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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To still feel angry over this?

76 replies

LoveinParis · 30/01/2020 13:58

I just wondered how others would feel about this.

For context this happened a couple of years ago, but I still feel annoyed when I think about it, there have been other things too which may add to my annoyance and general mistrust.

When ds was a baby he was a really bad sleeper, wasn't easy to get him down for a nap either.

Once when he was around 6 months old mil was watching him for a few hours, when dh and I got back, mil announced that she'd been pushing him around in his pushchair to get him to sleep but he wouldn't give in. They have a conservatory with direct sunlight beaming through. She told me grinning that she'd "been a bit wicked" and she'd positioned his buggy with the sun in his eyes to force him to close his eyes so he'd go to sleep.

At the time I didn't say anything, I'm shit at confrontation and was quite taken aback. I told dh later but he didn't say anything. I regret not saying something at the time, I wouldn't bother bringing it up now, but when I think about it I still get really annoyed that she did that.

I could list all the other things where her judgement has been poor and I know people would agree, but I'm just wondering how people would feel about that specific thing.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 30/01/2020 14:04

Wouldn't bother me.

letshopeitsnot · 30/01/2020 14:06

Massive overreaction from you OP
Let it go.

HomeMadeMadness · 30/01/2020 14:07

I'm assuming the light wasn't bright enough to actually hurt his eyes, just encourage him to shut them? I wouldn't be bothered by that. I used to run my fingers down DD's nose which made her shut her eyes and sometimes she would be too tired to open them again. It worked quite well when she was resisting sleep.

JammieCodger · 30/01/2020 14:07

I'd be fine with this. I remember friends doing the same to get their child to nap when they were out and about. Whatever works!

CakeandCustard28 · 30/01/2020 14:08

Let it go. It was a couple of years ago. Be a bit odd bringing it up now.

KrisAkabusi · 30/01/2020 14:09

Doesn't sound bad to me.

Hingeandbracket · 30/01/2020 14:10

YABVU

TooTrueToBeGood · 30/01/2020 14:10

That's one hell of a trivial thing to be stewing over 2 years after the fact. Out of interest, what good is this pent up anger doing you, do you think? What is it achieving?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 30/01/2020 14:10

What a stupid thing for her to do. I would have been fuming. You don’t knowingly force a baby to look into the sun.

dontgobaconmyheart · 30/01/2020 14:11

'a bit wicked'. She sounds like s dick OP. Weird that she was grinning and seems proud of having been a bit cruel. Doesn't reflect well on her at all does itand I'd have queried why it was necessary and why she is acting as though it makes her clever.

Clangus00 · 30/01/2020 14:11

shrug mountain out of a molehill.

Brefugee · 30/01/2020 14:12

blimey when my DS were small everyone told me about this "trick" that they had heard from their mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers.

All it does is make them close their eyes - it's not pinning their eyelids back and force them not to blink while glaring at an orb of burning gas

BaronessBomburst · 30/01/2020 14:12

I laughed. Sounds a genius plan. Who doesn't want to fall asleep in warm sunlight? It's soothing.

AryaStarkWolf · 30/01/2020 14:14

Yeah sorry OP but you are BU imo

IHeartKingThistle · 30/01/2020 14:15

I used to walk a certain route with the buggy when it was nap time as I knew the sun would be in DD's eyes. She'd be asleep in about a minute with no crying and then I'd put the sunshade down. I feel no guilt about this!

iklboo · 30/01/2020 14:16

Be more Elsa.

Elbeagle · 30/01/2020 14:16

While I wouldn’t do it deliberately, I have sometimes been glad of the sun shining in the back of the car as it has made mine close their eyes and go to sleep!

Original poster

LoveinParis · 30/01/2020 14:16

I used to run my fingers down DD's nose which made her shut her eyes and sometimes she would be too tired to open them again. It worked quite well when she was resisting sleep.

I don't feel that's in any way the same, I've done that too.

She's done quite a few things that I haven't liked. Another being coming back to find 18 month old ds on his own in her kitchen, balanced on a kitchen stool with hot pans bubbling away. I won't list them all and turn it into one of those threads.

The sun is very strong in their conservatory and would be really uncomfortable to sit directly facing it.

I hadn't realised this is a thing that people do, seems really mean to me.

OP posts:

user1471517900 · 30/01/2020 14:20

If she was next to the hot pans then this is clearly worse.

HomeMadeMadness · 30/01/2020 14:23

If the light was bright enough to actually hurt his eyes and he wouldn't be able to turn away from it then I'd kind of agree it's mean.

Original poster

LoveinParis · 30/01/2020 14:28

If the light was bright enough to actually hurt his eyes and he wouldn't be able to turn away from it then I'd kind of agree it's mean.

Have you ever been driving and suddenly dazzled by the sun and put your sun visa down or needed your sunglasses?

Seems odd to me that people would deliberately do that to a baby. I mean if mil was sitting in her conservatory she'd have the blinds part down so as not to have the sun in her eyes.

OP posts:

AudacityOfHope · 30/01/2020 14:28

I used to walk my babies into the sunlight for the same reason; it got them to turn on their side and close their eyes against the light.

Whatever you're holding on to this for, you need to figure it out and let it go.

Nothing2doooooo · 30/01/2020 14:28

Not sure I would have liked that either but wouldn't be a big deal. Also, since you didn't say anything at the time, no point rehashing it now or getting worked up over it. It's done. I get the overthinking though :)

Original poster

LoveinParis · 30/01/2020 14:30

Oh I wouldn't bring it up now. Doubt she'd even remember.

OP posts:

LochJessMonster · 30/01/2020 14:31

Another being coming back to find 18 month old ds on his own in her kitchen, balanced on a kitchen stool with hot pans bubbling away

That's a big leap from using the sunlight to get them to sleep trick...

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