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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 07/02/2020 16:34

No they dont. I'll wager men at home dont.

My husband offers them tea and coffee, and then proceeds to make the strongest espresso possible, he also makes them green tea, because that what's in the house, and he's instructed not to touch my tea stash.

I can't be bothered to offer anything, but I'm sure the builders prefer my approach to his.

Grin
Kirkman · 07/02/2020 16:36

I'll wager men at home dont.

I'll take that bet. I dont know any man who doesnt make a brew when people are round. Wether there for work or not.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 16:38

I absolutely think men would offer, of course. It's being asked through the day that I imagine wouldn't happen.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 16:39

The difference is between the normal offering of a brew and being "on call" all day as a char woman

Vulpine · 07/02/2020 16:40

Glittery one - if it only takes 2 minutes why cant they can do it themselves?

smotheroffive · 07/02/2020 16:49

Men, take responsibility for your own needs and stop expecting women to prempt them and then get flouncy or shitting when they won't comply. God you naughty women! Probably thrown a few lesbian feminist slanders in there too if youre not considered a good little woman who's not allow to refuse to dance to the 'needs' of a man!

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 07/02/2020 17:09

@Kirkman I agree, my DH absolutely would be making them a brew. It's just being polite.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/02/2020 17:14

@savethecat - I reckon my dh is better at remembering to offer drinks than I am, and twice, when we’ve moved house, he’s gone and got fish and chips for the removal men.

Honestyisalwaysthebestpolicy · 07/02/2020 17:34

I always offer constant drinks etc when anyone is working in my house. That aside though you need to wean your son off needing you constantly. It’s not healthy for him or you to be held/amused constantly. You do know that it doesn’t hurt to me to cry for a bit. It will be hrs at first, but trust me for your sanity you have to do it. I have had 2 kids who are much older now and also work as a childminder and know when a child has been held constantly as they do not settle at all. If you plan to continue as you are I do hope you don’t plan to use childcare as they won’t hold him constantly so you are just setting him up to be upset later.

It’s so tempting to just cuddle them all the time as they are your baby, I understand that. Just remember that it is your job to help them grow/develop and not just keep them close to you.

greeneyedlulu · 07/02/2020 17:36

Oh my god you sound horribly precious!

Whyhaveidonethis · 07/02/2020 17:36

Omg is this your PFB? Seriously make them a cup of tea or let them use the kettle. Ffs

Furfockssake · 07/02/2020 17:40

Just leave them a kettle and they can sort themselves out - like in every other job on the planet. Absolutely no need for you to look after them unless you really feel like you want to.

avamiah · 07/02/2020 17:42

It only takes a couple of minutes to make drinks .
What’s the big problem .

mylifestory · 07/02/2020 17:44

I always make the first one and tell them if I'm not there when they want another they can come in and help themselves so I leave the tea, coffee, bits out and the milk is obs in the fridge!

PatellarTendonitis · 07/02/2020 17:44

Yes, OP, you need to wean your newborn child off you, learn to distance your son from you, because you need to see to de menz!

Honestly op, everyone offers their builders drinks as and when through the day if they're home.

Nope, plenty have work to do/work from home, sleeping during the day as work nights or into the evening, don't drink hot drinks at all or have them in their homes, all sorts.

They're being paid to do a job. They're not being paid to tell their employer they need to be made a drink. Cheeky AF! Can imagine how that would go down in most other professions, plenty of which are also manual.

Jack80 · 07/02/2020 17:44

I would put a spare kettle and other supplies in the garage so they dont bother you

Frazzaboo · 07/02/2020 17:54

Blimey, if they were working alone, they would not ask you and you are not obliged to do so. A lot of us work hard and don't expect to be catered for, nor have the time for a tea break!

sliceoflife · 07/02/2020 17:55

I have builders, joiner, electrician and plumber in the house for major bathrooms/ bedroom remodelling.
We set them up with a tray of cups, kettle, tea, coffee and biscuits on day one. We provide fresh milk daily.
As I was off today I made them fresh cream scones this afternoon which went down well. Look after your trades men and they will look after you.
Our builder is semi retired but will work for us as we look after him. Builder and labourer both got homemade Christmas cakes when they did our roof. Bottle of whisky when they finished our extension.
We live in a village, many tradesmen end their week in the pub on a Friday. Word gets round who are good to work for and who to avoid.
Good tradesmen are hard to fine, when you find some, do what you can to keep them.

ginandnappies · 07/02/2020 17:58

Wow you sound like a delight! A 3 month old?! You can leave them in the Pram or high chair for 5 mins with a toy whilst you make tea?

Russellbrandshair · 07/02/2020 17:59

Look after your trades men and they will look after you.

Are you saying that the people who have been ripped off by dodgy builders are at fault because they didn’t buy them cakes or make scones for them? That’s an awful victim blaming attitude.
If a builder does shoddy work it’s because HE is a shoddy unethical builder. It has nothing whatsoever to do with not having enough fcking tea made for him.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/02/2020 18:00

I've just dropped one of my minded kids off at home. Should have asked his dad to make me a coffee.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 07/02/2020 18:01

It’s never ok to ask a mum of a 3 month old to make drinks for you!

🙄

MimiLaRue · 07/02/2020 18:05

Word gets round who are good to work for and who to avoid

Work men care about being paid well, and on time. They aren't going to turn down jobs because they didnt get a Christmas cake made for them. If you ran any business in such a fashion you'd fail before the end of the first year lol

sunshine11 · 07/02/2020 18:05

They’re outside and it’s bloody cold. Plus they’ll be paying paid a crappy daily rate. Is a few cups of tea a day too much to ask? I don’t think so, especially if you’re making yourself one.

We always just make extra cuppas each time we make one ourselves, it’s not hard to do!

Straycats · 07/02/2020 18:06

We had builders who brought their own kettle, tea, coffee, milk and food including vacuum. When it progressed whereby I could start painting walls and woodwork they ended up making me, teas as I didn’t stop for breaks (4 kids and school runs).
Had assumed this was the norm for builders to sort themselves out and clean after themselves- missed them terribly when they left as we all got on well (10 plus months of them being at ours).