situation when your 'friends' say "right we're leaving now and we're not paying our bill" and you're left wondering what to do, thinking you'll be in trouble either way. She has every intention of paying for herself and she is even prepared to pay for everyone else too.

daisychain01 · 09/02/2020 10:04

My friends are usually not the worst but in this case they were dk heads

Usually not the worst?! OP stop making excuses for them, you're being naive, you've already said upthread

They decided they weren't going to pay because they 'get away with it all the time'

They are a bunch of thieving scrotes, bin them off and vow never to be carried along by people who lack a moral compass. Be less "nice"

AnyCreamWillDo · 09/02/2020 10:04

I left without paying once totally accidentally and went back the next day to settle up. Noone was angry, they just thanked me for coming back and sorting it out.

There's no reason for them to suppose that this wasn't just one of those mistakes if you're coming forward to pay today so just do it and take it as a big lesson learned.

Dress it up however you like, your friends are thieves. They won't see themselves as that but that's what they are.

rwalker · 09/02/2020 10:05

You are not responsible for them just pay your share.
Explain the only reason you left is you couldn't pay the bill for everyone and didn't know what to do.
wouldn't pay the full amount that is between the restaurant and your friends.

penberrh · 09/02/2020 10:06

I’m a pessimist fucker and a believer in ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. I wouldn’t call or go in. I’d do it anonymously by sticking the cash in an envelope. And then ditch those friends.

GinUnicorn · 09/02/2020 10:06

My friend and I once thought each other had paid and did this. We called the next morning and apologised and paid. They were fine about it - just happy that we called back.

daisychain01 · 09/02/2020 10:07

@Pinkyyy the issue here is trying to make the OP see that these people are not her friends! They even abandoned her with the bill because she was taking issue with them. How lowdown and vile is that.

1066vegan · 09/02/2020 10:08

@stophuggingme The OP is as guilty as her friends and by -albeit reluctantly - agreeing to knowingly walk out without paying she has in the eye of the Law committed theft.

I completely disagree with this. She might be equally guilty in the eyes of the law, but no way does she have the same moral culpability.

She did something that she knew was wrong BUT she tried protest last night; her only fault is that she didn't have the strength of character to stand up to her friends. That might make her weak, but most people find it hard to disagree with a group (there have been countless psychological studies into conformity).

She is making up for it now. She has said countless times last on this thread that she is going to pay the bill in full. She's not even just paying her share. She is also paying what the others stole.

She knows that she's done wrong and is making up for it. I can't see the point in kicking someone when they're down.

DressDrama01 · 09/02/2020 10:08

Another vote for dump your friends. I worked in a restaurant in my teens and a table ran out on me, all middle aged professionals. The owners took the bill out of my tips and wages for two nights to cover it.

karigan · 09/02/2020 10:09

we did it by accident years ago (height of summer sat in the beer garden of a pub and we'd eaten about 3 hours before we left, heard last orders bell and left on autopilot with everyone forgetting that we hadnt paid) They were clearly so relieved when we went back the next morning to pay.

katmandoo · 09/02/2020 10:13

I would pay, but i wouldn't have left either. Same happened to me years ago when some work colleagues just ditched me and a friend when we refused to leave. The restaurant tried to make us pay the whole bill and got really nasty with us, they threaten to call the police and get us arrested. I said fill your boots what are they going to charge me with? Paying my bill!
I did however give the restaurant their names and their employer details (didn't know addresses) and I believe they paid up and the business where less than please. Owner of the restaurant didn't press charges as it was more hassle than it was worth.
People who do this are scum who think this makes them "edgy" no it makes you look like a twat.
I have also forgotten to pay a bill in the past and again gone back and they have always been lovely.

bugbhaer · 09/02/2020 10:14

Not sure why everyone is berating the OP?

Because people like a good hanging? I'm with you, I think it's normal for people to make a mistake and then learn from it and choose to do something different next time.

It's like stophuggingme, she made a mistake and then can't admit it. It's not healthy.

FinallyHere · 09/02/2020 10:14

Wot @PrimeraVez said

Both parts.

All the best.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 09/02/2020 10:14

Just call up and pay Op and don't socialise with those friends again as they sound horrible.

CynthiaRothrock · 09/02/2020 10:14

Depending on type of restaurant there would usually be some one in from 10/11am depending on their opening times. The bill may come out of the waiters wages. You sound genuinely remorseful., tell them there was confusion and pay your share plus tip.

When I was young I had a table walk out on me, I was busy on another table and they slipped out a couple at a time, they headed to the smoking area so it didn't look suspicious. Their bill was 350. That was 2 weeks wages for me.
My boss wouldn't split my payment over a few weeks and took my entire wages (paid weekly) so I missed 2 weeks rent.

IhaveHagridshair · 09/02/2020 10:15

@stophuggingme The OP is as guilty as her friends and by -albeit reluctantly - agreeing to knowingly walk out without paying she has in the eye of the Law committed theft
I hate this kind of perfectionist attitude. It's so black and white and only appropriate if you yourself are perfect in every way. The world would be a much better place if people felt able to admit to their mistakes. The OP has already said she knows it was the wrong thing to do and wants to put it right. Judgment is the last thing she needs.

DontCallMeShitley · 09/02/2020 10:16

A while ago local restaurants were posting photos of people who left without paying, as a warning to other establishments, Police were involved.
You may already be online somewhere.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.