Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

[UnaCorda]

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

So he wasn't 'confused' enough that he wasn't 'being actively gay' is what the rumours are.

Just confused enough to lie to the necessary people and keep his rep as the housewives favourite..Or am I a cynic?

Also, the right wing press are fawning all over him and hailing him a “hero”. Imagine if it was a labour supporting married TV presenter with kids..... brave my arse, he did it to boost his career and reputation which lately was faltering.

I don’t care what he is, or whether he’s worried about this for ages, or whatever. I would simply prefer to see much less of him on TV and at the very least, I hope it stops the childish behaviour exhibited on This Morning.

This. But, it won’t stop the childish behaviour. He will continue to host way to many shows on itv.

Holly, has also become such a yes person. It’s uncomfortable to observe. So I will turn off, just like i did before his announcement.

The problem with taking any PR campaign at face value is you can miss relevant facts and your enthusiasm and support can be weaponised against the other people involved eg if they don't share PS's view of the narrative. The sole purpose of campaigns like this is to try to create a narrative. If anyone else who is involved, sees the 'truth' differently, then these campaigns are designed to isolate them.

Quite a few things strike me about this:

First, everyone saying they knew he was gay- really? He was regularly described as the Silver Fox type, drooled over, he was on This Morning so long precisely because lots of women fancied him. There is a lot of retrospective gaydar being activated here (I'm sure some people in his immediate circle knew, but he had a solid image as a family man and I don't believe everyone did know he was gay).

Second, being gay is and was then a Big Deal. Many of the celebs mentioned in this thread as gay never actually came out in the 80's or 90's, they just let everyone guess. Lots of gay stars had wives (Freddie Mercury, Elton John, even Michael Barrymore) and they were not out at all in the first decade or two. And that was in the most liberal gay-friendly media/music scene possible. I really think people might have forgotten what a big deal it was to be openly gay, people talked about no openly gay film stars (and still do). The only celebs who were openly gay were extremely camp- Graham Norton, basically, and there were not many of them.

1. Why is everyone feeling sorry for his wife? If the rumours of affairs were true, she could have divorced him after a few years of marriage. She chose not to, who knows why, may be deep love as someone suggested or maybe she likes the lifestyle of that marriage, and the companionship, and that's her choice. She will do very well in any divorce settlement if she goes that direction.

1. Quite a lot of people I know experimented/had the odd bisexual experience/had relationships with same sex/lived with a woman/man before switching and have settled down into heterosexual marriages just fine. I know LOTS of people like this. Perhaps they weren't gay, perhaps they are bisexual, perhaps the lure of conventionality and kids is enough, who knows, I know lots of women who fall into this category and at least a couple of men. Sexuality is not straightforward and evolves over a lifetime. Some bisexual men get on fine with monogamous marriage, he obviously hasn't. These things aren't predicable, and as long as he was honest early on (and it sounds like actually you would have had to have had your fingers in your ears not to notice), then those choices are valid at the time. But they don't have to stand for ever. Sometimes it's only living a certain life that tells you that it's not for you, that's why the divorce rate is high!

Such strong opinions here about how he was decieving his wife, living a lie, wasting her life etc. How he must have know. You have no idea . I was in a relationship for nearly a decade before my boyfriend told me that he thought he was gay. He hadn't deceived me as he had no idea he was gay when we met. It was a slow realisation. We split up but supported each other through the process. It was so very hard because we loved each other still. I never felt angry with him. It was just life. I value all the years we were together. They shaped me and led me to where I am now. He is still a close friend 25 years later.

Rough timeline as per my understanding, and consolidating info from the other thread

1980s and 1990s, a large chunk of people think Ps is gay anyway
27 years ago - PS gets married, two children are born during the marriage
22 years ago - alleged person is born
2010 - April fool coming out, almost identical to the actual one
2011 - alleged person and PS in twitter contact (aged 15?)
2014 - PS attends alleged persons 18th birthday
Also 2014 - alleged person attends this morning filming, and is hired as a runner at some point between then and being moved to loose women
Spring 2019 - alleged person leaves TM, and multiple itv costars launch complaints about PS behaviour. Tabloids cover the sideways move for inexplicable reasons, suggesting a potential super injunction
Dec 2019 - the latest thread here about it, before his shock revelation
Jan 2020 - ps comes out

It’s in some papers, google PS and ‘runner’, why he came out now... not ‘brave’ at all

Someone I worked with who had a connection to him told me nearly thirty years ago he was gay. I didn't believe it and over the years I'd often remember what she said and thought how wrong she must have been ....that is until yesterday. I cant remember the connection but she was absolutely adamant and I remember her saying it would come out one day.

