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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woke up late so gave kids a day off

658 replies

queenjolo29 · 04/02/2020 09:44

I'm feeling kinda guilty not sure why has they are my children after all, but i forgot to set my alarm last night, didn't wake up till 9 which I might add never happens at the weekend lol. So I thought fuck it give kids a day off.. Please tell me I am not the only one who has done this. They don't have days off unless ill but that's rare. I feel strangely guilty 🤔🤔

OP posts:
LettertoHermoine · 04/02/2020 18:01

They will be the kids that grow up thinking the world owes them a living. Always trying to claim benefits etc etc. You learn your behaviour from your parents.

For ONE MISSED DAY.....?? WTF are you on?

MimiLaRue · 04/02/2020 18:01

Geez. Parent of the year right here. Yikes

RandomUser3049 · 04/02/2020 18:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Drabarni · 04/02/2020 18:04

They will be the kids that grow up thinking the world owes them a living. Always trying to claim benefits etc etc. You learn your behaviour from your parents.

From missing one day at school Confused

They might be the kids who grow up to find work they enjoy rather than any old job that comes along. They may question the status quo, which is a great thing.

Or, more likely they won't remember the duvet day they had as 3 and 5 year olds. Nursery isn't compulsory, you know.

Fivetillmidnight · 04/02/2020 18:06

Yep, no problem. Did this a few times. One working in the city as a graduate.
One working as a chef in a 5* rated restaurant. One on track for 2As and a B...

Don't sweat it. The eldest is 5 !!!

Harakeke · 04/02/2020 18:09

Wow the answers on this thread!! I'm planning to take mine out of school for two weeks this year to visit grandparents across the world - guess I won't be starting a thread about that!

Hope you had a nice day off OP.

ilovesooty · 04/02/2020 18:10

There's a world of difference between the opinion that one day off isn't going to have a profound effect on educational attainment and saying that school is just glorified childcare as one previous poster claimed.

DodgeRainClouds · 04/02/2020 18:11

Massive overreactions and some ridiculous comments on this post! Your daughter is 5 not 15. As long as it wasn’t a regular occurrence then who cares! (I work in a school by the way)

icedgem85 · 04/02/2020 18:12

I haven’t done this but I did do it when I was sick once. My partner had gone to work and I was just too sick to take them. I have woken up late before on a Monday and we’d had a packed weekend so kids were tired too. I took them in at 1030. Better that than miss a whole day, although I’ve been tempted so many times!

JosefKeller · 04/02/2020 18:13

I'm planning to take mine out of school for two weeks this year to visit grandparents across the world

that's not the same at all though

Toomuchtrouble4me · 04/02/2020 18:13

It's really fine, they are so young.
I've done it a few times, oldest two now both at excellent Uni's - The world won't end but you'll get slated on here, everyone is perfect.

Dillydallyingthrough · 04/02/2020 18:13

I didn't realise until this thread how hysterical MN is. I took my DD out of school during primary school a couple of times a year for the odd day. It was planned rather than slept in but realistically the result was the same she missed a day of school. We used to go to all kinds of places and it was lovely - her teachers knew and were positive about it (maybe because I tried to take her to places linked to what they were learning for example an tutankhamun exhibition when they were learning about ancient Egypt). We both look back on these days fondly.

Shes 15 now and had had 100% attendance the last 3 years, never been late, gets herself up and to school every day and manages her schoolwork herself (never have to ask if its done, as it always is on the day it is set) and is predicted 11 9's at GCSE so I really don't think it did her too much harm.

Molly2017 · 04/02/2020 18:13

I’ve said this before and got flamed but I absolutely do not want my 5 year old to think school is optional. If I had done this then guaranteed everyday for the rest of the school year I would get ‘when are you going to lie in again Mummy’ or ‘I wish we were having a day at home together again Mummy’ on repeat. Every morning. There’s no way she wouldn’t realise she was supposed to be at school.
Plus the teachers drill it into her that you only miss school if you are sick so I think she would be worried she was going to get into trouble.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 04/02/2020 18:16

itsgoodtobehome Tue 04-Feb-20 17:54:48
They will be the kids that grow up thinking the world owes them a living. Always trying to claim benefits etc etc. You learn your behaviour from your parents.

Seriously???
Get a grip.

spongejack · 04/02/2020 18:19

@itsgoodtobehome are you having a laugh? As I said to PP have you misread the first post? It's ONE day not a month.

