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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 06/02/2020 23:36

I always offer a hot drink on arrival and whenever I make myself one. Same with cold drinks when it's hot.

Agree for a long job like this I would leave mugs out and tea bags etc and say help yourself to milk in the fridge or a cold drink. I'd also leave biscuits out.

My father used to work in people's homes and the number of times he'd come home after a really hot or really cold day (having worked outside too) and not be offered a drink was shocking. People can only take so many supplies with them.

I even offer drinks to workmen in the road. Treat others how you'd like to be treated....

Dieu · 06/02/2020 23:42

Nobody is that busy with a 4 month old baby that they can't make a brew!

SmileyClare · 06/02/2020 23:44

If you offer a drink or leave a kettle then no one will be asking for a drink though so moot point.

Sorry but I can't ever imagine getting upset over such a simple request.

JemSynergy · 06/02/2020 23:49

Would never occur to me to not offer drinks.

BumbleBree · 07/02/2020 00:22

Have some people missed the fact that OP only offered to put facilities for them to make their own after 4 days. So many people saying the builders refused to make their own because they wanted her to wait on them (because of course all men are awful humans) Hmm but that’s not the case! Some folk are right stingey with their teabags Grin

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 07/02/2020 00:24

OP, I'm not sure anyone noticed that you have a tiny baby - not only do his care needs trump builders' drink needs, but you are still recovering from the birth.

I am disgusted by the builders' cavalier attitude to you and your baby's needs. Hope you're feeling better now.

I love making workmen a coffee etc but honestly they mostly prefer to get their own nowadays.

Joans3rddaughter · 07/02/2020 00:45

Our builder erected a garden shed temporarily in our garden and with our agreement, connected to our electricity supply. We did not have to provide any drinks, he was self sufficient. The builder also erected a temporary toilet behind the shed. This was for a 3 month build. Your builders need to sort themselves out.

Purplelion · 07/02/2020 04:51

I can’t believe this is even an issue!
It’s surely standard to make them drinks? A baby is fine for 2 minutes and you leave the drink somewhere for the builders.
I had some work done recently, I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, I managed to make 4/5 rounds of drinks a day and the kids survived.
You sound a bit precious op.

username58788 · 07/02/2020 06:58

I still can't believe people think the op is bu . Baby or no baby she offered the tea station and they should take it or leave it . A man is perfectly capable of making a brew .
It's funny if a woman posts about that she has no one to help her with the kids she is told that she's a lazy so and so because they are her responsibility and get on with it but a builders should require several brews a day or they won't do a good job .
It's bloody sexist and they can make a brew. The op didn't mind making a brew she offered the tea station but she is busy with her child and didn't want to keep making brews that is not unreasonable. What is unreasonable is others saying she is . More fool you lot if you want to run round after anyone making drinks . Ffs go and read the opening post .

Vulpine · 07/02/2020 07:01

Theres no way I'd make 4 to 5 rounds a day. Sod that.

Kirkman · 07/02/2020 07:02

FSS it's not sexist. When I was a single parent, I paid for decorators to do stuff like that for me. I purposely employed a female. Made her a few brews as well.

I read the opening post. My boss make me a brew on a morning. I might make him one in the afternoon.

Yes, I managed to have kids, and make brews for people in my house who were there for any reason.

Didnt bother me.

OP asked for opinions and mine is that I disagree with her. Why do you think so little of women, to think they just cant have a differing opinion without it being clouded by sexism?

Maybe people just disagree.

imarocketman50 · 07/02/2020 07:08

Last time we had work done outside I made at least 4 brews a day for them, biscuits and then switched to water on some baking hot days.

When my mum had builders on site for a few months she let them help themselves and once a week made a cake for them and they said they were sad to leave when the job was done.

You either deal with making the brews or set up a station for them to serve themselves. Keep builders sweet and they'll be sweet to you.

