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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman had no business being at a toddler group?

99 replies

LondonUnited · 31/01/2020 12:20

Took my baby and toddler to a local Leisure Centre group this morning - basically soft play and some gymnastics kit. Also there and sitting next to us was a mum, toddler and older child wearing the uniform of the local school.

I overheard the mum telling someone that the older child had been sick in the playground and wasn’t allowed to go to school because of the 48 hour rule. She added that her toddler ‘didn’t want to miss out’ so they had decided to come anyway! The older child then sat there looking peaky.

We’ve previously had two ambulance trips due to vomiting bugs so I may be prone to overreact but really - taking a vomity 5 year old to a toddler group? AIBU to think they should have just gone home?

OP posts:

Sucksfake1 · 31/01/2020 13:19

The OP's DC/s could have any underlying condition.

My son has one and twice we've been blue lighted for "common" conditions. Average healthy child wouldn't of been. Both times he couldn't breath, hospital 40 minutes away by car so basically ambulance containing desperately needed oxygen and paramedics with a hell of a better chance performing successful cpr then me or probable death.

DS is two with chronic lung disease but you wouldn't know looking at him.

YANBU btw I nearly ended up in a bust up in the nursery queue after listening to some silly cow complain her son had been sick 8 times but she was sending him in cos she needed a break. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Original poster

LondonUnited · 31/01/2020 13:21

Just to clarify that I don’t call ambulances for nothing: DC1 has a congenital heart defect, caught norovirus at 6 weeks old and stopped breathing. Was resuscitated and admitted to hospital for 4 days, on oxygen etc.

DC2 vomited one evening then refused bedtime milk. Couldn’t be woken the following morning as was unconscious due to low blood sugars. Was admitted to hospital for two days and tested for metabolic disorders (all clear thankfully so looks like it was just random bad luck)

Because of the above I have horrendous anxiety about these bugs and coming into contact with them but not sure if others think it’s fine and dandy to be out and about if it’s just a bit of vomiting.

Group leader would have known about vomity child as you pay on door on way in.

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 31/01/2020 13:24

It's very selfish and you should mention to the group leader that sick children of any age should not be in the toddler group.

1forsorrow · 31/01/2020 13:24

At our local school they've changed the 48 hr rule to 24 hrs. I assumed the advice generally had changed but it doesn't sound like it. I wonder why it has changed here?

Original poster

LondonUnited · 31/01/2020 13:25

Btw I did leave and am not sure I’ll be going back!

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 31/01/2020 13:27

LondonUnited

"Because of the above I have horrendous anxiety about these bugs and coming into contact with them but not sure if others think it’s fine and dandy to be out and about if it’s just a bit of vomiting." I am so sorry about what happened to your children. Of course you are concerned, and rightly so.

"Group leader would have known about vomity child as you pay on door on way in." then you need to raise it with the group for future reference. It is very bad practice. Presumably it is a local group run by volunteers or mum/dads and they are not thinking about this. They need to. It if it is a business, even more so, they should have a policy on it.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 31/01/2020 13:28

It's not rocket science, is it? If my DC are infectious, they come shopping with me so we have food in the house, apart from that, they stay at home. Toddlers are far more at risk.

Italiangreyhound · 31/01/2020 13:28

"Btw I did leave and am not sure I’ll be going back!" Do tell them and explain why. It was a selfish parent and a thoughtless mistake by the person at the door. you should not miss out because of it.

LisBethSalander07 · 31/01/2020 13:29

I'd have real issues with the group leader that allowed this, tbh.

Whattheother2catsprefer · 31/01/2020 13:34

Mine picked up a sickness bug aged three after three days of more or less constant vomiting and not even being able to keep water down my husband's called the GP who recommended that we took him to the local hospital for assessment which we did. It doesn't have a children's wards so we were sent to another hospital. Despite having driven to the local hospital and being willing and able to drive to the one we were referred to in the city my son was taken in a ambulance. He spent 36 hours there on a drip. No underlying medical condition, no 999 call from us but still am ambulance ride.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/01/2020 13:37

I hope that all the people who have called the OP selfish for calling an ambulance for a child with a vomiting bug will now read her update and apologise to her!!

PumpkinP · 31/01/2020 13:38

I don’t think anyone needs to apologise. She should have been clear on why an ambulance was called. You can’t blame pp for there comments when the op didn’t explain the situation.

