Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cultural Norms Giving Birth

107 replies

doadeer · 05/02/2020 13:04

I'm fascinated by the different attitudes to pregnancy and childbirth in different cultures.

I would say in UK we are you going through a very pro "natural" phase - huge rise in hypnobirthing and midwife led birth suites. Strong vbac emphasis. Can be quite judgemental on elective c sections.

Colleagues from France were surprised when I said I hadn't thought about having an epidural as they said this is very common there.

A friend was talking about giving birth in Thailand where c sections are the norm with many hospitals not trained to deliver vaginallg. Another friend said it's similar in Cyprus.

It's so interesting. What are the childbirth norms where you are from?

OP posts:
KidCaneGoat · 06/02/2020 08:22

@Athrawes woah. That does not sound a fun journey.

HoppingPavlova · 06/02/2020 08:55

As far as I know in Australia, you take the baby to the health clinic for weighing etc, no one comes to the house to do it like health visitors do in the UK.

I’m in Aust. When I had mine I had someone come to the house for several visits. Did the weigh-in’s, checked breast feeding etc. Organised you onto a list for mum-baby group if you wanted. You then went to the baby clinic yourself from around 12 weeks from memory. That was my experience anyway, may be area dependant? Also, obviously could not occur in country or outback situations.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 06/02/2020 08:59

Had my ds here emergency csection midwife was fantastic the consultant not so much and wouldn’t listen to her (she told him after 8 hours I needed a csection - I finally had emergency section at 23 hours. Aftercare very poor

I have two friends who has their babies in Italy and both said that pain relief was not so easily available and that women were almost expected to suffer as much as they could during birth

Friends from Brazil have had elected csections seems the norm if you can afford to and I guess if hospitals can manage how long the stay is wards can run more smoothly

papooshka · 06/02/2020 09:15

I gave birth to my 2 in Singapore. Its all private healthcare there so we were in a private hospital. The care is all led by gynae's. They encourage a monthly check up with scans etc.

My first was breech so I had an elective cs at 39 weeks. My gynae was actually quite 'western' in her thinking, as usually in Singapore its very medicalised. The gynae's seem to book people in to give birth around what suits them!
My cs was great, I stayed in hospital for a week and had great care, it was like being in a hotel but obvs all paid for (by our insurance)
BF-ing help wasn't great so again had to pay for a private lactation consultant.
For my second I went for a vbac. My gynae was very encouraging of this. I laboured in hospital, but the nurses weren't great. They wanted me laying down but I insisted on kneeling on the bed so I was upright. The gynae only came once they thought my baby was actually coming. I ended up with forceps which wasn't the best for me as I tore badly.

I stayed in hospital for about a week again after.

Gas and air and epidural were offered freely.
As you pay for everything you can basically have what you want!

NCforThis2020 · 06/02/2020 11:10

I am German and had DD in Germany, DS in Scotland.

Germany has three options: homebirth, "Geburtshaus" (=midwife-led unit), hospital. Hospitals are the default option. The Geburtshaus is quite hotel-like and you only go there to give birth, then leave a couple hours later. Costs aren't completely covered by insurance, most have to pay around €200 to give birth there. Some places wave this for low-income parents. There is an overnight fee in hospitals, usually in the lower two digits. Hospitals are very CS-happy and prone to intervention from what I gather. Also chronic issues with consent and BF advice tends to be from the 50s. Much of German newborn care is still influenced by Johanna Haarer, who wrote advice books in Nazi Germany and until the 1960s. The gist was, the greatest danger is to spoil a newborn and turn it into a little tyrann. Obviously, there is a shift away from this now but these ideas were still common place in the 50s/60s (i.e. current grandparent generation).

Homebirths are less common because barely any midwife can afford to pay the insurance for it. They increased it drastically a couple of years ago and would have liked to do away with homebirths all together.

All births, including CS, have to be attended by a midwife by law. Old, white, usually male surgeons have recently tried to overthrow that, because why would you possible care about the mother during a CS...

