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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
Peapod29 · 06/02/2020 17:14

Why can’t they help themselves? It’s a builders prerogative to have as much tea or coffee as they like!

cheesemongery · 06/02/2020 17:15

You are hilarious in your disaster projecting of what could have happened, your description of what did happen and your idea that playing with a 3 month old (was it monopoly?) can not be interrupted as it's upsetting for 3 month old. Bless you

TheGreatWave · 06/02/2020 17:15

You should have done what we did. Get the neighbours to do the big jobs then they just go to their own houses.

DesLynamsMoustache · 06/02/2020 17:17

But this isn't about making a drink for someone who has come for a day. They're building an extension so are going be there for presumably quite a while. Some people have had them on site for months. That's totally different to offering someone a cup of tea when they're popping in once for a couple of hours.

LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 17:18

That's what i would do, set up the little drink station and I bet they will use it. Ohh and leave some nice biscuits for them too :)

DesLynamsMoustache · 06/02/2020 17:20

I will happily offer someone a cup of tea when they come to do a job that takes a few hours or a day or two. But I won't be doing it multiple times a day for two solid months when we get our extension build later this year! Not a chance.

Lipperfromchipper · 06/02/2020 17:22

The quality of the job in my experience is in direct proportion to the number of drinks made and biscuits offered

Good god, if I had known that I would have just kept my 250k and gave up work to give my builders more tea and biscuits...Confused

BottleOfJameson · 06/02/2020 17:24

I would have left stuff out for them and had them help themselves.

DesLynamsMoustache · 06/02/2020 17:25

And I also think it's pretty disgusting for posters to make fun or mock a new mother who, understandably, didn't want to leave her tiny baby when he was upset. Don't we always say on here that not everyone finds those first few months easy and that's normal? But then on threads like these, all the 'Well I'm on mat leave with my fifth child and I have LOADS of time' or 'Ooh you're in for a shock' posters pop out of the woodwork. For a site for mothers, it's entirely unhelpful. Not everyone finds the days easy and not everyone has a happy, contented baby or is able to balance things from the start. It made the OP feel stressed and under pressure and that's what matters.

Blackandgreenteas · 06/02/2020 17:26

speakout - I’m not saying it is sexist but that it grates because it reminds me of sexist environments. But as I said I do make them tea just not on tap!

cavabiensepasser · 06/02/2020 17:27

Oh look, a naice MC mumsnetter who's never done a day of manual labour begruding workers a brew.

Aren't you fucking embarrassed to even post this, OP?

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 06/02/2020 17:29

I suspect a lot of people replying are not having builders for long term projects, is this the case?

We were living on site in a small cottage while out house was being built (so, longer project than 4 months). I had 2 children under 3 and was 8-9 months pregnant. (We moved into the new house when he was 5 months.

I offered tea regularly. I sometimes made sandwiches, sometimes made sausages and chips etc.

I found your account rather amusing to be honest. Like a comedy of errors!!!

Molly2017 · 06/02/2020 17:29

“leaving my son on the playmat getting upset”
added for dramatic effect.

OP you should definitely sell this one to the daily mail. I bet your sad face is a 10 out of 10.

frillyfarmer · 06/02/2020 17:29

Would they have asked a man for a cup of tea? Are men expected to keep trotting out cups of tea and coffee?
*
My husband does not trot, but he will happily make any tradesman a cup of coffee. Just because he has a cock, doesn't prevent him from making a brew, what an utterly weird view to have in 2020.

DesLynamsMoustache · 06/02/2020 17:29

I feel sorry for our builders now. They'll get a kettle, milk and some biscuits and that's their lot Grin

TheDarkPassenger · 06/02/2020 17:30

Well they be fucked here cos me and oh would be off to work. They’d have to make their own, I’m not a bloody waitress anyway!
I take my own drink to work and wouldn’t ever walk in a clients home and bloody tell to make me a cuppa!

DesLynamsMoustache · 06/02/2020 17:30

@frillyfarmer It's not about whether he would do it. It's about whether he would be asked...

Yeahnah2020 · 06/02/2020 17:31

He was rude. If you wanted to offer drinks then fine, but it isn’t assumed. Most builders I know either take a thermos or have their own jug etc.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/02/2020 17:31

Would they have asked a man for a cup of tea? Are men expected to keep trotting out cups of tea and coffee

This is SO true though - no way would they have asked the OP’s dh - I’d bet my life on it!

OfMe · 06/02/2020 17:31

We've got some builders in at the moment, and I make them a cuppa first thing and say 'do help yourself to the tea and coffee' and I leave it all out on the side for them. I work, have two SEND children, and two older ones (admittedly not at home), but yeah, YABU a bit.

OhGinger · 06/02/2020 17:35

I can't believe people are so tight. 'they could bring a thermos', 'im not running around after men', 'they are getting paid'.

Surely it's just common decency/politeness to offer a warm drink to someone working in/on your home? I'd feel uncomfortable leaving someone outside all day without offering.

Yes they can bring a flask but is it really such a hardship to be a nice person?

I work in an office. They supply me with a kettle, tea, coffee, milk, their toilet etc... I don't see why it's any different.

I suspect they refused the tea station as they could sense the OPs attitude as in her post here.

It's a brew for godsake, they aren't asking you get up on the scaffolding and give them a hand.

Defaultuser · 06/02/2020 17:36

I'm going to go against the grain and say I think it was cheeky! The OP has been making them drinks and bacon rolls, but why does it have to be all day every day? What if she was out? Her baby's only 3 months, they are needy at that stage. Quite often when I've had tradesmen in I've offered tea and biscuits but they've had their own.

OhGinger · 06/02/2020 17:36

If you wanted to offer drinks then fine, but it isn’t assumed

He didn't assume. He asked. I'm guessing he didn't go up to the window and go oi love, get the kettle on. I'm sure he much more likely asked if he could have a cup of tea.

Bananabixfloof · 06/02/2020 17:37

Not everyone finds the days easy and not everyone has a happy
contented baby or is able to balance things from the start. It made the OP feel stressed and under pressure and that's what matters
Fair enough, a very good work around is when you know trades will be outside your house every day for months, you set up a station for them. You tell them how to contact you if anything needs replenishing (like put a note through the letterbox or text this number) or you tell them your busy with a baby, don't want disturbing or please leave me alone, whatever works for you. And that's it.
You dont make a drama out of it. You also dont feed them if you dont want to obviously. But people are entitled to drinks and toilets. It's the bare minimum.

NannyOggsStripedSocks · 06/02/2020 17:37

I am with you on this, I find it quite awkward when tradies are in, am never sure if I can just have a drink or a snack without feeling guilty about not offering something. I would suggest leaving them the kettle, biccies, etc and saying to help themselves