AIBU to ask for the PFB/newborn panics & preciousness that you look back and laugh on now?

[Dennisreynoldsduster]

As a first time mum I’ve been a bundle of neurotic anxieties, and found myself warming wipes, worrying that DS has a million things wrong with him, studying the contents of nappies with rather more attention that I’d expected..

So as I’m about to do the night shift with a rather awake baby, can I ask you to share the precious first born behaviours and anxieties that you look back on rather fondly or laugh about now?

I think its pretty normal to be a bit anxious with a newborn and/or your first baby. You spend a day (or 7) in hospital and then suddenly you are at home with your baby likely asleep in its car seat from the journey and thinking 'wtf I am actually responsible for a WHOLE OTHER PERSON'.
It does calm down and you realise that you don't need to watch them sleep to check they are breathing...

Though the sleep deprivation was tough, I remember being actually unable to count to 5 one night when trying to make up a bottle of formula and after 3 attempts and never being quite sure I'd got it right I woke my partner to do it.

ah @Winterwoollies forgive me, wasn't intending to be mean x

As others have said OP please please get help if you feel your anxiety is worse than it should.

I had PNA. My doctor told me i was fine. But he didn't see the day I was sobbing on my stairs on my knees because my DH had offered to take the baby for a nap and he woke him up because he didn't do EXACTLY what i told him to do.
His sleep was my absolute life obsession. I've never experienced anything like it and I feel so sad looking back that I didnt shout louder.

Having said that- the time i googled 'can my baby have too many leafy green vegetables' is a time I can happily laugh at myself for!

Why on earth do people who haven't had children come on to tell those that have what they see doing wrong?

Where do you get off?

I saw some parents at the park today with their PFB. I was pushing DS on the swing and their 2ish year old toddled over. They had a brief debate about which way to put him on, one way he would have a nice view of the park but the sun in his eyes, the other a view of the bushes but no sun in his eyes. They opted for the bushes. They stood one behind and one in front and took it in turns pushing very gently. The toddler starts laughing and giggling and the mum says 'it's OK to laugh if you want to PFB but you don't have to laugh just to please us'
Bless them but I did involuntarily snort.

When I was still in hospital one of the HCPs accidentally tipped a plastic bowl of water over DS head. He started crying probably because of all the cold water In his face and I asked the midwife to get the consultant to check his head. There wasn't so much as a mark on his face never mind the extensive brain damage I was convinced he had.

That's just reminded me, I need to get a move on with the medical malpractice law suit I told them I was considering .

I have many many more, but I suffer with anxiety, so I do realise most of the time how ridiculous I'm being. I'm going to have to be sedated when they're old enough to start going out drinking.

Put oldest nephew down on the floor to change him. He was about three months old. Realised I had no wipes left and nipped into the kitchen to get some. Was gone less than 15 seconds. Came back and he's vanished. Mad panic until I realised he'd rolled under the coffee table and was laying there quietly happily watching the cat.

Love the threat of the lawsuit

Triple sterilised everything that went near DSs mouth. I was genuinely nearly sick when one of the dad's I knew vaguely put his finger in DS mouth when he was 8 weeks old. I didn't know what to do. Went home from the playgroup and cried because of all the foreign germs that were now clearly coursing through my baby's system.

He's 3 and I still sit in the back with him for car journeys, never occurred to me not to.

I still regularly check he's breathing, I thought this was standard behaviour

I thought I was going to be quite strict and routine based. I was baby led everything, sleep, food, feeding, everything. You never know what kind of a parent you're going to be, regardless of your intentions (its the baby that decides anyway)

When ds1was a few days old he had a little rash on his chin , I was convinced it was meningitis and rushed him to.A&E they were very kind and gave us open access to the children's ward but ds was an otherwise healthy new born with a slight rash apparently new borns can get rashes , a few weeks later he fell out of his car seat onto the floor few inches ,again rushed him to A&E again he was fine and than when he was about ten months I had gone back to work after mat leave , on nights ( mental health nurse) when I got home one morning he seemed to be choking a bit on something ,I think he swallowed a bit of fluff DH called 999,or course when they got there ds was happy and bouncy and trying to grab the stethoscope 😁

My wonderful DIL on leaving DGD with us for the first time at about 3 months old. Gave me a 2 page A4 list of routines and instructions on how to care for a baby.

I have been a nursery nurse, childminder and nanny for 43 years.

I smiled nicely and read it in front of her then tucked it away.

Found it the other day and gave it back to her. She sat and roared with laughter. DGD is 3 now 😆

@CameronG your post reminded me of how crazy I felt too, except I was convinced I’d die. DD was only about 5 days old but I’d literally only had 4-5 hours sleep since she was born. We were finally at home with no visitors and DH told me to go to bed, he’d watch DD and wake me up when she needed feeding. I kept saying no I was fine, because I was completely and totally convinced that if I went to bed and slept, that I would die and he’d bring in my hungry baby and find me dead. It sounds so ridiculous but I was terrified and thought the only thing I could do was stay awake. I did end up telling DH what I was feeling because he knew something was wrong. He ended up coming in the bedroom and sitting on the bed next to me while I slept and promised he’d watch me. After a few times of doing this I felt so much better (probably because I was finally getting sleep!) and that horrible feeling went away. I remember being terrified though so know what you mean about it.

