‘School Prom’ for 11 year olds - ridiculous or not?

[Keeponkeepigon]

Hello everyone, looking for some perspective.
My child is in year 6 and a group of parents have started to plan a party/prom for later on in the year. They have predicted the party will cost £3000! With a ticket cost of £30 and any shortfall to be made up by fundraising at our school. Selling ice creams to other children when the weather improves. It has been suggested that this prom should be very special and ‘a coming of age event’. The parents are trying to organise a disco with sit down meal for 75 children with perhaps a surf simulator at a hotel. Any criticism of, or suggestions for the event have been met with passive aggressive retorts i.e ‘well, what would your sons idea of a good evening be’. Do you think this event and the cost is unreasonable or is this event similar to anything your child has attended when leaving school? Thanks in advance

Our school does this .
They even rent ugly old hummers or limos.
Bloody ridiculous

We did have a year book in year 6, but only because an American mum wanted one, and therefore organised it all, wonderful. I think the book cost £15? We also had leavers hoodies, which are very common round our way, another £15. The school organised lots of end of year days out, so we decided on a simple "get together" at someone's house. Very lucky to have someone with a pool, so that, and a bouncy castle, party food, and just general running around was more than enough. The only argument I remember, was a group of parents wanted to get a limo, to go from school to the party. Thank god that was voted down, and we actually just borrowed the school mini-bus :-)

Ridiculous, think a disco in the school hall or similar venue would be okay.

Seems ridiculous to me but will be dictated by how many tickets get sold and how many people will support the event as to whether it's a success I suppose.

When my youngest left primary last year they had a disco with pizza. £3 a head and so inclusive to all.

DS's school had pizzas & a film and we paid £8 for a hoody with the names of all the Y6 pupils on it (first name & initial).

I don't think makeup, cocktail bars, limos etc are appropriate at that age. And why the need to call it a "prom" .

Agreed, Drizzzle one of the parents wanted to organise a limo to take a few children around the village... Thank goodness most of us refused, and it didn't happen. My daughter wore a lovely party dress, nothing overly fancy, and our hairdresser put some curls in her hair, just for a bit extra, but the number of girls who had fancy updos, nails done, full makeup was crazy!

It seems to be a growing trend. I am 28 and when I left primary school it was a disco that’s it. A year after I left they introduced the prom. Seems a bit ott at that age to be honest. I was happy with a disco!

My younger brother and sisters had the prom in year 6, It was ridiculous. It was held at the school but everyone hired posh cars, expensive dresses, suits, hair and make up done, posh food. One year they hired out bouncy castles etc which kinda makes it less formal I guess.

The primary school my Dc go to do not have a year 6 prom. They just have a disco.

DD left primary last year, they had a beach themed party in the school hall with fish and chips. They called it prom and all had new dresses but it wasn’t like a year 11 prom. It was lovely and I think it cost about £20 a ticket. I don’t think 3k for the whole year is horrendous depending how many kids there are? Dd has gone to a different secondary to all her friends and I know she treasures the memories of all the events of the end of primary school.

Way over the top and what 11yr old wants a sit down meal seriously. It sounds like an opportunity for very bored parents to show off more than anything. A disco in a hall with sandwiches, sausage rolls and crisps would be much more affordable and fun I would think.

Another vote for ridiculous. They are still little children - far too young for the concept of a 'prom' type event.

A disco in the school hall with some simple refreshments will be enough and won't cost much either.

And we wonder why children are growing up too fast these days!

Primary school proms (shudder) are right up there with the nursery 'graduations' I've come across. Children don't need to get all the life 'landmarks' as quickly as they possibly can, ffs...

They had one at the school I work at for the 1st time, July just gone.
It was just a disco with a few in suits and long dresses,the rest wore casual clothes.

Two issues with a sit-down meal you might like to raise with the head teacher.
Selection of food: organizing a sit down meal which caters for food allergies and ethical issues can be very complicated. I recently went for a meal with five (supposedly) adults, and that was complicated enough, now multiply that by 6 for a one-form intake, 12 for two-form....People providing the catering on that scale will want diners to order in advance, which presupposes that they'll remember on the day what they ordered......If there's a buffet, children can pick out what they can eat, or what they like.
Food waste: our lovely PTA organized the tea following entertainments at Christmas. Not quite the same, I know, but experience led them to scale right back on what food was provided, and paid for, because so much got wasted. The children were far more interested in being all in together with their mates. There are some sophisticated 11 year olds who would enjoy sitting down for a "proper meal", but I don't think I taught many of them.

I think it sounds lovely , it's a special treat for the end of primary school and I'm sure it will be child friendly. I just think it is the in Mumsnet thing to be really snobby about Y6 proms

I just think it is the in Mumsnet thing to be really snobby about Y6 proms

in other words, some people in the real world have a different opinion and I can't get over that fact.

Utterly bonkers; we had a water fight and a bbq, paid for by parents; cheap as chips and great fun all round. The kids also raised money for a separate trip by selling cakes etc. Depends on the school demographic. If you're all minted do what you want. If there's a chance that folk will get left out due to cost then may be consider that.

That sounds way over the top. A disco and a buffer and some cool activity is enough surely?

I am going to bypass the parents who are organising it and talk straight to the Headmaster. Hopefully a kind word from the school might make them rethink the scale and cost of the party. Especially if the ‘fundraising’ at school (selling overpriced snacks) is no longer an option.

Totally ridiculous IMO. Some parents tried to arrange a formal “prom” for when my DD was in year 6 but DD and others said they wouldn’t go. They just wanted a school disco with pizza and ordinary “party” clothes. That’s what they got in the end as the “prom” parents couldn’t sell enough tickets to their “black tie” affair.

In year six they ARE growing up but they are still CHILDREN and should be allowed to be children for as long as they can.

We could have had use of the parish centre for free. Someone had a friend who was willing to do a disco at cost price and someone else knew someone who could loan a load of party games stuff for free (inflatable sumo wrestler costumes etc!). We were thinking of either parents contributing plates of food for a buffet or a pizza place round the corner offered a deal on several large pizzas and chips. Would have only cost a few quid per child.

Someone else took over, booked a venue miles away and booked a novelty bus based on a film most of the children hadn't seen that cost a fortune. Then the needed party bags, sweet cones and a commemorative cake to cut at the party venue. It ended up costing £50 per child instead.

My child didn't go as I didn't want to spend that much as she hates laser quest which was the main activity in the new venue.

It's really not snobby to be concerned about the exclusion of children whose family can't afford it or to think that children should be treated like children

We had a lovely party with DJ in a local social club for about £20 per family (2 parents plus any siblings). This also included gifts for the y6s like a maths equipment tin ready for high school. It was a lovely family celebration.

Oh and it included a buffet for everyone and a cake for the y6s.