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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Good luck tonight whiskeychaser!

172 replies

Sarah510 · 31/01/2020 10:00

Good luck tonight. Just caught up on your threads. Hope there wasn't any more drama during the week.

OP posts:
Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 10:06

MzHz, they did ask, but the club leader said no, which isn't surprising.

I just cante believe they'd rather pay all that money for a cab there, rather than walking to me, or even just getting a cab to me!

Talking about cutting your nose off to spite your face!

MzHz · 01/02/2020 10:15

Wow! That’s insane!

I’d be super tempted to it up a fb status of my own “”

“When for years you lend your time/help to someone who had none, and only ask for one small adjustment to keep all the plates spinning, and you’re not sure what to be more shocked at: the entitlement and venom that arises from a simple request, or why on earth it’s taken you 2 years to realise why nobody wanted to help them until you rocked up”

Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 10:21

Lol. Very tempting!

TheCakeCrusader · 01/02/2020 10:22

OP, this woman’s stubbornness, rigid thinking and lack of ability to compromise to make the situation work for both parties is what’s got her into the current situation. Sadly, as a knock on effect of her behaviour, she has made her own daughter’s life more difficult in order to prove her ridiculous point of view!

Cherrysoup · 01/02/2020 10:50

Bloody hell, just take the stupid woman off your Facebook.

MzHz · 01/02/2020 11:12

Agree with cherrysoup, just block her

Stage your own CFexit

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 01/02/2020 11:14

Well done Op - agree, block her everywhere you're connected.

WhatsTheLatest · 01/02/2020 11:35

Why is it only "tempting" @Whiskeychaser? Genuine question. Why would you follow someone who is posting to have a dig at either just you, or others she has annoyed too? Cant think what you are getting from it

MillicentMartha · 01/02/2020 12:22

It was ‘tempting’ to block her, it was ‘tempting’ (tongue in cheek) to post a rude FB status back.

MillicentMartha · 01/02/2020 12:24

Damn autocorrect.

It wasn’t tempting to block her...

MumW · 01/02/2020 12:46

“When for years you lend your time/help to someone who had none, and only ask for one small adjustment to keep all the plates spinning, and you’re not sure what to be more shocked at: the entitlement and venom that arises from a simple request, or why on earth it’s taken you 2 years to realise why nobody wanted to help them until you rocked up”

Or

"It's sad when you put yourself out as a favour to a friend and they become so entitled that they can't put themselves out to enable you to continue to help them"

You are better off without that 'friendship', it's just a shame that your DDs have become collateral.

Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 12:48

We're FB friends so what she posts comes up on my timeline.
I've only recently joined FB, and use it mainly to keep in touch with family. She was on there because I thought we were friends, but I don't really interact on in much and I'm not on it daily.

I hadn't blocked her because it hadn't actually occurred to me and I have no strong feelings either way, then when she started posting those memes I then didn't block because I didn't want her to think she'd got to me, because she really hasn't.
My dc annoy me frequently, and I've not blocked them, lol. Grin

After the 3rd or 4th one I found out how to mute, so I've done that for now.
Blocking people is just not me, although once it's died down a bit, I probably will now I've thought about it.

Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 12:49

Exactly, MillicentMartha, tempting to be rude back.

Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 12:51

I agree, MumW, although I now know where the dd got her behaviour from, so it's probably no real long term loss to my dd.

AriadnesFilament · 01/02/2020 12:51

Muting’s probably better: she can sit there posting her diatribes thinking you’re seeing them but wondering why you aren’t rising to the bait, while you remain blissfully oblivious and knowing she’s wasting loads of emotional energy 😂

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 01/02/2020 13:00

I feel a bit sorry for her daughter, because it sounds like she wants to remain friends with your daughter, from what happened fatter you’re daughter pulled her up on her behaviour but is afraid of going against her mother. The daughter will eventually end up like the horrible mother and that’s almost an act of cruelty from her. We should be encouraging our children to be better versions of ourselves, as you are doing with yours, in regarding to building up her confidence and resilience. You’re a good mum and friend, OP. The other mum is a pathetic mum.

comingupafterthebreak · 01/02/2020 13:30

@Whiskeychaser What's happened about the proposed dog-sitting, have you told her to sod off you won't be doing it any more?

messolini9 · 01/02/2020 14:38

Cant think what you are getting from it

An education, @WhatchaMaCalllit ..?
This was Whiskey's planned Last Stand, & she's posting here to make sense of the fallout ... is my interpretation, anyway!

Haven't most of us been taken advantage of, then left near-breathless by the sheer gall & spite of the person who used us? OP is using this as a learning moment as well as a teaching moment for her DD.

Nothing wrong with observing play from the sidelines, & learning from it while choosing not to engage with the player any longer or allowing them to ramp up their personal abuse of you via that engagement.

The next stage may well be a complete block, but at this stage, there's a fascination in learning how the CF mindset self-justifies its CF'ery ...

Altho' I think @billy1966 sums it up best:
Users are just like a abusers.....they follow a script.

It is so clear to see.

You oblige them a lot.
You oblige them some more.
Then....
You pull back a bit as it's not suiting you.
They get shirty.
They feel entitled.
They feel outrage at the idea that you are not at their beck and call.
They get snippy.
And more snippy
Then nasty
More nasty.
They blank you.

Honestly it is really funny if you think about it.

And maybe learning to laugh at it instead of being manipulated by it is the best lesson to be learned :)

sonjadog · 01/02/2020 14:58

The mute button on facebook really is a gift.

Drum2018 · 01/02/2020 17:05

You can Unfollow her on Facebook. That way you still show up as friends on each other's list but you don't see her posts. Alternatively you can Snooze her for 30 days and won't see her posts on your news feed for the 30 days.

Supertrooper98 · 01/02/2020 17:13

@comingupafterthebreak yes she did!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 01/02/2020 17:20

@messolini9 - I'm lost. I'm not sure what post of mine you're referring to.

messolini9 · 01/02/2020 18:01

Wotcher @WhatchaMaCalllit - you're not lost, I was!

Apologies, my name-check was meant to reference @WhatsTheLatest's post of Sat 01-Feb-20 11:35:40.

Whiskeychaser · 01/02/2020 20:15

That's useful to know, thanks, drum. I'm still learning the ropes with FB. I'm not particularly technologically savvy.

@comingupafterthebreak, after the last time, I sent her a text saying that I was done with it all and that I was just letting her know I wouldn't be able to dog sit anymore so she would have time to find someone else.

notthemum · 01/02/2020 20:35

Oh @Whiskey I missed the bit about you telling her you wouldn't have the dog. I hope you are as proud of both you and your DC as we all are. Take care of both of you. You are a brilliant mum and a great role model for her and she is learning well from you 💐