Cultural Norms Giving Birth

[doadeer]

I'm fascinated by the different attitudes to pregnancy and childbirth in different cultures.

I would say in UK we are you going through a very pro "natural" phase - huge rise in hypnobirthing and midwife led birth suites. Strong vbac emphasis. Can be quite judgemental on elective c sections.

Colleagues from France were surprised when I said I hadn't thought about having an epidural as they said this is very common there.

A friend was talking about giving birth in Thailand where c sections are the norm with many hospitals not trained to deliver vaginallg. Another friend said it's similar in Cyprus.

It's so interesting. What are the childbirth norms where you are from?

Oh yes and DS was given chamomile tea, by tube, in the nicu before I could get any colostrum to them!! Then formula which was at least what I was expecting.

We had to top up with formula for a while and they didn't worry about choosing a brand. We had Humana one day, Milupa (aptamil) the next, Hipp another, unmarked bottle the next. So when we went home we bought whichever premade bottles we could get from whichever shop, and when we moved to powder we didn't worry about switching brands then either. I didn't notice any remote effect on his tummy as seems to be the big fear in the UK! He was only having one bottle a day though, so perhaps it didn't matter because of that. They also have an array of complicated options - no stage 1, but one called Pre for newborns (and formula is often shortened to "pre") and then stage 0, IIRC. There was also a hypoallergenic version of every brand to choose from. I googled this and found it was marketing and not really proven to have any effect so we stuck to pre but didn't worry about whether it was hypoallergenic or not.

Because we didn't have a midwife the only weighing we got was in hospital and then at the paediatrician at 6 weeks and then months 4, 5 and 6. I weighed him on the bathroom scales in between.

A good book about this BTW is Knocked Up Abroad. A friend of a friend collected and published it. It's on kindle and I think in print too.

@okiedokieme great for you. i can certify that having wisdom teeth removed doesn’t hurt that badly - i still don’t think that means people shouldn’t get painkillers at the dentist

Epidurals are considered too lightly

My friend had a CSF leak and was debilitated by headaches et al to the extent she couldn't care for her baby.

Had to be taken to theatre days later and have it patched

I don't know anywhere in the UK where you don't take the baby to the clinic to be weighed!

My two were adopted but as babies so when we registered with a GP they were still small and the HV came round to weigh them. After that I went to a baby weighing session in a Children's Centre which I'm pretty sure is still the case though my younger one is 5.

I'm in Finland and I've had two babies here, 9 years ago and 2 years ago (2 years ago today I was in the hospital in labour!). It's rather old fashioned in many ways, 9 years ago they were still giving you enemas when you arrived at the hospital. Midwives lead the birth, monitored the entire time (at least I was) so not able to move around so much, G&A, rocking chair, water blisters, heating pads for pain relief but also epidural and para-cervical blocks if you ask.

Hospital stay is at least 2 days afterwards (there's the hospital hotel option if no complications) with breastfeeding support and lots of checking on baby's weight - if they lose a lot and don't start gaining it back they don't discharge you until some improvement is seen and top ups of donor milk are given (9 years ago DD was given it in a bottle and 2 years ago DS was given it in a syringe)

No HV here but there are regular check ups at the midwife clinic until baby is 6 weeks old and after that at the children's clinic.

In the UK. Had epidural with first, because it was a difficult delivery.

Gas and air only with the second - I'd planned an epidural but there wasn't time. Gas and air was amazing. Fantastic pain relief.

Tea and toast afterwards. Then a nice bath. Both felt amazing.

Stayed in hospital for a week with both because of complications.

Then when home, midwife came out to house to tend to baby and me for first four days, then it switched to a health visitor.

Supportive about breastfeeding but no pressure.

I thought the system was very good.

@Damntheman you can still get G&A in Norway, I just had a baby 6 weeks ago and used it. They just don’t like you to be holding on to it without actively using it while allowing the gas to pump out into the room. Are you in Rogaland? I might be mistaken but I thought Stavanger was the only hospital in Norway to have the attached barselhotell (and they are getting rid of it when they build the new hospital in 2022 ).

Interesting #instatwat! No I'm in Trøndelag. Definitely no G&A here and the barselhotell isn't going away any time soon. Thought that was country wide. Congrats on your baby!

Nitrous oxide is banned in quite a number of countries on environmental grounds.
I am sure it is only a matter of time before it happens here too.

I'm in the US and had my baby in a massive teaching hospital in NYC. Pretty much everyone is consultant led, but you can see midwives if you want - there's at least one midwife led practice in NYC.

From what I understand the big differences are that you see the same doctor for every appointment, so they get to know you really well. They also have a team of anesthetists on call who only do Obstetrics, so there's no chance of you not having an epidural if you want one. I had a c-section for a breech baby, but my hospital offers ECVs and is pro-VBAC. The idea of fighting for an epidural here, or having a long wait for one is practically unheard of.

I was very scared and stressed about giving birth and had terrible prenatal anxiety and depression, and was referred straight to a therapist who I saw weekly for 6 months. My doctor also sat me down and we worked out a plan so I could have a birth I wouldn't dread - an induction with an immediate epidural. You can elect to have a c-section, but there's a high chance your insurance won't cover it if it's not deemed "medically necessary" .

