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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
74NewStreet · 06/02/2020 21:55

So much has been made of the cheeky fuckers refusing a tea station yet expecting op to furnish them with tea that I re read the op to check...
I had remember correctly; Op clearly states that she offered the tea station today; after all the hooha with her trampling through a building site with their drinks and berating them for looking in her windows.
They then told her they’d provide their own from then on? What’s wrong with that?
They were probably terrified of the reception they’d get if they asked to come in to fill the kettle Confused

Lipperfromchipper · 06/02/2020 21:59

l just reckon if you keep them sweet they'll be less inclined to mess about or cut corners.

@katseyes7 Seriously??Confused do you really think that they have no sense of pride in their work and that they are so shallow as to base their level of workmanship on whether you have them a cup of fucking tea!! How patronising!!!Hmm

Cheeserton · 06/02/2020 22:04

Bacon sandwiches... AKA a rod for your own back.

UpsyDaaaisy · 06/02/2020 22:16

This thread is amazing, I've never thought about not asking and a bit surprised at some of the responses. If I'm off out or working from home I let who ever it is working know where the kettle is and leave out a few biccies and job done Grin

NeverForgetYourDreams · 06/02/2020 22:17

We've just had builders in for 4 months and we always made them a drink when they arrived, mid morning and mid afternoon. In fact before I went to work when they weren't 'in' the house yet I would leave a drink outside for them as I knew they would be arriving shortly after

I'm afraid YABU. You can leave your baby for the ten minutes it takes to make a cuppa. Manual labour is tough work

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 22:17

PMSL @ 'poor host'.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 06/02/2020 22:18

Oh and we went out and bought £1 mugs just for them. Glad we did because they have become a bit manky

Flipswhitefudge · 06/02/2020 22:21

Do they not bring a thermos coffee/tea and a water bottle to work? I'm from a family of tradies and there is no way they'd expect this. I don't drink tea or coffee so they'd be out of luck here.

BigChocFrenzy · 06/02/2020 22:22

Seems different etiquette in Germany:

I've always asked builders or workmen here if they want drinks, but they always refuse politely and say they've brought their own
They all arrive with their own big bottles of water or whatever they drink

Igavebirthtoabanana · 06/02/2020 22:22

Why is it that the builders in this country are unable to make a thermos of coffee or tea and bring it with them? It does piss me off that just because you are in the house, you are expected to be hosting them at every turn. If it was DH who was home all day, I bet the builders would suddenly be able to sort their own drinks out.

We had some big building work done last year and I set them up a drinks station in the garage, cheap kettle, clean mugs, milk, sugar, teabags etc and that worked fine for about 3-4 months, towards the end I started to make them drinks as they were doing a lot indoors and it wasn't convenient to pop in the garage. But I only offered to do the drinks as they were nice, polite and I had grown to like them. I work from home and they were here when it was my busiest season so to begin with I simply didn't have time to go and check if an adult person was parched Hmm

And no way I'd be making bacon butties ffs. Builders are paid to do a job, they can drive to caff if they are hungry. Bloody madness and so sexist.

PickUpThePieces · 06/02/2020 22:25

First day, I’ll make them tea and coffee.
Thereafter, kettle in the garage. Bring their own tea, coffee, milk, sugar etc.
No way would I be making bacon rolls.
I’m not their skivvy. They are being paid to work and in my experience are excellent at taking their full lunch and tea breaks.
Something which is a luxury if you’re a nurse or a teacher, for example.
OP shouldn’t feel under pressure to cater for these workmen.

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 22:30

Drinks at morning as you walk in, mid-morning, lunch and mid-afternoon. Wow, that's a lot of breaks!

KenDodd · 06/02/2020 22:36

I had several months work done years ago. I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old at the time. I gave the builders access to the kitchen, tea coffee and biscuits provided by me. Plus access to a toilet and a warm, dry place to sit. Builders helped themselves (and often made me one). I sometimes also made them bacon sandwiches, about once every couple of weeks. In some ways they're a bit like employees for the time they're with you, I would want to treat them well.

