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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She was slapped

62 replies

GrannyBags · 04/02/2020 20:41

I’m being made to feel that I’m over reacting to this but I’m sure I’m not! My niece was slapped by another girl on the school bus today. Apparently she was being annoying and the other girl got cross. My SIL is playing it down. She doesn’t want to talk to either the school or the other girl’s parents. I am very concerned- I’ve never slapped anyone in my life and I can’t see that letting this girl get away with it is the right thing. Most normal people don’t react to getting cross with someone by slapping them across the face do they? My son was a witness but wants to stay out of it. I can understand him feeling like this but surely the adults should do something?

OP posts:
starlight86 · 04/02/2020 20:42

What age is she?

BecauseReasons · 04/02/2020 20:42

How old are the kids involved?

bluebell34567 · 04/02/2020 20:42

surely the adults should do something? definitely.

Sexnotgender · 04/02/2020 20:43

The adults should definitely do something. Your poor niece. It certainly should be investigated.

puds11 · 04/02/2020 20:43

Why does age matter? Assault is assault regardless of age Hmm

I’d report it.

GruciusMalfoy · 04/02/2020 20:44

What age is she? What was she doing to be annoying? Annoying but minding her own business? Or in the other girl's face?

If her mum doesn't want to take it further perhaps she has a reason, and knows her daughter has form for this.

5zeds · 04/02/2020 20:44

If she’s over ten I’d say it’s up to your niece, if she’s under up to her mother. You weren’t there. Can’t you trust them to manage their own lives?

Ponoka7 · 04/02/2020 20:45

In what way was your niece being annoying?

Original poster
GrannyBags · 04/02/2020 20:45

They are 12. My niece was singing ‘in an annoying way’ according to my son.

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 04/02/2020 20:46

Your Sil/DN account is DN was ‘annoying’, I’d be thinking with Sil playing it down that her DD isn’t innocent in this and there’s far more to it.

ButterflyBitch · 04/02/2020 20:46

I was slapped when I was at secondary school. By some who decided that me arguing with my own sister wasn’t on. I don’t think I even told my mum about it but I’m still pissed off after all these years that I let her get away with it. It’s not on. For any reason.

Snailandthewhale · 04/02/2020 20:46

My niece was punched in the face by one girl, had her hair pulled from behind by another all whilst it was being filmed then shared on social media. This happened on the school bus and the girls were suspended for ONE day! 13 year old girls.

School didn't want to know, girls parents said it was for the school to deal with!

So sorry for your bribe, it shouldn't just be swept under the carpet. I hope it's reported and the school come down hard on her.

It's assault 😡

Snailandthewhale · 04/02/2020 20:48

Bribe?! Niece

Original poster
GrannyBags · 04/02/2020 20:50

The examples from PP just make me feel even more strongly that this shouldn’t be swept under the carpet. If you get away with slapping this time, what are you going to do next time?

OP posts:
BecauseReasons · 04/02/2020 20:50

Why does age matter? Assault is assault regardless of age

Under age ten they're under the age of criminal responsibility.

TeddybearBaby · 04/02/2020 20:50

Op I’d be as horrified as you!! Doesn’t matter what she was doing, there’s never an excuse for assault (unless it’s self defence obvs)

@Snailandthewhale that’s awful!! Your poor niece! Happened to my 13 year old too. School didn’t even give a detention!! I reported to the police 😡

5zeds · 04/02/2020 20:51

How old is she

Original poster
GrannyBags · 04/02/2020 20:52

They are all 12

OP posts:
Mammatino · 04/02/2020 20:54

You don't send your kids to school to be assaulted. If your sister is worried about confronting the other girls parents, things can be done in a calm way. They need to find out exactly what happened. I suppose it could have been done in a silly playful way (no actual contact), like miming a "if you don't stop it I will slap you"
mimicking slapping isn't OK or nice. If it was an open handed whack then it's definately not an OK response to someone getting on your nerves abit. There's always that little part of you that wonders why a child's go to response is violence, where did they learn that.

Original poster
GrannyBags · 04/02/2020 20:55

It was a proper slap - it left a mark

OP posts:
Snailandthewhale · 04/02/2020 20:56

@TeddybearBaby my sister went to the police too and they We're just as useless!
She threatened the school with going to the papers and only then did they start to cooperate.

I

Mammatino · 04/02/2020 21:00

Jesus!!! That's a hard slap. That's a violent assault. I don't even know where to go to, to start getting this sorted. It's so difficult that your sis doesn't want to do anything, could you speak to DN father and see if he will take it further. Unfortunately as PP say this kind of awfulness happens alot and gets ignored. I hope it works out OK for DN, poor kid, tell her to get some new friends.

TeddybearBaby · 04/02/2020 21:01

Police were useless too @Snailandthewhale. I was beside myself. All 3 of them admitted they did it for no reason and you could see it on the video as well. I felt so helpless and just couldn’t understand why a school would want to give a message of it being ok to this kids! Baffling.

I wanted to take it further but my son begged me not to, said he just wanted to move on. It still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Mittens030869 · 04/02/2020 21:04

It isn't relevant whether or not your niece was being annoying. She may well have been, as a 12 year old. It wasn't an excuse for another child to slap her. The only thing that would make her deserve it would be if she'd hurt the other child first.

lljkk · 04/02/2020 21:05

I wouldn't give a child a criminal record over this.
What do YOU want to happen, OP?