Mil didn’t text daughter on birthday

[Magicfish]

Found it really strange my mil didn’t message my daughter on her birthday to wish her happy birthday or ask anything about it.
She has always text on my birthday and my family have always made big deal of birthdays ( ring, text, go around each other’s house). So find it strange she has not acknowledge it. She sent a card in post and we are having a small party at weekend.
Just feel a bit annoyed, or is this the norm.

Never said she was evil, I like my mil.

I truly despair reading posts like this. I'm sure if I keep scrolling though MN I'll come across another thread asking AIBU to ignore MIL's text, she already sent a card and we are seeing her at the w/e.....

For fucks sake......

@Magicfish
I get it.
It's my ds's 17th birthday today. He got money and a card of fil but no phone call and I am miffed, as is my ds, who is ASC. we would never not phone my fil on his birthday and he would sulk big time if we didn't.

Poor MIL can’t win!

She sent a card, this is so ridiculous.

Good

6 year olds shouldn’t have a phone.

My father in law didn't even send my 5 year old a card or text to see if he had a nice birthday afterwards. He's shit.

I think it’s a good time to reassess your expectations surrounding birthdays from this point on. Some years your family and/or your DHs family may not be able to make it for a party, get round to sending a text, post a card, wish people a Happy Birthday in person etc... it’s very unusual to expect so many channels of birthday greetings synonymously every year from every family member without fail. Maybe one year your MIL might not be able to come to a party or might forget to send a card. Sometimes it might slip her mind altogether it’s your daughters birthday that day she might greet her belatedly instead. It’s a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on someone.

Also, shes 6, she doesn’t have a phone!!!! Sending a card is way more personal and thoughtful.

OP, I'm a 'birthday person' but it wouldn't even occur to me to text a 6 year old, especially knowing that she doesn't have her own number.

I'm assuming that she's coming to the do and will be celebrating with you all then?

Neither my Mum or ex MIL have text or called on either of my kids birthdays even the big ones but they are both strange!! 😁

She sent a card- far superior to a text.

I’ve never rung or texted anyone on their birthday. Not my brother, not my mum, not my mil. I send a card in the post and say happy birthday if I see them that day, or if not will say the previous time I see them “have a good birthday next week”.

Another perspective. I usually ring my dc or siblings the day after a birthday.
When you're celebrating in the evening you do not want meal, cake etc interrupted constantly with phone calls.

Considering your six year old dd doesn’t have a phone you were expecting every one to be ringing/texting you.

It’s not your birthday. She already sent a card and will presumably see her at her party,

@Magicfish
Just thought it would have been nice to ask if she had a nice day, what she got etc etc. Guess by these responses I am wrong

She can ask her that at the party on the weekend.

Crackers.

No card, text, phone call or present from Mil for our son yesterday for the second year in a row.She's never formed any kind of relationship with our kids. Bil's kids on the other hand,, their birthdays are announced by her several times three weeks in advance to make sure nobody in the family forgets.

🤷‍♀️

She's never

Sorry, eyesight not so good

My family always make a fuss about birthdays too...but your MIL did nothing wrong here. I get that she normally would text or call.

My family call each other on birthdays...that's my parents and siblings. I send cards as well to my parents in a different city. They also call my DC.

My PILS sends DH, me and the DC cards in the post...and occasional calls. Not every year.

One year my SMIL called to say we hadn't phoned FIL on his birthday, the day before and she expected that we would. She was expressing disappointment.
But did she call DH? ...oh no..I mean, it's his dad.

She almost gave me a bloody heart attack calling early in the morning...I thought FIL had been taken ill or something...he's not a young man.

I’m not sure about a text for a young child but I think a phone call would be nice.

My kids grandparents will call without fail on their birthdays if they’re not seeing them. They love to see them on their birthdays but if it falls on a school day it’s not always possible. Their grandparents get them a cake aa well when they do see them which I think is lovely.

Your MIL has sent a card and it seems you have a good relationship so I don’t think it’s really a problem that she hasn’t text on the day. People do things differently and I’m sure your daughter will have a lovely day regardless.

*FUCK ME.

Seriously, talk about having no problems and trying to make a problem.

I don’t wanna flounce but shit like this makes me want to leave MN.*

This x a million

OP, my family and in laws do the same so it’d be very unusual for them to not text or call on the day, as well as a card. Kids appreciate it.

I’d be fuming hun! That is pure discusting, she’s totes disrespecting you and your bubba, go NC Now!!!! ........oh wait, she sent a card, she’s coming to her party and will, most likely bring a gift, widely known on MN as ‘tat’ what’s your problem again??

Who needs to text....she sent a card.
What did we all do before bloody phones.