Honestly it's those sort of ridiculous opinions that one day is going to make them claim all the benefits and think that the world owes them a living that makes MN ridiculous!

Are you always prone to such drama?

firstimemamma · 04/02/2020 18:21

Yabu from a former teacher.

opticaldelusion · 04/02/2020 18:23

Guilt can be a very useful emotion. Often tells you when you've made a terrible decision.

spatchcock · 04/02/2020 18:24

"Will you be complaining how unfair it is when they miss out on their attendance awards because they were "only off one day"?"

"Unless you take them to visit some attraction or others, it sounds like a complete waste of a day."

"They will be the kids that grow up thinking the world owes them a living. Always trying to claim benefits etc etc."

These responses are absolutely hysterical. Grin

Couchpotato3 · 04/02/2020 18:24

Haven't read all the responses, but I did this occasionally with my three - for various reasons (including me needing a break) they all needed the odd day off. Hasn't held them back in life or resulted in a crap work ethic - 2 are successful graduates and the third is currently working his socks off at Oxbridge - they all have a healthy work-life balance. Job's a goodun'. Do what feels right for you and yours and ignore the naysayers!

BatShite · 04/02/2020 18:26

I used to specifically stay as silent as possible on a morning, hoping my mums alarm wouldn't go off so I could get a day off...never happened though Grin

I think you are slightly unreasonable tbh. I would have just got ready and put them in late. However, our school is totally anal about even being 5 mins late, so I get why some parents might just not bother. Apparently, even being 5 mins late (yet before the register) goes down as a missed 'session'..also telling them that they were late as I didn't wake up would not be accepted as a reason for absence, or lateness. This happened to me once actually. I had alarms set but slept through them, I had just had a major operation and was recovering but obviously kids still had to go to school as the world does not stop spinning when I am ill. I got totally bollocked off the school, and DS wasn't even there at that stage and DD was in nursery! Would hate to see how they go on when they are in proper school..so glad its not happened yet!

larrygrylls · 04/02/2020 18:27

Generally I think the routine is very important but, in reception, a bit less so.

I think the odd day off is not a big deal but you are giving yourself a rod to beat yourself with. When she says she is tired and does not want to get up, how will you make her go to school?

EerieSilence · 04/02/2020 18:28

At that age? Fuck it, children sometimes needs a day off too. Why not.
Don't be put on a guilt trip by those who believe that you need to drag your child to school even if it's suffering from Black Death.

Birdgirl67 · 04/02/2020 18:28

Ooooo ur so irresponsible.. sod off to everyone who said that. Sine days its good to have a rest and get away from the every day wheels of life
Hope u all enjoyed a day of doing nothing

lilmishap · 04/02/2020 18:37

@queenjolo29 have you heard from their dad? I have a very similar ex he followed me hundreds of miles and continued 'seeing the kids' in my house, he also stopped 'seeing the kids' when I said he could'nt see me as part of it.

Codependency is painful shit and I get really fucking depressed at times, the isolation and fuck it, the unfairness of being the one stuck in the house with no one to reach out to while he goes off living his life.

I have sat up drinking and crying till the early hours and struggled to get the kids into school, but you do it, because if anyone does start looking at you, the depression and hopelessness you describe in other posts will make this day off look like something far more sinister.

This applies to me as much as you, the difference is I am already on the radar because of a childhood in care, a drunken ex and then DS2s health, SS spotted the depression and isolation combined with everything else but thankfully recognised I was coming out of a shitty relationship and establishing boundaries

I was fucking lucky that I had the SS warning or I promise you mine would have had days off because I didn't get out of my pit in time.

You feel guilty because you know this was not a duvet day. You don't need to justify anything but for the love of god, listen to the people on this thread who can see it for what it is. If they do start looking at you, they will see lots of issues.

Why did you post this on MN? Other women would have kept it quiet but you posted publicly on a site where you have NAMED your daughter.

waterlego · 04/02/2020 18:44

I feel that all the people who have mentioned having a rest day or a MH day are missing the point that this day off was not for the child’s benefit, but for the parent’s. Sure, the children will no doubt have enjoyed it, but I think it’s selfish, personally.

My kids love school- why would I deprive them of that? And for kids that don’t love school, aren’t you just setting yourself up for lots of nagging for another day off, as Molly said.

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