Im really struggling with my relationship and would appreciate some advice. Met DP 2.5 years ago online (me 45, him 49), lots in common, huge attraction and a real whirlwind romance. After a horrible drawn out divorce it was a magical feeling to be happy. The first year was amazing and I truly thought it was forever. He met my tweens after about 6mths they get on really well and he started staying over a lot. After several months of being at my place pretty much all the time, I asked him to make a financial contribution to cover what he was costing me in food and utilities. He did not respond to this as positively as I had expected, had a bit of a tantrum & said he had to pay for his place so it wasn’t fair to ask him to pay twice. I insisted as feeding him was expensive and he has a good job and earns about £50k so I felt it was not fair for me to be out of pocket, we both earn about the same but I have 2 kids to support (I have a small mortgage free terrace house). He eventually agreed on £300/mth, which considering I was paying for his food, alcohol, toiletries, water, elec was fair. Also I didn’t want him to formally move in & rent his place out as I wasn’t ready for that then and I don’t think he was either. Anyway more information started to come out, he has over £20k worth of credit card debts and overdraft, living month to month, spending more than he earns. Considering he inherited a mortgage free flat and this was purely from not living within his substantial means I was pretty unimpressed. He does buy me expensive gifts, although I have asked him not to, and he spent so much on my birthday gift he told me he couldn’t pay the £300 that month. It’s been rocky for a year now, he’s in more debt and I ended up having pay for our last holiday with no contribution from him. He currently owes me £2k for his share of our next holiday which he agreed to and I paid up front, but has never discussed paying me back. I have to chase him every month to get the food money and its uncomfortable for me. He doesn’t help with any cleaning or cooking other than clear up after dinner, unload dishwasher, a weekend breakfast and the odd bit of diy. By now I would have been thinking about more formal living together but I am scared by his irresponsibility and lack of reciprocity. So instead over Xmas I asked him to stay at his a couple of nights a week which he argued about but I did not back down. I got angry & withdrawn at the beginning of the month (as no £ was mentioned and I felt sick that I was going to have to raise it again) so he stormed out and is now sulking at his. The relationship is great other than this, but this is souring everything for me especially as he seems to be making no effort to make any changes. I know he blames our problems on my moodiness but does not seem to connect this with any of the above. I do struggle to talk about these issues with him as I am very fearful due to my previous abusive relationship but also how he has reacted in the past. I dont want to end what was such an amazing happy relationship and hurt my kids in the process, but I’m also frightened to stay in it and be used and dragged down by this irresponsibility. Or am I being unreasonable and unnecessarily worried (which is what he thinks)?