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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
Greggers2017 · 06/02/2020 16:36

You have one small baby and can't find time to make a cup of tea?
I'm on mat leave with my 4th baby and must say the amount of free time I have I'm bored. When she's awake we play or go to groups but when she's sleeping I'm finding things to do to fill my time.

GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 16:37

You've offered a drinks station which they've refused so it looks like they want you to make them for them. I'd set one up anyway and leave them to it. I don't drink any hot drinks and it hasn't killed me. I used to go to people's houses and do manual labour and managed to take my own food and drinks. You're paying them for their work, it isn't like they're doing it out of the goodness of their heart.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 06/02/2020 16:39

I do builders a little drinks station.......well a tray with a packet of biscuits on and teabags etc then tell them to crack on and make themselves a brew when they like.

TatianaLarina · 06/02/2020 16:39

Here we have a boxes for ‘builder’s tea’ and biscuits.

They can help themselves any time during the day and I offer a couple of times a day myself. Very often they bring their own.

I don’t know why a baby would preclude making tea.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/02/2020 16:40

People, who don’t provide drinks are apparently in the trade known as dry houses. Yabu. A quick drink after an hour of them being arriving if you’re around and one in the afternoon as a minimum, then a drinks station for in between. They can choose whether or not to use this. Kettle, tea, coffee, sugar and milk. Biscuits would be good too.

BlueHarry · 06/02/2020 16:40

I wonder would the builder have asked if he’d seen your husband at the window instead?

I really don't think it's a sexist thing. At least, I'm pretty sure my male dp has been asked for (and definitely has offered) a drink by (to) trades people in our house before.

The sexist part, in my experience, usually comes when it's time to start talking 'technical'. The ones who act like they have to run everything through the man of the house, and who ask to speak to him when I am right there and they want to explain/ask something, don't get invited back the next time we need work.

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 16:41

Yes, you, woman, should be ashamed you're not making time to make hot drinks for people you're paying a bomb to provide a service. You'd think people go into such professions at gunpoint for no remuneration the way some people carry on about how hard done by they all are.

AhhARadoxBath · 06/02/2020 16:42

Yabu.
I'd make them. I'm. Sure even with a baby you can spare 3 mins to make some tea a few times a day.. And that's coming from someone with a newborn and toddler
No different to going to toilet, making lunch, doing some washing etc

Bananabixfloof · 06/02/2020 16:44

good tradies are hard to find
This with bloody bells on.
If you find a good tradie do your best to keep them. If that means a couple of teas a day and a packet of biscuits a week then just do that.
We had this whole house replumbed, rewired, replastered, everything. It took a year, for weeks there was only one working socket, and an outside tap and just the toilet bowl, no flush. Did we just say ah fuck it, they will just have to go thirsty and shit in the garden? No we found a way around. The plasterer worked in one of the hottest summers ever, inside the house. He needed liquid, he needed a loo.
The demolition team worked through a cold winter, no heat in the house and no power to provide heat, we found a way to let them warm up and provide hot drinks. If I was at the house I brought variously, ice cream, bacon sandwiches, fish and chips biscuits, etc.
You dont piss off the people who are doing work on your house. And a baby is no reason to not make a drink or set up a station for them after they have started.

Lipperfromchipper · 06/02/2020 16:44

When we built our house we lived on site, to be honest I was gone all day most day’s but the days I was in I would ask...but they always had their own flasks and lunch so I really think they should be prepared for you to be gone and not relying on you for hot drinks!

BumbleBree · 06/02/2020 16:45

I’m not meaning luxury as in how wonderful a time it must be Confused I mean the luxury of actually being able to do this without interruption so much so that two minutes without the baby being held is a massive problem. As I said it would be a different story if there were other children there needing looked after, taken to the toilet, needing lunch made. So in that sense, yes, it is a luxury.

lottiegarbanzo · 06/02/2020 16:47

If they're working outside and have a portaloo, presumably they don't have independent access to your house. There's no reasonable expectation of anyone being at home; all adults could be out at work.

Sooo, they need everything to be accessible from outside. Tea station in the garage sounds perfect. If they refused that in favour of flasks, more fool them!

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 16:48

If I was at the house I brought variously, ice cream, bacon sandwiches, fish and chips biscuits, etc.
You dont piss off the people who are doing work on your house.

And if you were at the top of your budget and couldn't afford bloody takeaways and extra food for people you were already paying to do a job? How is it 'pissing people off' by not skivvying for them or providing them with meals on top of the fee they have stated?

If someone's not happy with access to loo, fresh water, kettle, tea, coffee ,milk and perhaps some biscuits on top of the money they're being paid that's pretty entitled.

FedUpWithItAllWeep · 06/02/2020 16:49

I do find it odd that there seems to be this unwritten rule that you must ply trades people with hot drinks etc when in every other job you usually get given access to facilities and make your own. Cant imagine going up to my CEO and asking them to make me drinks or else I wont do my job properly..

Out of politness I would make some drinks but otherwise I'd give them the facilities to make their own. Its just coincidence that your home at the moment, you could easily be working during the day so they would have to make their own. Just set up the tea station in the garage and point them in that direction next time (but throw in some biscuits cause its cheap and little effort!)

MummytoCSJH · 06/02/2020 16:50

Every day for 4 months? No thanks.

What has the fact they're working on her property got to do with anything? Assuming that they aren't working for free, of course...

Thinkingabout1t · 06/02/2020 16:50

I once asked my SIL if she offered biscuits when she made builders a cup of tea, and she said "You make tea? for builders??????". (That's a No, then ...)

So I was feeling quite smug about offering drinks on arrival and whenever I'm making one for myself, and putting out biscuits if I've remembered to buy any. But now I am humbled by those of you who make bacon sandwiches.

Noconceptofnormal · 06/02/2020 16:50

I'm obviously not very friendly compared to most people on here but my opinion is that for jobs that go on longer than a day they should make their own provision.

I'm happy to provide tea coffee milk, sugar biscuits but not in my kitchen and I don't want builders chit chatting to me all day as I'm usually pretty busy.

I think it was rude of them to ask. Builders I've worked with provide their own kettle and provisions, the letting is always grubby and covered I dust.

frillyfarmer · 06/02/2020 16:50

YABU and honestly your mat leave will be fucking hard work if you thinking brewing up with a 3 month old is a chore. Biscuit

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 16:51

If you can't make them drinks then at least make them a couple of flasks when they arrive and then they have got several drinks.

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 06/02/2020 16:51

Looking after one baby isn’t that hard.
Just buy a jug and fill it up with juice and some biscuits at leave it all out at the start of the day for them.

Oulu · 06/02/2020 16:51

You really are going to have to accept that if the builders (or anyone) walk past your windows they are allowed to look in. If you don't like it, draw the curtains.

Vulpine · 06/02/2020 16:52

Why do they need hot drinks every 90 mins

QuietCrotchgoblins · 06/02/2020 16:53

Totally different having builders in the house long term when you have a small baby too. We did a big house extension with a 3 month old and a toddler and offered use of the kettle, cups etc and supplied coffee/ tea/ biscuits. I didn't often make them though and I would think it cheeky if asked. Just because you are on mat leave doesn't make you thier skivvy! I wouldn't constantly make tea for colleagues at work either. For the record, I got on really well with the builders and they did a great job. It's ok to have boundaries!

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 06/02/2020 16:54

I make the first drink when they arrive and then tell them to help themselves thereafter.

Alsohuman · 06/02/2020 16:54

The quality of the job in my experience is in direct proportion to the number of drinks made and biscuits offered.