We also don't have post-natal wards. In NYC you might share a room with one other person if they're really busy, but most places are all private rooms post-birth. The baby rooms in with you - although there is a nursery you can use if you need a break. I had my baby with me the whole time, did skin to skin, immediate breastfeeding etc.

Unsurprisingly Norway sounds amazing

Canada here and it was all about the drugs, no problem getting a section, incredible surgeon, obgyn, etc. Aftercare was a bit brusque though -

I am moving to Norway immediately

In the Netherlands there are options for home birth or a kind of midwife led unit attached to a hospital or the hospital. They expect you to be driven to the hospital by a partner or taxi, no ambulance unless it's an emergency. In most hospitald you can choose to have gas and air, pethidine or an epidural (and no doubt some other options that I forgot). More and more people choose an epidural but there still also is a large group of women who feel that they are more special if they have a drug free natural birth. There are pools available, but not enough and too often they end up not being used due to a zillion reasons. Most women give birth on their backs but other options like a birthing chair are available.

C section on maternal request is not possible, at all. You give birth vaginally unless the consultant decides that is a medical need for a c section (and being anxious or having a previous difficult birth doesn't count). After going home the health visitor checks on you daily for the first week or so, does necessary housework, cooks for you, checks your stitches, makes tea for visitors, et cetera. She (almost always a she) is there pure for the mothers needs and that includes the mother not having to vacuum or cook or get up for tea.

The visitors who visit the new baby (in the first six weeks or so) tradionally get offered to eat a kind of biscuit with some butter and sweet aniseed sprinkles on it, either in pink or blue.

The UK has a very biblical approach that fetishises women's suffering and I find it creepy as hell. I definitely prefer the French approach, no medals for being a martyr.

I think my cats have it sussed and would like to do it like them next time , late at night no fuss the 2 females help each other generally on my bed as they seem to like me to talk them through labour . Its calm quiet relatively quick and very calm

I am so glad i had my children years ago, one scan ( no pictures) no birth plan, just a packed bag, in to hospital when the contractions started, Dad was allowed in if Mum wanted him to be there, pain relief if requested, baby taken in to the nursery overnight and you were woken when baby needed feeding, 5 days in hospital with 2 hours of visiting a day and only 2 visitors by the bed at a time.
It was bliss, baby was allowed a quiet introduction to the world and Mum got to rest.

@cavabiensepasser totally agree about the UK and their biblical approach, they absolutely fetishize natural childbirth. Unfortunately I learned the hard way, not a fan😂
I'm from Ireland, more of a pragmatic approach like other places mentioned. From what friends and relatives say it sounds like a half-way house between practice in the UK and the US.

I quite agree about the UK fetish for natural birth. My DD has EdS and was dislocating all her joints like crazy for the last month of pregnancy. Despite having agreed an elected caesarean with the consultant, the midwives who admitted her were still pushing her to have a natural birth.

Norway sounds amazing! Love the maternity & paternity package

Denmark is a mix of Sweden and Noway by the sounds of it.

I got a tray with a flag and sandwiches and a litre of squash. The flag is because its a birthday and you always raise the flag on your birthday.

The Dad is expected to buy a mor-barn bouquet which is a big bunch of flowers attached to a little one with ribbon.

There are some patient hotels. Ive used 2 hospitsls and one had one. Dh stayed there overnight with all the other dads. There is a door thst connects to the post natal ward.

Both times I gave birth an incredibly good looking man appeared at some point during the process

When youve had a baby a wooden stork with a cloth nappy containing a doll appears outside your house. There is a ribbon in either pink or blue.

I had 2 babies in the UK and couldn't have done it without gas and air. I have problems with my back that would have made an epidural more difficult but add that with my absolute fear of needles there was no way I would have been able to have one, I couldn't have a water birth with either one (which was what I wanted) because I had to be monitored due to gestational diabetes with my first and induction with my second.
My first labour wasn't too bad but my second only lasted an hour and a half and was killer.
I told the midwife from very early on that I didnt want an epidural and wanted it in my notes, but they kept trying to persuade me to, the line but what if you need a c-section kept coming up. In the end I just agreed with them and told my DH not to let them near me with an epidural.
The care for first time mums isn't brilliant in the UK in my experience, they tried to send me home because, "it is your first and will probably be a very long time yet", if I had gone home and waited until the point they wanted me to go back in, I wouldn't have made it back and would have given birth in my MIL's car, plus as I have already mentioned I was supposed to be monitored throughout as I had gestational diabetes and could very easily had complications. The midwife wouldn't listen to me or my DH when we said no and only listened to my MIL. When I told her I needed to push she told me I didn't and walked off, it was only because I shouted at my DH to get her back as another midwife was going passed and asked what was wrong and checked me to see my DD was crowning that my midwife actually came back.
I had much better care with my second, no one tried to force me into anything and they actually listened to me.

@cavabiensepasser Couldn't agree more. I'm appalled when I hear of people being denied pain relief and see needing an epidural or intervention as a failure.

I love the stories from those of you who have given birth in Scandinavia and Germany. Almost makes me want another if I could have them there :)