Family want us to give financial gift back....

[Liskenly]

A couple of years ago DH's grandfather gave us a substantial financial gift (he was very wealthy). We'd brought a house that needed a huge amount of repairs and this money funded all of the repairs. We never asked for this money it was a spontaneous gift - his view was that we'd make better use of it than he did. We were very close to him and cared a lot for him prior to his death late last year. He has sadly now passed away. He has left the main part of his estate to be split between his 12 grandchildren (many of whom haven't seen him in the last 5 years). They are now insisting we give the gift back (taking it from the inheritance) so it can be divided between the 12 grandchildren with the rest of the of the estate (it has turned rather nasty). We're not wealthy, but we are comfortable, but can't afford to give back the money - basically it means we'd have to give £10k back to them as well as not have our 'share' of the inheritance. I've not met 5 of them but now recieving really nasty emails, texts etc. What would you do?

But none of us have seen the will. For all we know, the GF may have written in the will that the OP’s DH’s money was a loan not a gift and is to be repaid. People are weird, they do strange things. That is why the OP is better to get proper advice on this, because I don’t see how any of us can advise without a full understanding of the estate and how the will was written. 🤷‍♀️

Given some of the ridiculous comments on here I doubt there are many posters who would even be able to give the right advice even if they had see the will

I know. This thread is utterly bonkers!! 🤦‍♀️

@FrangipaniBlue, precisely. no-one can give advise based on the info given, just their opinions. OP needs a specialist in this area who can categorially determine the tax and also how the will should be distributed. She absolutely should not give in to family or agree to pay tax or give up inheritance until this has been done. Good luck OP.

Solicitors deal with estates, and can be executors. Of course a firm will have expertise in Inheritance Tax!

How greedy can they get ?
These grandchildren are getting their share but still it's not enough.
Your grandfather wanted you to have this money and so it was obviously what he wanted to do.
Ignore these people they are just being nasty.

Cheeky Fuckers!
Just politely tell them no - end of story!

WTAF. Death and inheritance always ours the bad eggs.

They’ve not a leg to stand on.

Point out everything above re it not forming part of the estate as it was a gift some years ago, and that there is nothing in the will which specifies it must paid at any point or that you must forfeit your share of the estate in lieu of it. Tell them if they want to take it further to contact a solicitor. Block their numbers and emails and get on with your lives.

YANBU

cared a lot for him prior to his death late last year.

Send them (or rather, the estate) a bill for your care services. If your care was the difference between him going into a home or not, charge them at the rate of a local nursing home (ballpark figure of £1000/week) on the basis that if it wasn't for you that money wouldn't be part of the estate in the first place.

I really do feel a bit resentful towards relatives who don't bother to get their hands dirty when it comes to care arrangements but still expect to inherit just as much as those who did (often for years or decades) prior to the death.

Yes the GD was very unfair I'd be questioning how and why it happened.

What a load of rubbish! People are entitled to do whatever they like with their own money. An inheritance is a privilege not a right - unfortunately most people don't understand that.

OP we are all giving our views here, but the actual way it works is that the executors of the will are obliged to act in accordance with grandfather's wishes, and what any beneficiaries might, or might not, want has nothing to do with it. I would however keep copies of the nasty emails and texts and pass them onto the executors. Hopefully they will put the others straight and let them know this is unacceptable.

How was the gd unfair - a load of gc that had fuck all to do with him for years did not get a gift compared to gc and her family who cared for him and did get a gift, totally fair, these other gc only give a shit about his cash!

Good luck finding one of those, you know seeing as solicitors specialise in LAW and generally know sod all about tax.

Strange. I have a good friend who is a solicitor in Scotland that specialises in US-U.K. taxes. She advises ultra rich people on how to manage their assets and make sure they don’t end up owing back taxes to US or U.K.

They’re getting around £45K each - why quibble over £900??

Family relations have broken down over less than £900 taken from them. There is the legal obligation which says not legally required to pay. But then there is the ethical and moral obligation to do right by your cousins. It’s CF in my book to just tell your cousins ha ha ha your inheritance is £900 less because I don’t have to pay the taxes on this massive £50k gift I received two years ago. Ha ha you get to pay the taxes on my gift. None of you got a gift so I’m the special golden grandchild.

But she hasn’t said Ha ha at them.... that suggests she’s taunting them with it but from what I’ve read it doesn’t seem she has. They are the ones who have brought up all these unpleasantries. They had a moral obligation to see the grandfather too but they didn’t so I don’t think morals should come in to it.

Tell them get stuffed your lucky to get anything you didn't even care about him. You hadn't seen him for years. All you care about is his money.
Please don't give into these nasty people. Never speak to them again after the funeral. Money grabbers. X

she hasn’t said Ha ha at them

That’s how her actions will be received though. As laughing all the way to the bank.

Of course morals should come into it. Unless you’re an amoral narcissist.

And we don’t know why the other GC did fewer visits/caring for the GF. They could be living in Hong Kong for all we know and this GC just happened to be closest geographically. Or their parents could disabled or they have a disabled child and so no spare time to do as much.

They are the ones who have brought up all these unpleasantries.

All they did was bring up the fact that a gift comes with a tax bill because gramps died before the 7yr time limit. That’s not being unpleasant. That’s just asking someone to pay their own damn taxes and not shift it off on family members like a freeloading asshole.

I would not return, but it ought to be included in the inheritance tax. The inheritance tax portion for your amount ought to be paid by you.

If I were you and your DH I’d not take a cut of the inheritance but I’d say I couldn’t pay the £10,000. I’d feel greedy if I ended up with the generous gift plus the inheritance. I’d consider the gift as an early inheritance.
Do the other beneficiaries include your husbands siblings?

You will be liable for the inheritance tax as it’s within 7 years.

There is some very misleading advice on this thread

Here is the guidance from HMRC

www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts

I'ts the estate who bears the cost of IHT.

Even though the Potentially Exempt Transfer did not succeed i.e was only two years old. (After 3 years the rate of IHT on the PET tapers down from 40%)

My DM made such a PET to me not long before she died. The estate paid the IHT on it, not me.

The gift giver may have intended to give a gift, knowing what the implications were for the IHT if he died within 7 years. ie that you would not be liable to pay anything on it. As you aren't named in the will, it may be he was compensating you for not being a beneficiary of his will.

See a solicitor.

"As you aren't named in the will, it may be he was compensating you for not being a beneficiary of his will."
@TheSparklyPussycat - the OP is not named in the will, true, but her DH's grandfather left his estate equally to his 12 grandchildren, of whom the OP's DH is one!
"See a solicitor."
I think the OP has decided already they will discuss this with a solicitor.

Ah, I see. My misunderstanding.

All the best, OP.