TeddyIsaHe · 31/01/2020 13:40

If someone says they called an ambulance because of a sickness bug with no other information it’s fine to question that. Don’t be so dramatic.

Op glad your DCs are ok, and totally see why you’d be pissed off about it.

adaline · 31/01/2020 13:44

I hope that all the people who have called the OP selfish for calling an ambulance for a child with a vomiting bug will now read her update and apologise to her!!

I don't think anyone needs to apologise - if OP had included that information in her post then nobody would have queried it.

OP - YANBU. Hopefully your DC are okay

Straycatstrut · 31/01/2020 13:45

I called an ambulance for a vomiting bug with DS. He was 8 months, my first baby, his first illness. He just started throwing everything up, including his calpol and ibuprofen and water, and continued to burn up. His skin went blotchy, he then started retching and darker, brownish vomit came up. His eyes were rolling back and I had never been so terrified. I don't drive, was on my own and I rang 999 in tears. The ambulance was there in about 5 minutes. He was admitted straight away and put on a drip and literally could not keep anything down for a week - they kept trying him on dry toast and water. It was norovirus. So SO scary.

Bakedbrie · 31/01/2020 13:46

Agreed. Utterly selfish behaviour.

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 31/01/2020 13:50

Yeah, this is a weird thing to do. Either send the kid into school on the assumption that that the 48 hour rule is silly (wouldn't be my choice) or keep them home because they are contagious. Thinking that they shouldn't be in school but are fine to go to a toddler group makes no sense. She sounds like an idiot.

Shopkinsdoll · 31/01/2020 13:53

I went as an adult to A and E with stomach pains and sickness and diarrhoea. Couldn’t handle pain and longer. I have a high pain threshold and still couldn’t handle it. Was given morphine, what a relief.
Anyway someone should have told the mother to get the feck home with the little girl. Poor child being dragged out when she should have been tucked up in bed by a thick idiot of a mother. Plus spreading germs.

MindyStClaire · 31/01/2020 13:56

I hope that all the people who have called the OP selfish for calling an ambulance for a child with a vomiting bug will now read her update and apologise to her!!

Why on earth you would read the OP and think she rang an ambulance for your typical puking child and not automatically think there was something more serious going on is completely beyond me.

Straycatstrut · 31/01/2020 14:00

On the OP subject surely you'd feel more sorry for your sick child, than your child missing soft play for an hour? That on top of the fact you don't spread it about.

When one of my boys is sick they're in bed asap. Big bottle of water and a bucket next to them!

I'm a single mum so this makes it difficult getting the other not ill DS to school. Someone brought their sick child along with their sibling recently and sick child vomited everywhere, right outside the Nursery entrance. Queue lots of outrage and upset! The week after that 92 kids (we had an e-mail about it) and 5 teachers were off sick.

Molly2017 · 31/01/2020 14:00

YANBU. I went to a family gathering after Christmas and someone’s child vomited, the parents then said that she had diarrhoea and had been sick at home too, but they didn’t want to miss catching up with everyone. I was furious as we had a weekend away planned and couldn’t believe how selfish she was to bring her.
Fortunately we didn’t get the bug but unsurprisingly 2 children present were both sick that weekend as was an elderly relative who took a lot longer to recover.
Selfish!!!

MrsWhites · 31/01/2020 14:01

For gods sake, what a horrible bunch of replies! It was obvious even before the update that their must be some other health issues at play here for the OP to have rung an ambulance.

Of course OP you are not unreasonable. What kind of idiot takes a sick child to a baby and toddler group. I would definitely tell the group why you left though, hopefully it will make them enforce a rule on this in the future!

TeddyIsaHe · 31/01/2020 14:03

It wasn’t obvious, unless you are a mind reader.

Some people call ambulances for stubbed toes, it’s not wrong to question people.

GEEpEe · 31/01/2020 14:08

Obviously I am all for preserving NHS resources but I can't get with this competitive undertreating of health issues either. That's a poor way to phrase it but I often hear my wife and her friends' as well as some former patients who would compete about how ill or injured they were or much worse, their children were, and they didn't call an ambulance or see a GP. One woman was bragging to me that she got her kid to get A BUS to hospital with her when she strongly suspected she had broken her ankle or foot.... "it stops right outside" she said.

Spudlet · 31/01/2020 14:13

I'd be furious op and I don't have the history of serious illness - I just hate being sick! Stupid, selfish woman. I hope she catches it - and you don't.

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