You have to book your own midwife for pre- and postnatal care but she can visit you however often you want. Some midwifes only do prenatal or only postnatal care or only do homebirths - some do any combination of this. In some cases, hospitals have "Beleghebammen" who have a contract with hospitals and can supervise births there. In that case, you are the one who picks and hires them and will already know your midwife prior to giving birth. If you don't have a Beleghebamme, you get whoever is on duty.

I find most German midwifes a little to keen on globuli and accupuncture but mine was not too miffed when I told her I am not into it. Because of the midwife shortage, they have to be booked the moment the test is positive. I mean this in the most literal sense. Otherwise you have to see your gyno for every check-up and they are usually oversubscribed (=2h waits were not uncommon). If you want a homebirth and go over your due date, you have to attend a gyno appointment three days after your due date in order for the midwifes insurance to cover it. There are no real guidelines for this and plenty of cases in which women were forced to consent to exams they were not comfortable with in order to be "allowed" to give birth at home. Essentially, the system is designed around hospital births.

After the birth, there are a couple of compulsary appointments at the pediatrician to ensure baby is doing fine. They continue into teenage years and you will get an offical reminder from your local health institute if you miss it. They might also send SS around if someone missed a few to check on the child's welfare. Insurance covers classes for mums after birth, which primarily aim to strengthen the pelvic floor and close your tummy muscles without leaving a gap. The general rule is to spend two weeks in bed after giving birth and then slowly ease into things. It is one year paid parental leave + 2 months if the father takes some, too. Additionally, you can take another 2 years unpaid leave. Your employer has to honour your contract afterwards, so even if you stay home for three years, they have to accept you back. The clock starts over with every child but the money in year one is based on your income of the last 12 months, so if you don't go back between kids, you lose money. If the company has 15+ people, they are legally obliged to offer your part-time work.

Finding a nursery is a nightmare though. You have to register the moment you've got the birth certificate if you want to go back after one year and if you want to go back sooner and need a nursery, you're screwed. On the upside, it is about €200-€300 per month and child, all inclusive and full-time.

Overall, I found the Scotland version much more relaxed. I had homebirths with both and enjoyed the hand-off approach over here much more. I did pay for the Harmony test with both children in remember that some of that cost with DD was refunded by my German insurance but not much. I only wanted that + the standard ultrasounds so didn't mind not having to go and see someone every two weeks. There is a lot more pregnancy faff in Germany and we have a weird thing with herbal teas, which need to be drunk from pregnancy week x to week y. From what friends said, it is much easier to get a CS or PDA in Germany. They also seem to favour a CS over a complicated instrumental vaginal delivery in Germany. Postnatal care is much better, too. Most couples pay for a family room but if you don't, you will be in a room with max. one other person. Room-in is standard now. Some hospitals have G&A but weirdly only seem to offer this for stiches, not for the birth - no idea why.

Someone mentioned the pain thing earlier: It is less that we think that childbirth should be painful, it is more that the German view on pain in general seems to be very different to the UK-perspective. For example, we have all grown up being taught that paracetamol and ibuprofen are bad for our kidneys and to avoid painkillers if at all possible. Pain is part of life and usually tells you that there is something wrong, that needs addressed. If there is a forseeable timelimit on it, e.g. "oh, I have got a headache because I didn't drink enough water today" we don't react with a painkiller but will instead rehydrate. If that is your daily reality, then you know that pain is nothing to be afraid of, it is just part of life and will pass. Of course we use meds if things get too rough but not nearly as quickly as I regularly see it happen here in the UK. I do think it makes a difference in how we approach birth. On average, there seems to be less fear of the pain and less uncertainty of whether we'll be able to manage. Nothin to do with wanting women to suffer.

drspouse · 06/02/2020 12:27

these ideas were still common place in the 50s/60s

This sounds like the mum of a German colleague, I imagine also trying to influence how she brings up her DS. She (the colleague) reports being left alone in the flat in her cot while mum nipped to the shops (she wasn't old enough to be aware of this, her DM told her).

Footle · 06/02/2020 13:54

@Coka , would you mind telling me where you live, by PM if you prefer?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread