Builders requesting drinks

[crazydiamond222]

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

I have had builders, plumbers, blinds fitters, decorators, groundsworkers, gasmen, driveway people, roofers etc here for over 18mths. By 8am there are vans all over our drive and field. Built a 5bed house for my mum, a gigantic barn, a studio for my work, various other bits and it’s an ongoing thing so they will be here for probably another 6mths to a year.
I have a 4yr old and am 8mths pregnant but don’t mind making teas and coffees for them! I am of the mind that if they stop to make it, that’s 5 minutes extra, every time they have a cup, that they could be working and getting that job done!
10 cups a day is 50 minutes and that’s a lot of time to pay them to just make their own teas!
Don’t be precious, it’s bloody hard work doing what they are doing and it is freezing cold right now.
If you really don’t want to make every cup, and don’t care if they are wasting time making them then supply them with a cheap kettle, mug each and milk, teabags and coffee. Just go and collect the dirty cups at the end of the day and wash them out and put the milk back in the fridge.
I wouldn’t do them food again though - but teas and coffees are normal!

I’ve had builders renovating our house on and off for about 10 years! Kids were v young then.
I explain that I work from home, don’t have time to make them a cuppa, and also that I usually drink water in the day. (So I hardly think about putting the kettle on) I show them where the kettle is and tea coffee etc and offer them to help themselves.
One big renovation I put a kettle, teabags etc in one of our outside sheds so they could make a brew.
Appreciate that we all need a tea/coffee etc, but when I’m am paying them to work for me that doesn’t mean I have to be available to make their beverages!!
You concentrate on you and DS, let them make a cuppa!
Oh and I have never had builders request I make them a cuppa, that does sound cheeky.
You are paying them to do a job, not to be their waitress!
YANBU

Not only are YBTU but you're also being incredibly precious.

Your 3 month old can't possibly be keeping you THAT busy and actually it sounds like you are using him as an emotive excuse for sympathy.

They wanted a cup of tea, what were they supposed to do? At least they didn't tramp through your house.

No offence but you are going to have to get through the next 20 years DS life and will have to work, run a household, navigate illness, deal with schools, appointments and god knows what else so if you can't deal with a couple of builders when you literally have little else to do all day you might want a little word with yourself.

You're clearly emotional (probs a bit of embarrassment because of the fall and I dare say it hurt) and if you are really that upset then I suspect something else is underlying that you are not addressing ? Going back to work blues or a bit of PND.

In the mean time, go to Tesco and buy a cheap kettle. Fill it up in the morning and leave some milk, tea, sugar and biscuits for them.

I thought it was an unwritten law that you make builders/workmen drinks every hour or two?

On a related note, a nice ring sling would allow you to get various things done without leaving your baby to cry on the mat.

I always make any workmen brews, even the man who comes to service the boiler and is only here for 15 minutes. When we had the kitchen done (6 weeks in total) I made them brews and bacon butties. I really do think if you treat them well they do the same for you in return. When the kitchen fitters had to work late one night they went to the chippy and bought me fish and chips. If I ever have any problems with the plumbing, the boiler man will come straight round and have a look for me. The kitchen designer gave me a set of pans, quite a while after he'd finished the kitchen. And a year later I broke one of the lights in the kitchen, gave him a call and he said he'd try and find one for me, which he did and brought it round free of charge. I believe if you're nice to people they'll be nice back. That doesn't mean that they won't still do you a good job if you're not nice, but I think they're quicker/more eager to help if you've treated them well

Not only are YBTU but you're also being incredibly precious.

Your 3 month old can't possibly be keeping you THAT busy and actually it sounds like you are using him as an emotive excuse for sympathy.*

This really. How do you think people cope with a 3 months old and another child etc?

Manual labor is tough. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Asking for a few hot drinks when on site isn't unreasonable. I work (when working) at home, so of a neighbour is having work done and not there I'll always make sure the workers know they can knock on for a brew if they don't want to mess up someone's kitchen with their muddy boots.

In fairness, I think that the skills and shortcuts you learn with your first child help you cope better with subsequent babies - I certainly found that experience meant I was more relaxed and found dealing with a little baby much easier with ds2 and ds3.

Jesus Christ! There was a poor sod up a ladder fixing the streetlight at the top of my cul de sac. It was freezing so I asked would he like a cup of tea - OH, YES PLEASE!! It doesn't hurt to be pleasant.

Looks like I'm going against the grain here, but I too would have been pissed off. I don't make drinks for builders, if I'm planning on being outside for a day I take a thermos for hot drinks or an insulated bottle for cold drinks.

Presuming they have access to a plug, there is no reason why they can't take their own kettle and teabags and brew up whenever they fancy.

I've had builders turn up previously who seemed to expect me to make them a cup of tea before they even started work. If I turned up in the office at my start time and refused to do anything until someone else had made me a cuppa I'd be handed my P45.

The lady herself offered to give them a kettle to use!
Why is everyone having a go at her!
Some people are shy in talking to others, or she’s a nervous mum! These are grown men! Give over & give the girl a break! Haven’t they heard of a Flask ???

hauntedvagina

It’s lucky that the majority of us don’t have your outlook! What a depressing world it would be

It would probably be polite to offer drinks but I'm surprised he asked. Often they bring a thermos.

Plus they’ll be paying paid a crappy daily rate.

Haahaahaa! Yes, a mere pittance, to toil outside in all weathers by force! They don't get paid a 'crap daily rate', that would be jobs mostly done by females, they know damn well what the job involves before training for it, no one forces people to go into any profession.

All these Eager Assistants having a go at a first time mum with a high-needs baby who is clueless (and for all the, I have 8 kids including newborn triplets but I have a hot meal on the table for de menz they been toiling down the pit all day with their slave master firing bullets at their feet, this person does not have any other children, your heroism and supermum skills are irrelevant) because she didn't hop to it to keep people they're paying to do a job in hot drinks. People who then blamed her for falling (You should have handed it through the window!) after requesting hot drinks and then took a replacement drink she brought out to them after she'd scratched herself up. And she is the one who is precious, mean, a bad host, deserves to have a less than quality job done, etc etc.

The apologists are in force. No wonder there's still so much bloody sexism about.

YY, go on then, make sure you serve your childminder a hot drink 4x/day or have one delivered, it's a tough, on your feet job. Don't forget the cakes and whisky and meals!

It’s lucky that the majority of us don’t have your outlook!

They do? So whenever you go to a new job the very first thing you do is head straight for the kettle and quaff a hot drink before getting to work in the role they hired you're hired to do, or tell your boss to get the kettle on first thing? Yeah, right! Love to see how that would go over in basically any other profession. 😂😂😂 You get/take 4 breaks a day where your boss serves you a drink, and you expect food as well, paid for by them?! 😂😂😂

We are contractors and as such are often on site when builders are. If it is a serious job they mostly have their own section with kettle etc, but if it is a small job, let me tell you now, you get happier builders and better work if you provide tea/coffee and biscuits.

If you don’t offer drinks they would have to stop and go to a local cafe it’s thirsty work if people are working outside my house nothing to do with me I will offer a hot drink in this weather

I always give builders etc drinks & biscuits . It pays off because they're then happy to do odd little stuff in the place that Ive been putting off like fix a heavy mirror to the wall, put a new string in the bathroom pull light etc. They were doing a fire regs required update for the flats so around a while. And my Landlords handyman will come same day if I ring now, rather than a 2day min wait as before.

hauntedvagina you are not on your own with your opinion. There are many of us who agreed with OP but no-one reads the replies and just pile on here to compete who's the biggest builder's pet.

Patellar You are a voice of reason here. This thread is utterly depressing and goes to show how poorly the building trade is perceived in this country. If I was a builder or any other trades person, I'd be cringing if I thought that the quality of my work depended on the bloody drinks they made. So patronising.

And for all of those who helpfully comment "it only takes a minute", well it bloody doesn't. When we had our extension built, often there were 5-8 blokes at any one time. To make them drinks would have meant rinsing and drying mugs first as they were often muddy/dirty and I certainly don't have enough mugs to provide a clean one throughout the day.

Then making the drinks, remembering who's having a half a sugar etc. Say make this to five blokes and five minutes later another two turn up and then you need to ask if they'd like a drink too. It would have gone all day I am meant to work, have deadlines but it means nothing because you need to be serving the men?

it’s thirsty work

Then wouldn't you bring your own supplies in case the customer(s) are out at work all day or not home for some reason? Or don't have a station set out? Wouldn't it be foolish to just assume the client has ability to make you hot drinks 4x/day because you're thirsty? Or that your foreman or contractor would be happy with you dashing off to a cafe 4x/day because you didn't bring a flask or bottle of water?

Gees, talk about precious! It's not enough for a client to pay on time, be flexible, provide access to a loo and water, no, they have to bring you a brew several times a day and food or they're shit.

Didums

Did no one tell you that part of having builders in, is making tea.

I've been there working my arse off, and only wanting a couple cups a day.

Builders have an unwritten code, no tea... Work to minimum

One cuppa, still basic work, and standard price, no extras

Tea n bacon/sausage butty, and at least 2 more cuppas .... work hard and do any little extras either free, or v cheap.

This is a daily thing. So if you start of well, then go to no cuppas, then you go back to min standard.

You have/had breaks at work, didn't you? Then why can't builders?

Maybe because I worked as a contractor, I look after them better than most, but the cuppa rule stands no matter what job.

So even if come to service the boiler, minimum is a cuppa!

Setting up a self serve tea n biscuit station is ok. Remember how.you want to be treated, then you treat others.

So I stick to ... YOU ARE BEING EXTREMELY UNREASONABLE ... You're not allowed to look in my house... Who the fuck do you think you are.

I also think if the builder is the twat kind of variety, the more you try to please them with coffees and teas, the more they peg you down as a walk over and shaft you behind your back. Sadly speaking from experience.

It's one thing to offer a drink if you have someone in for one or two days, but the OP's objection is that the builders are there for 3-4 months.

@PatellarTendonitis

I take it you don't get breaks at work, and you go thirsty all day, cos work doesn't offer drinks in any form.

Grow up, FFS 🤬

I don't think it's cheeky if they had only been offered 1 drink in the morning. Building and other trades can be hard work and I would offer on a regular basis throughout the day and tell them to just shout if they were ready for another drink before I offered. Teas, coffees, hot chocolates or squash/juice are usually appreciated (especially with a biscuit or bit of cake to go with them. If you look after builders and other trades=people you will find they go the extra mile for you most of the time. Most builders are happy enough to come and collect drinks - many are happy to make them themselves (and offer you while they are at it) - personally I don't think it's asking to much to provide a few refreshments when having work done.

YABU as I don't think there is anything wrong with them asking for drink if they have no access to facilities and it's not their fault you tripped over. Unless your baby was screaming I have no idea why you'd feel so rushed and if your baby was screaming I think they'd understand that you couldn't be bringing them drinks. Just set them up with a kettle etc and let them get on with it.