Builders requesting drinks

[crazydiamond222]

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

Just to add, I rarely drink hot drinks unless I have a specific visitor round for a brew so it wouldn't be a case of 'make an extra when you normally have one'.

Are they allowed to use the bathroom or do they have to wait until they get home??

My builders have to make do with oat milk because I have stopped buying cows milk ...

I think this thread is a bit disconnected from reality tbh. I don't know anyone who would have builders in for months and be making multiple rounds of tea or coffee a day. For starters, most people are at work themselves! And even when I am around, we are in and out a lot and busy with other stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ Offering refreshments is way down my agenda I'm afraid! But they're welcome to help themselves if they want.

I would offer tea for tradespeople in for a day or two doing short-term work (probably not as regularly as MN would like) but not for weeks or months.

We did. We live in a very small community. Builders here for 8 months in total and we made multiple rounds of teas and coffees throughout the day. Rightly or wrongly the OP imho comes across as if she thinks she is better than the builders.

And if you were at the top of your budget and couldn't afford bloody takeaways and extra food for people you were already paying to do a job? How is it 'pissing people off' by not skivvying for them or providing them with meals on top of the fee they have stated

If someone's not happy with access to loo, fresh water, kettle, tea
coffee ,milk and perhaps some biscuits on top of the money they're being paid that's pretty entitled

I didnt skivvy for my trades, I said if I was here at the house I would buy stuff for them. The demolition team was 4 men iirc, they didnt have a proper loo, they had a loo bowl and a bucket to be filled by the outside tap and carried to the toilet to flush it. I set up a station in the garage with power by a long extension cable from the neighbours. I put a gas heater in the garage too for some warmth. And I took some donuts once and fish and chips twice. This is hardly Ritz hotel quality. It may be decently paid, its bloody hard work though.
The plasterer got a couple of ice creams out of me. And the same tea station cos he like his radio on for company (this using the only working socket in the house. He only drank water on my job anyway probably because it was really really warm.
If your spending multiple thousands on a big building job, it seems really tight to then say I'm all out of the 20quid it cost me to get yous fish and chips this afternoon. Or really sorry I know your melting, but an ice cream is a pound.

Haven't read the whole thread, but whenever I have tradesmen in for more than a day or two then I am clear.

I show them the kettle, leave out cups, coffee, milk, sugar and tea bags, a couple of packets of plain biscuits - show them where stuff is and tell them to help themselves.
Better for them, and better for me.
They feel more relaxed and I don't have to make any tea and coffee.

Rightly or wrongly the OP imho comes across as if she thinks she is better than the builders.

But it's not snobby or coming across as better than to expect your client to wait on you and make you hot drinks (and even buy you meals from some of the posts on here)?

Also but you have to be careful on the other side of things - if you come across as too subservient or overly keen, then some trades will take advantage of that and/or take the mickey a bit. (I have done this and been there).

As it happens, the best builders I had were utter professionals and they never expected any drinks or biscuits, they came ready with their own kettle, mugs, tea, coffee etc right from the start and were extremely courteous and respectful. And tidy.

Suspect this point has been made already, but if you want them to do the best they can for you (not just the minimum they can realistically get away with) then keep them well supplied and be nice to them.... A little goes a long way :-)

I certainly don't think I'm better than them but I'm also paying for them to do a job, they aren't here out of the goodness of their hearts. I think it's adequate to ensure they have access to facilities, but I'm not going to be making multiple rounds of tea and coffee for months on end. If that's rude then so be it, I'll live with being rude on this occasion!

I mean the luxury of actually being able to do this without interruption

What a weird point of view.

If your spending multiple thousands on a big building job, it seems really tight to then say I'm all out of the 20quid it cost me to get yous fish and chips this afternoon. Or really sorry I know your melting, but an ice cream is a pound.

Wow, that might be the top of your budget and it's not 'tight' to be spending even more on the top of the fee you're already paying if you haven't got it spare, or to expect it on top of your fee. If you've got money to spunk on it, fair enough, but it's hardly being a tight cunt not to be providing bloody meals on top of everything else.

Providing a station seems entirely suitable. In this case, they didn't wan the station, they wanted the OP to make the drinks.

Personally, I'd have just set up a station and showed them where it is and make sure it's topped up.