Heymacarana · 07/02/2020 07:09

I don’t think they were unreasonable to ask, but when I used to work in people house I had a cool box in the van full of drinks (I don’t do hot drinks).

Colleagues just took flasks. Most customers would offer but if they didn’t you just used your own.

Same with luck, snacks etc. It’s not a big deal to have stuff in the van for when you need it

Thebishopofbanterbury · 07/02/2020 07:09

It's quite simple leave all the things out so they can make their own drinks no?

Lipperfromchipper · 07/02/2020 07:10

Keep builders sweet and they'll be sweet to you.

Again...patronising!!! Builders are fully capable of being “sweet” without making you their personal tea maker Hmm

SoupDragon · 07/02/2020 07:16

Again...patronising!!! Builders are fully capable of being “sweet” without making you their personal tea maker

Not patronising at all. Pretty much everyone is prepared to go the extra mile for someone who is nice to them.

Somebodystired · 07/02/2020 07:18

I was all set to say YABU until you reiterated that you had offered them a tea station and they declined. In that case, they are expecting you to make them drinks rather than just provide them. Several times a day, every day, which is really rude actually.

Kirkman · 07/02/2020 07:20

All the people who said they go work and dont expect their employers to provide tea all day, doesnt make sense. If we are looking it as employer/employee, everyone know if you treat employees well, they are more productive.

SoupDragon · 07/02/2020 07:25

In the OP they didn't "turn down" a kettle in the garage, they said they could bring their own drinks. It was only later that she said they had "refused". Those are two different things really.

I would set up the drinks station because I was "going out for the day" and then go out. Then the kettle etc is all set up for the future with no fuss.

othervoicesotherrooms · 07/02/2020 07:27

You do know that when they go to another job they talk about the tight customers who don't provide drinks?

Haha! Really? I've never once had a conversation with a builder about a previous customer's hospitality.

OP, if you don't want to make them drinks, leave the stuff in the garage (even if this has been declined).
Tell them it's there and they can do what they want.

All the drama about having a 3 month old baby keeping you constantly occupied... how do you do anything in the house?
It's not their fault you tripped.

Builder: ' Four teas, milk, sugar love'
You: All in the garage! Help yourself!'

Lipperfromchipper · 07/02/2020 07:29

@Soupdragon

Not patronising at all. Pretty much everyone is prepared to go the extra mile for someone who is nice to them.

So you are only nice to ppl if you want something from them?? Surely we should aim to be nice...because it’s nice to be nice Confused

And it is very patronising...there are other ways of being “nice” (as you put it) to your builders ...as I said upthread I had builders and workmen on site for a year while they built my house...I spent most of that time at work or out with the dc...building sites are not the best place for dc to hang out on!! My builders ALWAYS had their own supplies, there was times I didn’t even have water supply to make bloody tea (as is the case on A LOT of house builds!!) my house was perfect and completed to a great spec because I PAID them, not because I gave them tea once or twice!!

And no not EVERYONE can or will go the extra mile because someone was “nice” to them

Skyejuly · 07/02/2020 07:32

I offer ones in road drinks too. In this instance and only having a baby I would have made drinks or told them they have free access to kettle from start.

Russellbrandshair · 07/02/2020 07:32

You do know that when they go to another job they talk about the tight customers who don't provide drinks?

I’ve had various builders in over the years and not once have I ever heard this from any of them! It makes poor business sense to slag off welllpaying customers who pay on time just because they didn’t make you enough tea! If that’s your attitude you’ll fail miserable at garnering business.

Skyejuly · 07/02/2020 07:32

3mth old can't move at least! Get a sling.

Russellbrandshair · 07/02/2020 07:35

Keep builders sweet and they'll be sweet to you

So every builder that has appeared on rogue traders is only scamming people because they didn’t make them enough cups of tea? Couldn’t be because they’re lying cheating con men at heart? You don’t blame the customer for shoddy building work. Good grief.