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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not think 26 is young to be pregnant

190 replies

User54047 · 08/02/2020 18:55

My friend has recently announced that she’s pregnant. I’m delighted for her however she’s getting a lot of comments from people saying she’s too young and that she will regret it when she’s older. She’s recently brought a house with her partner and both have stable jobs.

OP posts:

EveryoneButSam · 09/02/2020 23:59

I was pg with my first dc at 26, had her at 27. 14 years down the line and I don't regret it at all! I had a degree and had started a career which I've managed to progress well, still working part time but have gone from very part time to nearly full time. In a couple of years my last one will be at secondary and I'll still be in my early (ish) 40s. It's true that most of the parents I socialise with who have kids the same age are older but that just serves to make me feel young!

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 10/02/2020 00:09

I was 36 for birth of DD1. Married at 26. I think 26 would be perfect age to be pregnant. Sorry I waited so long. (But DD1 and DD2 are fabulous, so waiting worked out best for our little family!!!)

zeddybrek · 10/02/2020 00:18

I was the youngest mum at my antenatal class out of 11 first time mum's. I was 33 so yes, it's all relative.

AJ1425 · 10/02/2020 00:21

I was 27 when I got pregnant with my first, 28 when she was born, had my second when I was 30. That's not young. I think people are leaving it later to have children nowadays but it doesnt make you too young if you have them sooner.

RonaldMcDonald · 10/02/2020 00:52

I’d be devastated if one of my girls was pregnant at that age
I was 35 and that seemed early tbh

florababy84 · 10/02/2020 01:14

@RonaldMcDonald Devastated is an interesting choice of word. At what point would you start to worry about fertility levels dropping, etc? You say you felt young having a baby at 35, but isn't there more risk after that age that your daughters wouldn't be able to have the number of children that they might want?

Kaykay066 · 10/02/2020 01:23

I was 22 when my eldest son was born
I was also a nurse, with a stable partner & then husband before no 2 came and owned our own house 25 with no 2 & 31&32 with the other 2
Honestly is no ones business how old your friend is. And as for being devastated is that not quite dramatic? I have a lovely 18 year old and a 14 year old at 41 as long as your kids are happy it’s got feck all to do with you when they have kids, as long as they look after them etc

Ferrochrome · 10/02/2020 08:12

Devastated is harsh. I only say this because you are a parent and saying so would potentially impact your relationship with your child. 26 is a full blown adult, enough to have a career, be in a stable relationship or marriage, own your own home, have some savings, have gone to uni, done some travelling etc., (some people are not that fussed with being single and childfree in their 20s or endless nights of pubcrawling).

Your daughter may also decide it is the best time for her to have children as her fertility is optimum and risks are low. Describing it as devastated is something you can't come back from.

ForalltheSaints · 10/02/2020 08:20

Perfectly normal age. I'd only be concerned if I thought the father was someone awful or feckless or both and unlikely to contribute much if any to the child's upbringing. Mind you, that is regardless of age.

phoenixrosehere · 10/02/2020 09:49

I’d be devastated if one of my girls was pregnant at that age
I was 35 and that seemed early tbh

You do realise that women are consider to have a geriatric pregnancy at 35. Higher chance of risks to mum and baby at this age. Men don’t have the same limitations at 35.

At 26, I was married for almost two years, owned are own home, both of us had stable jobs, traveled, etc. We still do with our two children and I’m not 35 yet. My father was looking for me to have children nearer his age of when he had me at 23 and I thought he was absolutely bonkers. I waited until 28. I was one of the last. Many of my cousins and even classmates had their first children in primary school and some with a second at nursery before I even gave birth to my first.

Butchyrestingface · 10/02/2020 18:32

I’d be devastated if one of my girls was pregnant at that age
I was 35 and that seemed early tbh

Were you incredibly immature or something?

Inherdefence · 10/02/2020 18:44

@ButtonandPickle19. I would dispute that. I’m probably exactly her parents generation, I’m 58 and my DC are between 27 and 24. Only 2 of my school friends had DC before they were 30 and when my DC were little nearly all my mum friends and most school gate mums were around the same age as me.

stormciarathegale · 10/02/2020 18:56

I’d be devastated if one of my girls was pregnant at that age

Devastated over that? REALLY? Were you spectacularly immature that you thought 35 was 'too early' to have a child? Devastated that a person well into adulthood has decided to have a child? Fucking hell, imagine if you got some really bad news - a cancer diagnosis or a RTC or a life-limiting illness - you'd not be able to cope.

Enchiladas · 10/02/2020 19:00

I had my first at 30 and my second will be this year at 31 - I have never felt so old lol and kind of wish I met my DH younger (met him at 29!)

lemonysnickett88 · 10/02/2020 19:06

Haha, devastated. Some people really are wrapped in cotton wool.

longwayoff · 10/02/2020 22:31

Elderly Primagravid? Yup. Sounds like the 1970s-80s to me.

mdh2020 · 10/02/2020 22:36

I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business when you start a family. I was 22 when I had my first child and 25 when I had my second. We had a house and could afford our family. By our late forties both our children were through university. Even though my son and his wife started their family later than we did, we were still relatively young and fit grandparents.

dayowl · 10/02/2020 22:38

It isn’t young at all

DearGod1 · 10/02/2020 22:40

@ClinkyMonkey women like you give me hope. 41 and 45 with your babies: legend! I hope it's me soon.

SidsWife · 10/02/2020 22:44

In my area 26 is usually when you’d be having your 3rd or 4th. I had my first at 20 and 2nd at 26.

Bexy1393 · 10/02/2020 22:45

I'm 26 and currently pregnant with baby number 2

Macca84 · 10/02/2020 22:46

I suppose it's dependent upon the person. I work with some ladies that age and they seem soo young to me (though I'm not too much older) - still live with their parents, get their tea made every night, etc. But I also know many that age that are mature and I wouldn't think of them as particularly young.

A girl in my year at school had a baby at 13. THAT was young

MrsKoala · 10/02/2020 23:03

It would have been too young for me. But each to their own. Round here it would be young compared to the other mums. Different areas seem to have an average age. I am 43 and have a 7, 5 and 3yo and i'm one of the younger mums in the groups.

My Mum was 27 and in the 70s that was considered old. When I hadn't had a baby by 30 my grandmother told me I shouldn't think about it now as I was too old and it wouldn't be fair.

JRUIN · 10/02/2020 23:13

16 too young. 36 knocking on a bit. 26 perfect age in my opinion.

DecemberSnow · 10/02/2020 23:15

At 30, You are classed as higher risk because of your age..... So...

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