Yup, I agree DesLynamsMoustache the idea that there will be someone at home all day in most households - especially one able to pay for bulding work - is unrealistic. In most cases where there is, they'll be working too.

Enjoy your mat leave OP.

I’m going to be honest - there is just something about making hot drinks for males that really grates with me. I think it’s the fact that in more sexist environments this is expected of women.

However as I’ve said above, I do make them a tea in the morning (and when I’m having one) but leave the kettle and biscuits for the rest of the time.

As others have said, my boss doesn’t come around offering everyone tea and coffee throughout the day at my work!

@Blackandgreenteas Yes, that's a good point. Would they have asked a man for a cup of tea? Are men expected to keep trotting out cups of tea and coffee?

I’ve had endless tradespeople in my house in the last 6 months and happily make multiple drinks per day for them. I do so as good tradespeople are difficult to find and I’ll more than likely want them to come back for more work.

There has only been one occasion where I have felt they have been cheeky and that is when they said “ I know we’ve only been here half an hour but we like a drink at 10.30 and again at 1”. The same person went into my kitchen after we popped out to the shop and helped themselves ( and chipped the canister ) even though a drink was made before we left. Suffice to say they were not allowed to come back.

I don't mind offering one if I am making for myself, but always make it very clear that I expect them to help themselves. I am generous with biscuits and cake, and always try to remember to get in milk and sugar, which we would not normally have in the house. I did draw the line when one requested a particular artificial sweetener once thought and suggested he would be better bringing some.

I’m going to be honest - there is just something about making hot drinks for males that really grates with me

I would make the odd cup of tea for a tradesman, but can't see how that is sexist.
Of the many, many tradespeople I have employed over the years one has yet to be a woman. I am not commenting on the reasons why, I would be as happy to employ someone of either sex, and I would be as happy to make either of them some tea.
Why is that sexist?

I’m with you OP. I think it’s really cheeky. Rich people have the rental toilets in the yard when they have builders in. I’m sure the woman of the house isn’t expected to do the catering in these cases either.

So you made them drinks initially, even a bacon sandwich then whinge when they ask for drinks?

You're sending out mixed messages! Either you do as some here have done and offer a quick cuppa at the beginning of the day then have a 'help yourself' rule or you run around after them. They're builders not mind readers.

When we had builders in I was working from home. I made a first drink, then had a 'help yourself' rule. If I was making myself a drink I'd offer them one, otherwise they looked after themselves. Most had a flask but freshly made tea tastes a lot better. I set up a kettle in the garage - they bought their own milk.

When I was rushed and told them I'd have my head down because of a deadline one day, one of the builders popped his head round the door and asked if I wanted a cuppa. A few weeks later DS was on school holidays (he was only 5 years old at the time) and I came down with flu-like symptoms. DH was working away. The plasterer made me and DS a sandwich and kept me going with hot drinks. I was so grateful.

Like I said, they're not mind readers so either set the rules or expect interruptions.

How can you not have time to make a cup of tea? Do you not eat or drink all day? What if you had other children to look after as well? You need to sort your routine out.

Thanks for all your input. I am a bit surprised how strong opinions are on this.
I have a good relationship with the builders and will continue to provide a drink in the morning and the occasional bacon sandwich which I feel is a decent and reasonable thing to do.

I will be setting up a coffee, tea biscuit station in the garage even though the builders say they don't want it. It is a big job with lots of different builders (sometimes 6 on site) so some may use it.

To those that say a 3 month old is easy I would say it really depends on the 3 month old. He is mainly in a sling but I am not going to put him at risk by walking round a building site with him.

We always set a little station up, usually a portable urn instead of a kettle so it’s ready to go (got it when dp was redoing half the house so it meant electrics could be off for hours). I fed the roofers soup too lol.. partially because I’d made enough lentil to feed a small army and realised the tubs had been hijacked n not returned so it was bin or eat.

We expect water, toilets n usually a kettle at work.. I’d rather give n take a little than wash piss off the outside walls n have a bin filled with takeaway cups.

Oh and to the people who asked 'would they expect a man to make a cuppa' - my DH makes drinks for people who come to service the boiler or fix the washing machine. It's courtesy, nothing to do with being a man or woman.