On a less awful note - after those initial crazy weeks I did have some silly first time Mum moments! Best one was probably when I went to A&E (on the advice of 111) because I was worried about her breathing. She kept making this weird sound. Turns out she’d learned to sigh. . My 6 month old was bored of me and sighing. I must’ve been the laughing stock of A&E that night!

Shosta, one of my daughter in laws wouldn’t let her first baby have eye contact with anyone not even her or husband, after 6 o clock in the evening. So that baby would know it was nighttime. I think it came from one of the baby books
Like you I just nodded and followed the rules.
Baby didn’t follow the rule and the subsequent children didn’t have it applied to them
I once took my first son to a and e when he was just crawling because he ate a bit of sand.

Winterwoollies

You seem to be the most sensible person on here, when I peruse MN pages I am amazed at the lengths people go to!

My wonderful DIL on leaving DGD with us for the first time at about 3 months old. Gave me a 2 page A4 list of routines and instructions on how to care

Oh, I forgot I did this as well.
In my defence, I have twins who were tag teaming sleep. I was a slave to the routine to get them to sleep at the same time. Fair play to my mum, she did it. Or she ticked everything off the list seconds after I left and did her own Thing. I'm probably best off not knowing which.

Thanks for sharing your tales! I feel like I’m in good company now

I remember finding on a previous thread that someone else also was convinced that an eagle would swoop down and grab their baby out of the pram. I was so glad it wasn't just me that had that thought! Dc1 only used the pram about 3 times anyway and we live in a busy town that isn't known for its wildlife.

When I was pregnant I was going to put baby in their room at 3 months old, sleep train, they would have a bottle every 4 hours (using the perfect prep that I bought before ttc), I'd go back to work full-time at 3 months, etc. That didn't happen. Dc1 was only moved when I was pregnant with dc2 (who is 20 months and still cosleeping), no sleep training, breastfed and the longest possible maternity leave I could have. Nothing went how I thought it would.

I was convinced that new born DS should have a fresh sleep suit for bedtime even if it was exactly the same as the one he was already wearing and the original one was totally clean. Like I didn't have enough washing or something. I remember at some point thinking "what am I doing??"

DH was concerned that we shouldn't push the pram over cobbles...this would have meant avoiding an entire street.

I was convinced that new born DS should have a fresh sleep suit for bedtime even if it was exactly the same as the one he was already wearing and the original one was totally clean. Like I didn't have enough washing or something. I remember at some point thinking "what am I doing??"

Same

@MsChatterbox
You win!!

@CaptainButtock my mother laughed at me then admitted she did the same thing

Did you have any medicine during labour? That’s interesting, a lot of labour medication can make you hallucinate. I remember seeing lots of tiny white men walking outside, and talking about it with everyone, turned out they had just been seagulls lol... Labour was wild! Never felt so scared, it wasn’t even that painful, I just got paranoid with the gas and air for some reason.

For WEEKS after I brought my (amazing sleeper) of a baby home I woke him up nearly hourly by taking his temperature cos I couldn't work out if he was too hot or too cold. Had 3 thermometers in bedroom and wasted hours of time I could have been sleeping googling how many layers babies should wear at night. 3 years in and I'm like, meh, he'll wake if he's cold!
I also, and this is mortifying as it was a complete misuse of the NHS, called a dr out one night when we were staying at a caravan park. Baby had coughed a few times in his sleep and I was convinced he had 'dry drowning' cos hed got water on his face in the swimming pool.

DH and I mutually convinced ourselves we'd given newborn DS1 hypothermia. It was the first night we had him home and I woke in the middle of the night and panicked that we'd left the window above his sidecar cot open a crack, and a light breeze was coming in. For context, it was July, in a heat-wave, and we were in an attic room that felt like an oven. He was wearing a cotton sleepsuit while DH and I were both sleeping on top of the covers in just pants and sweltering. But when I touched his hand it was slightly cool, and then I found him 'difficult to rouse' probably because he'd been fast asleep and I woke DH sobbing. He panicked too and we quickly got under the duvet with the baby on DH's chest to try to revive him with body heat while we debated whether to call 111 or just take him straight to A&E. Luckily before we'd reached a decision DS got thoroughly fed up with being sweated on and being attached to the wrong parent, and the wailing convinced us he had made a miraculous recovery. Still amazed we all didn't get heatstroke.

@Bouncingbelle I did EXACTLY the same about temperature. Also nearly took him to the GP last week because he coughed a bit in his sleep and then again after feeding. Luckily DH talked me out of it.

I also cried last week because he’s very fair and has a noticeable vein on one side of his head where he doesn’t have much hair. I was initially worried it meant something was wrong, then cried because you could see it in the photo I’d just taken of him and I was worried his hair would never grow there and it would always be visible. In my defence I was very tired and even a few hours later I realised how mad I was being!