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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ex asking us to pay half of holiday

97 replies

StormBaby · 06/02/2020 16:20

AIBU in thinking this is the cheekiest thing you've ever heard? We take all the kids in our blended family on holiday. I personally have spent a lot of money on this in the last five years as I'm the main earner. Not a problem at all. Now DHs ex and her new DH wants to take the whole family away on a very expensive long haul holiday, and thinks we will be paying half. I have never heard of anything so ridiculous. I said I'd write her out an invoice for the ones we've had already in that case. And the two we are planning this year. 🤣

OP posts:

Pieceofpurplesky · 06/02/2020 16:58

A friend's ex did something similarly cheeky - the ex asked friend's DH if he could pay for his DS to go on a school trip abroad (whole trip) as he really wanted to go and she couldn't afford. He agreed - only to find out later that her parents had also stumped up the money for the same trip - and she went away for the week with her new man!!!

I know there is no point even asking my ex to contribute to anything - he won't even help with school uniform.

OP is the cheekiest fucker of cheeky fuckery

DuLANGMondeFOREVER · 06/02/2020 17:11

I thought this was going to say ‘Ex asking us to pay half of holiday... child care costs’ as in school holidays, and was fully prepared to say yes, you should be contributing!

But half of their holiday costs? As in, a vacation that they are going on and you are not? Fuck no, they can fuck right off!

Tell them you are ‘sure the kids won’t mind waiting a bit longer for the holiday, that way you can use the extra time to save up’

lowlandLucky · 06/02/2020 17:17

Nearly as bad as my Husbands ex wife who phoned to tell us he would need to put the maintenance payments up because she was pregnant with her new boyfriends baby ! No, she didnt get any extra money

Pumpkinpie1 · 06/02/2020 17:17

I’d do as you said and point out you’ve been doing this for the last 5 years and they have never contributed.
I suspect the kids won’t be going long haul don’t you ? X
I’d make sure you check they have holiday insurance if they do ever go abroad, sounds like common sense is a stranger to them both

Tombliwho · 06/02/2020 17:24

😂 what??! The audacity.

WheresMyChocolate · 06/02/2020 17:35

Your posts are a bit confusing as you talk about non bio kids and them taking 'the whole family' with them. Are they taking just DH's children or are they taking yours too?

BrendasUmbrella · 06/02/2020 17:41

She is a cheeky fucker of the highest order and I hope you tell her in no uncertain terms to do one.

If she's never asked before, isn't it more likely her DH is the cheeky fucker rather than her?

BottleOfJameson · 06/02/2020 17:51

There's two sides to every story but I'm struggling to imagine the other one here. Unless the holiday is actually a compulsory school trip and the ex is going as a volunteer I can't imagine what she's thinking.

Timeforchachachanges · 06/02/2020 17:57

@StormBaby where have they booked? misses entire point of thread

OllyBJolly · 06/02/2020 17:57

XH always offered to pay for one of the DCs for our holidays - totally unasked for. He saw it as benefitting his children so his responsibility to contribute.

I'm not sure I see it as that cheeky although I would have clarified before booking.

OllyBJolly · 06/02/2020 17:59

XH always offered to pay for one of the DCs for our holidays - totally unasked for. He saw it as benefitting his children so his responsibility to contribute.

I'm not sure I see it as that cheeky although I would have clarified before booking.

Timeforchachachanges · 06/02/2020 18:04

@StormBaby where have they booked? misses entire point of thread

Timeforchachachanges · 06/02/2020 18:06

@StormBaby where have they booked? misses entire point of thread

HuskyloverI · 06/02/2020 18:06

The thought of taking 8 kids on holiday, is making me break out into a sweat!

BottleOfJameson · 06/02/2020 18:07

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 06/02/2020 18:15

I think we have the same baby-mama for our step-children! We were asked to pay about £6000 for 2DSD’s to go on holiday with their mum.
I said the same as you, that we take them on holidays with our family that we can afford.
She can take them on holiday with her family that she can afford.
They have the same lifestyle at both houses so this was a spectacular surprise x

steff13 · 06/02/2020 18:24

If she's never asked before, isn't it more likely her DH is the cheeky fucker rather than her?

No, not really; she had the option not to ask. She could have told her husband that's not the way things work with their family, but she apparently chose not to.

steff13 · 06/02/2020 18:25

If she's never asked before, isn't it more likely her DH is the cheeky fucker rather than her?

No, not really; she had the option not to ask. She could have told her husband that's not the way things work with their family, but she apparently chose not to.

Waitingtomove · 06/02/2020 18:30

My DH’s ex has expected a few times that he would pay for their DC to go on holiday with her.

GabsAlot · 06/02/2020 18:33

What crack is she on and where does one get some

steff13 · 06/02/2020 18:36

If she's never asked before, isn't it more likely her DH is the cheeky fucker rather than her?

She had the option not to ask. She could have told to her husband that's not how it works.

steff13 · 06/02/2020 18:36

If she's never asked before, isn't it more likely her DH is the cheeky fucker rather than her?

She had the option not to ask. She could have told to her husband that's not how it works.

GoodnightJude1 · 06/02/2020 18:38

Tell her to piss off.....what a cheek!!!!!

Original poster

StormBaby · 06/02/2020 18:45

@WheresMyChocolate it is confusing and difficult to explain and not out myself lol.
The ex has since had more children.

In amongst our 8 in total we have some non-bios that we have both raised (some of whom belong to said ex wife) that aren't actually 'ours' , yet we still see(and pay to take on holiday). DH has been asked to just pay for his three bios though. Ex wife didn't push it and ask for the non bios to be paid for. 🤣🤣🤣 I suppose she thought that was reasonable.

They want to go to the Caribbean I believe.

OP posts:

MeridianB · 06/02/2020 18:46

Stunning CF-ery but incredibly, I’ve read around half a dozen similar threads on here before on the Step parents board. Some even booked the holiday first.

Off topic, I agree with PP about the idea of taking 8 children on holiday together.

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