‘School Prom’ for 11 year olds - ridiculous or not?

[Keeponkeepigon]

Hello everyone, looking for some perspective.
My child is in year 6 and a group of parents have started to plan a party/prom for later on in the year. They have predicted the party will cost £3000! With a ticket cost of £30 and any shortfall to be made up by fundraising at our school. Selling ice creams to other children when the weather improves. It has been suggested that this prom should be very special and ‘a coming of age event’. The parents are trying to organise a disco with sit down meal for 75 children with perhaps a surf simulator at a hotel. Any criticism of, or suggestions for the event have been met with passive aggressive retorts i.e ‘well, what would your sons idea of a good evening be’. Do you think this event and the cost is unreasonable or is this event similar to anything your child has attended when leaving school? Thanks in advance

how many would actually attend though and how would it be 'policed' ?
my 11 yo self would have shoved the school bullies face in their dinner, thug life

I don’t think the school have any input but they have advertised the parent’s group on social media. I’m quite pleased that the responses have echoed my feelings as I don’t want to be the grinch, negative parent.

Not only is it horribly exclusionary for families who can't afford it, it's also contributing to the atmosphere of absolute hysteria about leaving primary school by ramping up the pressure and drama. So many kids end up a sobbing mess because the school sing the parents make such a massive song and dance about it.

The whole thing is dreadful and doesn't do the kids any favours

Also fundraising at the school for what is essentially a private event is completely out of order. Is the school aware of that plan?

I think proms are ridiculous in year 11, never mind at age 11.
Mine had a party in the school with sandwiches and fairy cakes.

DS' school have what they call a "prom" at the end of Y6 but it is really a disco in the hall that lasts about two hours. They get chips from the local takeaway. It's paid for by the PTA. I like it because while they do dress up there's a real range, from boys in suits to boys in jeans and tops and from girls in dungarees to girls in party dresses - nobody feels the need to look ten years older.

Excessive and inappropriate.
Puts a massive pressure on families to spend money they might not have.
Likely to increase in costs too as the children of the pushy parents will want expensive clothes and fancy transport too.

I personally think school should put a stop to it by contacting the parents and pointing out not inclusive etc and certainly banning fundraising in school for it. Fundraising should be for the PTA, or a charity, or for the y6s to donate an item to the school, not for this.

(Our primary did a camp out in school grounds for the y6s with games and a BBQ and hot chocolate.)

Previous year 6’s have sold ice creams at the end of school day on the playground. So the school must be aware.

Where will it end, this madness?

Get your child to start a poll/petition to be consulted about what they want.

This would have been a brilliant opportunity to have class representatives and get children involved in the power of their vote.

My DD had a school disco, with buffet. The hall was laid out with tables to sit at. It was still fancy.

I got my DD's dress off Ebay. There's loads knocking about. My DD wanted a green dress and we got one from a Chinese website.

At my children's school yr 6 are having a disco (parents have organised it at a cost of £5 per child).
School are doing a leaves bbq which is no cost, sit down meal is way ott.

Crazy!!! School disco in the hall with fizzy drinks and haribo is fine, perhaps a bbq. They are kids. At my kids school the head's teenage son did the music courtesy of his iPad and Spotify, did a great job too (I was a chaperone as dd is autistic)

A PROM implies fluffy dresses and almost high-heeled shoes for the girls and suits and shiny shoes for the boys, not the kind of thing they's be likely to wear out with their friends at the weekend. Add corsages and buttonholes, a trip to the hairdresser or barbershop, maybe a fancy limo and a get together for the family before they leave home, take your 30 ticket and multiply it by whatever. Goodness knows how a hotel is going to watch over 75 children and get them a meal to suit fussy eaters, gluten free, nut free, dairy free, low sugar etc and not create a big pile of waste. Teachers won't want to come in on their night out. Make your concerns known to the head teacher, they can't organise it without his/her co-operation.

DD's primary school do a graduation play, loosely a musical with mostly current songs, every child participates and has some speaking or dancing or instrumental part, this is followed immediately by a graduation ceremony for which each child changes back into their school uniform and receives a scroll and a round of applause from all the parents. The rest of the school student and teachers line the hallways afterward and give them a standing ovation out into the front garden of the school at which point EVERYBODY cries. It's so fecking beautiful.

For the last number of years the graduating class parents have organised a yearbook (or DVD equivalent) which the child receives with the scroll. Graduation happens the week before school finishes so the children can bring their yearbook to school the following week and have it signed by teachers and students. There is a charge for the yearbook but there is plenty of notice given and you can opt out.

I blame instagram.

How tacky to need something so full on and aping more adult celebrations. Has anyone considered what the actually children want to do? Rather than what a few over the top mums saw on some god awful American teen coming of age movie when they were teens?

My daughter’s year 6 class had a disco and tickets cost £2.50 or something. There was hotdogs, sweets and drinks and no one was dressed up. The headteacher would never have allowed a sit down meal and has apparently banned OTT stuff in previous years, including someone wanting their child to arrive to the disco in a limo a few years before my daughter’s disco.

Sounds ridiculous and totally unnecessary
Can’t imagine what a sit down meal would look like!
Most importantly, what about families that can’t afford £30....
My children have all had Yr 6 disco in local scout hut paid for by some fairly low key fundraising, with loads of sweets and running around shrieking & dancing. All had a great time.

I kid you not there was mention of table setting and sashes for chairs! I think it is a good idea to alert the headteacher. Especially if parents like myself feel they can’t approach the self appointed committee due to their passive aggressiveness

Some sort of event - no problem. Something of that magnitude? Crazy.

FWIW at the end of primary, DD’s cohort chose to go to a local “activity” type place and had a BBQ. We paid £10 each (and a lovely parent donated limos to transport them all so we had no minibus costs )

The school put on a buffet after awards evening at no cost.

Yes, definitely talk to the head. It's terrible for those who can't afford it, and for those who can ill-afford it but feel they must because otherwise their child will be left out.

You don't have to do very much to make it a bit special for 11 year olds. If we escalate children's parties to this level, no wonder we have people struggling with weddings, as they strive to make them more special than their primary school do.

Madness. I like the sound of a previous poster who said they stayed after school and had a bbq and prob a play on the field etc. That would be lovely. A sit down meal is crazy.

Utterly, utterly ridiculous

Ludicrous, in fact

we had a leavers party organised by the parents. Was £15 per head.
We hired the village hall, had dominos pizza, slushies, sweets, mocktails, homemade photo booth, inflatable games, etc.
Kids loved it, had a great time. all they want to do is have a last hang out with their friends