To think this is shallow

[damaged888]

Newly dating... been on a few dates, he seems keen, going well, been talking for a while.
He asked me what sort of clothes I like to wear.. and do I wear skirts.

So he's met me a few times so he has seen what I wear... is this a hint he likes skirts?! I dunno why but I found this a turn off. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, probably am as my relationship before this a few years ago was an abusive one. I just feel like it means he likes a certain type of look!!

I didn't like it anyway so haven't replied. Am I being over sensitive? Be honest I want honest opinions.

Bin him.

Icky. Made me feel ew. Trust your gut. Sack it off.

I was afraid that would be the case. Shame because I like him, but yeah it's made me feel icky too!

Such a weird, specific question.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable? Then don't see him anymore. Not worth it.

It's a red flag for me. How odd. A few dates and wants to know if you wear skirts? It leads me to think he might have some expectations about how you should look and dress, which smacks of someone with control issues.

It's a tough call. It might have been an innocent, albeit weird, comment, but it makes me uneasy. Little alarm bells are ringing.

It’s an opener to “model one of your sorts for me” “got any short ones?” “Take a photo with you bending over in it”

Same thing If he asks what sorts of shoes you wear.

Hmm. I had similar. Turned out he wanted short skirts, high heels type. So not me, I like to look nice & smart, but that look isn't for me. His ideal woman would be off TOWIE.

Yeah it's definitely made me feel uncomfortable. I've worn jeans every time we have met... I'm suppose to be seeing him tonight but now I feel self conscious.

JuanSheetIsPlenty - it then progresses to ''wear one without any knickers for me"

If it is short skirts and heels type he's got the wrong girl!!

JuanSheetIsPlenty - it then progresses to ''wear one without any knickers for me"

Yep!

Trust and follow your instincts. If you're feeling uneasy, you know you should end it. Cancel the date and move on.

Yuck.

I had a guy like this once. It started off him asking why I didn’t wear high heels. The next week it was why I don’t wear nail varnish. Then could I start wearing my hair down as he preferred it. Could I also stop swearing as he said it was unladylike.

It wasn’t until I left I realised just how much he criticised and controlled my appearance. I’m not saying this is the same as your guy but just keep an eye on it! Also if you want to wear jeans, wear jeans, I wear them every day (something else he picked up on) by the end he was even telling me off for not using commas in texts

Cancel the date.

Mabey he wanted to buy you a gift?

I don't think he wanted to buy me a gift! I think he just wanted to know if I wear skirts 🙄. It's made me feel self conscious. Almost like he expects me to make more effort

I was hoping I'd be told I was over thinking it and overreacting because I like him. Never mind!! You are all right I need to trust my instincts

My gut feeling is that this is weird and icky but...
Have you been going to nice places? I have a friend who wears jeans everywhere and she has embarrassed me wearing them to somewhere formal once where it reflected on me (business related). My only thought is that when you're newly dating you might be going to nice places where jeans aren't quite right. He might be trying to give you a hint, however clumsy.
But yes probably icky, just reminded me of my friend when you said you'd only warn jeans.

*worn

Oh and I had a "do you like wearing boots" one.

I didn't answer him as was busy and he followed up (a string of messages all unanswered before I blocked him) offering to pay me to wear boots and send pictures of it. Nope nope nope.

Though now it's self assessment tax return day and I may have made a mistake turning it down 😂

@YellWat no just pubs and cafes and for walks so nowhere fancy. He was wearing jeans all the time too. Feel like asking him the same bloody question.

Don't bother asking for justification. You have just gotten out of an abusive relationship. Learn from it and don't risk finding yourself in another one.

Why not say something like “yes sometimes / no never - why do you ask?”

It does seem a bit odd but he might be asking for some other reason, like a dress code for somewhere he would like to go with you. He might be into skirts not jeans and then you’d know at least to leave him to it if not your thing. But asking him will tell you more than asking here!

icky it is then!!
(and I think that could be an interesting response!)