I felt sorry for what he was going through til I saw the This Morning clip on catch up. That was cringeworthy. Him sitting there with a sad face while Holly read his statement then his wee sad voice while he spoke. Ugh. It was embarrassing.

All this talk of being brave etc is fucking ridiculous. It's an insult to people who are actually brave.

^^ This - @moomoomummy's post.

You do not know these people! FFS his wife could have known since the beginning. It sounds like she has known for YEARS. You have no idea what has gone on.

And it's none of your business either.

If he had come out and said he had been thinking of cheating on his wife for the past few years with a woman, I'm pritty sure he wouldn't have got the same admiration. He's lied to his wife for 27 years. But it's all swept under the carpet because it's men he wants to be with instead?

2010 - April fool coming out, almost identical to the actual one

Bloody hell.

Beyond yy the tabloid coverage of a runner moving from one show to another was beyond bizarre. They've obviously been skirting round the story for quite some time.

You do not know these people! FFS his wife could have known since the beginning. It sounds like she has known for YEARS. You have no idea what has gone on.

In which case the emotional confession on TM was an utter charade.

I totally agree with you, OP. Also the poster who described the bravery of soldiers and firefighters. I wish there was a ‘Like’ button on MN!

It’s been a fairly well know ‘open secret’ in tv/theatre circles.

My thoughts are ALL with his wife and daughters. I thought the interview with ‘best chum’ Holly was utterly nauseating and full of self interest.

No doubt the young ITV runner has sold his story and that will be appearing soon. I hope his wife has been aware of his infidelity and has protected herself.

He is more or less saying to his wife..."I never really fancied or desired you because I don't fancy or desire women and I never have.
I had sex with you all those years but to be honest I was just going through the motions, because like I said I'm gay - I am attracted to men. I am not attracted to women. Therefore I never ever found you sexually attractive." That is what this is saying.
He could at least have said he was Bi.

I know that 30 years ago his life would Have been very different if he'd come out then, stunning and brave back then yes. Now, just 30 per years of mendacity and dealing the benefits thereof. Poor wife and children.

The issue here is not PS being gay or coming out. It’s the clear deceit and cover up. The publicity machine going in to overdrive to garner sympathy to try to offset his shitty behavior and allegedly inappropriate extra marital affairs.

The reason threads like this spring up is because we’re far more switched on to this tactic than we used to be. They even asked the question “Why now?” in that stage managed love in with Holly to stop anyone else asking it.
It’s deeply manipulative and abuses the struggles of those for who coming out is a difficult experience.

He is more or less saying to his wife..."I never really fancied or desired you because I don't fancy or desire women and I never have.
I had sex with you all those years but to be honest I was just going through the motions, because like I said I'm gay - I am attracted to men. I am not attracted to women. Therefore I never ever found you sexually attractive."

It's not really that basic.

No sympathy from me. I don't like liars. He was still lying on Friday.

Sexuality aside he comes across as a patronising, self absorbed, odious little toad.

The issue here is not PS being gay or coming out. It’s the clear deceit and cover up.

But clearly, it's both, isn't it?

There are lots of people on all of these threads who are still unaware that you can be gay and not aware of it (ie., you are not covering it up).

Until people drop the homophobia, it's going to be difficult to get past that belief.

There are still people saying 'why isn't he bi?' or 'why didn't he lie and say he was bi?'

There are still people using this as an excuse to air homophobic beliefs.

If everyone on the thread were motivated by genuine sympathy for his wife and family, it would read very differently.

Linning I identify with a lot of what to I have written and I think you have explained it very eloquently.

I would just like to add this re: all the people saying that being gay is easy and accepted these days:

I am a journalist (no, not tabloids and no, not one who trawls Mumsnet for stories to write about so you don’t have to worry about that - I am not that sort of journalist). I occasionally write about LGBT issues. Every time I have written about anything LGBT I have received death threats. There are many people who are far from being OK with homosexuality still. Those threats are from the extreme end of the scale but that I receive them at all is disgusting. I also get endless DMs on Twitter from religious activists who want to pray for my soul or just generally furious members of the public. And that’s before we go into how my own mother won’t accept that I am gay and hasn’t told anyone that I have a girlfriend or that a group of my friends have treated me differently ever since I came out, or all the other tiny but countless ways that people express their disapproval. It is still not easy.

No doubt the young ITV runner has sold his story and that will be appearing soon

Not necessarily. Given that he or someone on his behalf has deleted his twitter, youtube videos, facebook, and that he is being subjected to accusations of blackmailer, ambitious twink etc somehow forgetting that he was a young man hero-worshipping someone 24 years older (and therefore old enough to know better) it could well be the leak came from someone on set but the runner has been under media scrutiny and forced to move jobs and is lying low now.