Igavebirthtoabanana · 06/02/2020 22:39

I'm now reading the replies, honestly are some people on glue?

" you don't sound very kind"
" builders need a lot of hydration"
" you'll get a reputation being a meanie"
" they are willing to work better if they are looked after"

I despair. When we had our building work, I didn't hire babies that need a cuddle and bitty every five minutes but actual professionals and paid several tens of thousands for the work. And funnily enough my builders finished just fine and have happily agreed to do another project for us even though they had to make their own drinks for most of the time the last time they were here.

Lipperfromchipper · 06/02/2020 22:50

@BigChocFrenzy same here in Ireland surprisingly, ours always had what they needed, builders here are well used to working on sites with no services in the first place!! So they always bring their own or go to the nearest shop.

HollysBush · 06/02/2020 22:50

Don’t you eat or drink during the working day Lovepoppy?
Yes, I make myself 2 teas during a 12 hour day if I’m lucky(and eat my packed lunch/snacks). Then grab swigs of water (which I brought myself) when I get a chance.

Russellbrandshair · 06/02/2020 22:53

And funnily enough my builders finished just fine and have happily agreed to do another project for us even though they had to make their own drinks for most of the time the last time they were here

Same! I’ve never made any builder tea because I give them the stuff to make it themselves. And yes- our first builder has done 2 separate jobs for us so clearly they had no issue coming back so there goes that stupid theory! 😆

Igavebirthtoabanana · 06/02/2020 22:59

IcePinkEskimo

So being a polite and flexible customer who pays on time without quibbling every penny means nothing? And sets you up with a drink station maybe too. And that's not enough for you?

Shelby30 · 06/02/2020 23:00

You are absolutely not unreasonable.

Very same thing happened to me. They kept chapping the door asking for tea/coffee knowing I had a young baby to care for and there was often at least 4 of them. I wouldn't have minded if I didn't have a young baby but it's not always easy to drop everything to make them drinks! Thankfully it was just a driveway they were doing so were away after 3/4days.

SmileyClare · 06/02/2020 23:05

Fucks sake. What a shocker; A builder politely asks a mum at home for 1 tea and a coffee at 3pm while working on her extension. That hardly warrants people wailing about being a skivvy, a waitress and what does he want next a pop up cafe? What a demanding baby, he must be sexist! Hmm

If you're at home, not doing much, why on earth is it a problem to make a hot drink for someone else?

What a storm in a teacup.Grin

Igavebirthtoabanana · 06/02/2020 23:22

OP, replies on this thread have really wound me up Grin You are not in the wrong and I'm sorry you've received horrible replies. You don't sound stuck up at all.

As some reasonable PP's have pointed out, extensive building work is intrusive and stressful and you also have a small baby which means you are most likely sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation makes everything harder.

If I was you, I'd just set up the drinks station and be firm with it. If you have a free moment in the day, maybe offer making a drink but don't feel obliged. Only if you have the time and feel on top of everything else Smile

These threads always bring out the professional door mats.

Blue09 · 06/02/2020 23:23

YABVU! Get the kettle on for them! Manual labour is bloody hard work. Common courtesy to make people a drink if they’re working for you. Why wouldn’t you?!?

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 23:26

Lots of people do manual labour and don't expect their employer to make them hot drinks, but hey, her indoors, your job is to serve up hot drinks as you're not doing FA else Hmm.

lovemelongtime · 06/02/2020 23:30

I would offer a drink and leave a kettle but if the cheeky fucks asked me for one through the window I'd be right pissed off.

Legoandloldolls · 06/02/2020 23:35

I bought my builders a microwave, kettle and plates etc. They was doing a two story two bed and bathroom size extension. I tried to make them overly happy yet self sufficient. They had free run of the facilities but I wasnt waiting on them. Besides it was more than six people some days. As long as they can eat, drink and use the loo i left them to be grown adults. Besides if I was too available they wanted me to climb ladders and check things on site. I stayed scarce after that 😁