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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
AmazingGreats · 07/02/2020 13:28

I offer whenever I'm making one. If it's a quick job then I probably wouldn't (like 30-45 minutes max) but would even then if I was making one. In a 4 month job I would say it's definitely an issue you need to deal with, either you set up a tray and kettle for their use, offer them fairly regularly, or accept that they will spend a fair amount of their working day going to the nearest McDonalds drive though or whatever (and thinking that your a bit odd and ill mannered). I am never too busy with my 3 kids to not be able to put the kettle on. Ok, maybe if they all had norovirus and I was elbow deep in bodily fluids, but thankfully that doesn't happen very often.

smotheroffive · 07/02/2020 13:29

How is it.cheeky to expect full grown men who work outside all day every day of the year in all weathers to be able to keep themselves in food and drink whilst they go about their business of work which they charge very well for?

They're not children, they can't.sureoynleave home without supplies to keep themselves in hot drinks each day??

I wouldn't leave home without a flask of at least bioling water to make up something, and food.

If I was a builder Id have one of those car lighter water boiling probes, so I could have a break from work inside a car.out of the elements (in my diety gear) a boiking hot brew, and whatever food Id brought to snack on.

I wouldn't assume someone was responsible for my daily needs, thats a male thing, especially significant given their petulant response to ...heres the stuff ...help yourself. They don't want to sort themselves out, some men are like that and its shit
They expect women to make tea.
Yadnbu op

BossAssBitch · 07/02/2020 13:58

Oh god yet another mean spirited post. This place is full of them lately Hmm

KarmaStar · 07/02/2020 13:59

I think it was cheeky to ask and unprofessional.
I always offer drinks every two to three hours but would be a bit taken aback to be asked out of the blue.
Maybe you've had a very easy going friendly thing going on and he thought you wouldn't mind?only reason I could think of that he would ask like that.other than being cheeky of course😀

savethecat · 07/02/2020 14:02

I wish someone would offer me drinks every few hours at work!

IntermittentParps · 07/02/2020 14:08

Maybe their wives have to make a flask for them if OP won’t do it!
Yes, imagine the men having to lower themselves to making their own...

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/02/2020 14:25

Calm yourself down. I think it’s cheeky to not give people a drink when they’re working 10 hours a day outside! Get a grip woman

Yes get a grip woman. You clearly have nothing better to do with your time, get those poor hard working men tea and coffee at least every couple of hours. You are failing your womanly duties, you hysterical little lady!

cologne4711 · 07/02/2020 14:49

I think it’s cheeky to not give people a drink when they’re working 10 hours a day outside

Why can't they bring their own drinks? Or go off to the local McDonalds, as a pp has said? Or nip home for lunch if they are very local.

They're not doing you a favour in your garden or home, they're being paid to do a job.

Agree with a pp who says they only expect it from a woman. If my DH was home I bet they wouldn't ask. To be honest they don't ask, I've only known one chap ask recently (and I did make him a cup of tea).

My mum had a job done recently and she just left the tea/coffee/sugar/biscuits next to the kettle with a jug of milk and said help yourself. Probably the best option.

NoSauce · 07/02/2020 15:16

We’ve had lots of builders over the last few years doing various work. I haven’t been at their beck and call brewing up for them. I always supply a kettle, mugs, tea and coffee, biscuits for them to help themselves.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 15:20

Just because you are at home doesn't mean you are at the builders' beck n call all day. How trapped would you feel?? What if you wanted to go for a shower or a nap or were working from home or, indeed, with your baby?

Anyone else going to work takes their packed lunch and drinks, it isn't hard. Offer a cup on arrival and if you are making one, as a courtesy of course, but it's not waitress service. I find this absolutely bizarre.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 15:22

And yes, my DH works outside all day and makes his own, He has a flask and takes those little cappuccino sachets with him as well.

FarTooSkinny · 07/02/2020 15:29

Well done OP, getting on the wrong side of the builders on the first day of a 4 month job. That'll bode well when it comes to the snagging

EngagedAgain · 07/02/2020 15:30

What about builders working on building sites? They might have a cabin or something, but I bet the majority would bring their own, as they wouldn't want to get roped into to cleaning up the mess!

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 07/02/2020 15:33

DH is an ex decorator. It's polite to offer drinks. It's impolite for them to ask.

NoSauce · 07/02/2020 15:40

FarTooSkinny what would the poor menz do the OP was out at work all day? Shock horror they’d have to sort their own drink out. They can’t expect the OP to keep running out with trays of tea for the next four months, surely?

newmumwithquestions · 07/02/2020 15:46

I point to the kettle and make sure there’s milk/sugar in. I usually make the first one for a tradesperson and maybe one if I’m in and making one anyway which isn’t that often.
I sometimes buy biscuits but this isn’t a given. I made sandwiches once but that was exceptional!
I think it’s cheeky to ask. Our plasterer used to bring his own flask of tea so usually refused anyway.

Our window cleaner used to ask for tea. I resented it as he was only there for 30 mins. I made him one the first time as I was going to put the kettle on anyway but refused the next time he asked as I was busy. He kept asking me; but never DH. I stopped using him.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 15:48

I would find it incredibly annoying as I work at home/ I hate being interrupted in the middle of something/

Emmelina · 07/02/2020 15:48

Surely it’s ‘being a polite host’ to stick your head out of the door when you’ve gone to the kitchen to make yourself a drink and shout, “I’m making a brew, you want one?” to the builders outside in the rain and barely above freezing temperatures? It’s no more effort if you’re filling the kettle anyway.

savethecat · 07/02/2020 15:59

It very much depends on the manner of the person asking too. I once had one really irritating fellow walk past my kitchen window saying "put the kettle on" as I was finishing tidying up for the morning, ready to sit down and work. It was just the way he said it, so disrespectful, sexist and grating.
He did it a few more times ...I'd be writing and he would bang on the window "bit slow with the teas, 2 sugars please". God, he was horrible.

Other people, lovely. There was another man who I made full lunches for every day as he was so nice.

Herringbone31 · 07/02/2020 15:59

Good builders are like a needle in a haystack!

If they want test. I’d either make tea. It set up a tea station. If they don’t want to use it. Fair enough. But I’d want to keep them on my side. Otherwise they could do a shoddy job.

Al people deserve respect. Even if it is a drink once a day!

savethecat · 07/02/2020 16:00

Oh yes, and he used to stand at the window putting his arms ina "T" position at me.

shortytrekker · 07/02/2020 16:07

Honestly op, everyone offers their builders drinks as and when through the day if they're home.

NoSauce · 07/02/2020 16:11

Honestly op, everyone offers their builders drinks as and when through the day if they're home

No they don’t!

savethecat · 07/02/2020 16:14

No they dont. I'll wager men at home dont.

smotheroffive · 07/02/2020 16:22

So, according to some, you are a a bad hysterical little lady failing in your womanning duties if you fail to be on call for tea and coffee making duties.

Everyone who works in offices can manage to make their own tea and coffee! Male and female. We always knew women could manage that

A woman in a house doesn't have to feel that she risks the quality of the build shes paying for unless she makes the builders' tea ffs!