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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Heading for a mental breakdown depending on tomorrow

491 replies

WhyThisLife · 02/02/2020 16:01

Probably not the right section for this but with the traffic AIBU gets, here I am!

I'd like to ask for a handhold, some group support, a chat etc... As I prepare for my hospital appointment tomorrow.

I have been struggling with fertility issues for a while now and I am currently pregnant. Tomorrow is the scan where I find out if this is viable or not (I've had quite a few previously where I've been told they aren't and had to have D&C's or surgery etc...).

It's all taking its toll now and it's taking all my strength to go in that room willingly tomorrow and not being dragged kicking and screaming. I hate being there, I hate watching people coming out before me all happy and going over to the machine to pay for their scan photos, I hate the look on the nurses faces as soon as they can see on the screen and their 'im very sorry' voices when they tell me again, I hate being walked out and put in the 'quiet room' and seeing everyone's sympathetic faces in the waiting room because they know why.

I am seriously concerned about how I will be tomorrow if it's the same news. I am so so so fed up. I feel like I'm heading for some sort of breakdown but I can't bring myself to give up either.

I don't want to worry DH too much (although he does know how I'm feeling), so can I trouble you all for some support/conversation please? I feel so jittery and restless waiting for tomorrow.

OP posts:
ZaphodBeeblerox · 03/02/2020 10:00

Oh OP - I wish you the very best! I've had several heartbreaking losses, and I know the pain. I hope this is your year, and this scan and pregnancy go very well!

Gazelda · 03/02/2020 10:03

My hand is still holding yours OP, for as long as you need it. Thinking of you today xx

MummaGiles · 03/02/2020 10:03

Thinking of you today OP

TheBuggerlugs · 03/02/2020 10:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/02/2020 10:05

Thinking of you, WhythisLife - hope that you're ok Thanks

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/02/2020 10:05

Good luck, WhythisLife Flowers

RaccoonEyes · 03/02/2020 10:06

Good luck today 🍀

baubled · 03/02/2020 10:06

I can't begin to imagine the pain you've been through, fingers crossed that today is your day xx

RhitaGawr · 03/02/2020 10:11

Thinking of you, Flowers

cjt110 · 03/02/2020 10:29

Thinking of you x

GrasswillbeGreener · 03/02/2020 10:41

Another sending best wishes and support your way. Wishing you strength whichever outcome today brings.

My mother had various issues carrying us and I remain very aware that I was her last try - after 6 or 7 losses, not all early, (I think) she was ready to give up. Wonderfully she went on to have my younger sister, but we were both delivered several weeks early.

katmarie · 03/02/2020 10:54

Thinking of you op, wishing you all the strength in the world.

thewalrus · 03/02/2020 11:05

Hoping for good news for you, and wishing you strength whatever the outcome is today. It's horrible going to the clinic expecting the worst. Thinking of you.

Incontinencesucks · 03/02/2020 11:06

Good luck for today. I hope today is a good day

burblish · 03/02/2020 11:09

Thinking of you, OP, and sending all good wishes your way Flowers

kmammamalto · 03/02/2020 11:12

Best of luck today xx

Supertrooper98 · 03/02/2020 11:14

I hope you've got good news OP x

Pleasegodgotosleep · 03/02/2020 11:19
Flowers
Maighdeann · 03/02/2020 11:26
Thanks
Winstonwolfe · 03/02/2020 11:38

Wishing you the very best of luck today op Flowers

SkySmiler · 03/02/2020 11:47

Tight handhold x

Therarestone · 03/02/2020 11:49

Thinking of you Flowers

MulticolourMophead · 03/02/2020 11:49

💐

ladycarlotta · 03/02/2020 11:50

Thinking of you, OP. I've had a string of 3 miscarriages, like you losing them around the 6 week mark, and yes it was fucking rinsing to keep going through it and daring to hope, each time, that things might be different, while dully expecting that they would be the same. I cannot imagine the toll 8 in a row must feel. Don't let anybody dismiss it: it is its own kind of pain and it does not need to be compared to ANYTHING to be made valid.

Finally I got to a 7-week scan and saw a foetal pole with a heartbeat, and somehow that little heartbeat is my 11-month-old baby now, although it took me a long long time to accept that she was really alive and coming into my life. I was certain I would lose her as I had the others. This pattern CAN change. I really hope your scan went well today.

MotherofTerriers · 03/02/2020 11:56

A hand hold from me too. I've been there, and ended up with 2 healthy children. Hoping you get good news

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