AIBU to think decluttering is fucking hard?

[messopotamia]

Trying to declutter the house. It’s a shit tip. A large shit tip. There is no room which could be described as presentable right now, and we’re in the middle of the world’s slowest renovation to boot.

I need a decent chunk of time to be motivated. But between everyday life commitments I seldom get the chance, or when I do I have to catch up on the everyday
chores so have zero motivation by the time they’re done.

If I do get the chance to do something, I find the mental load of making endless decisions exhausting. Then I have to figure out how best to store things. Our house is large but most of the storage is impractical. I do have diagnosed anxiety and depression which I know doesn’t help, but it would be nice to not be constantly tripping over things all the time.

I’ve tried Marie Kondo, Flylady, TOMM. Nothing seems to work as there’s just not enough time.

AIBU?

It is really hard I'm struggling at the minute though my house isn't a shit tip, I have random drawers full of crap, random baskets full of crap...cupboards full of crap...and clothes coming out my arsehole. I litrally have around 200 items to the charity shop a while back...yet I still have around the same just put away in storage boxes bags etc I don't get it. But it's stressful.

I despise the clutter in my house.

I am a clean freak, not a serious one but I love to clean and tidy but we have way too much stuff for our 2 bedroom house.

This spring we have decided to do a room every weekend for a month, any unwanted clothes will go to charity or in the clothes bin at our local supermarket, any ornaments etc that have no sentimental value will be going to a car boot along with the random shit my husband has filled our garage with 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm hoping by summer we have a de-cluttered home that doesn't require so much dusting etc.

My ffriends think I'm mad, they all think I have the cleanest house going but it's not the cleanliness it's the things that we have that I just dont want anymore.

I'm also a bit of a shopping addict so have promised myself no more candles (I have a bath and body works candle obsession and currently have 18🤦🏻‍♀️) no more buying "pretty vases" etc.

I would recommend doing it room by room, I've also ordered some paperwork storage so we can eliminatw post being left on top of the microwave for weeks before it's either thrown away or chucked somewhere else by DH cos I'm sick of the sight of it.

I do a ten minute wizz around. you can be more brutal if there isn't time to think about it.

Like others have said just do 1 little thing each day...just one kitv=chen cupboard, just one dresser drawer, just one shelf in the bathroom.

Also pause to think when shopping, do i really need this or will i be throwing it away in a month or two.

If you don't bring the crap in it's easier to keep on top of.

Also, sign up for paperless billing at every opportunity.
If you need a bill for any reason (proof of address) you can print it when required, but everyone hates filing-so just don't let the paperwork in the house.

Once you get into a habit it does become a lot easier.

I feel your pain op.

The inward tide of crap is my problem. I have worked so hard on keeping the crap down.

My mother and my children are repeat offenders. My mother buys lovely things for the girls they simply do not need. Glittery pens to write their Xmas cards - I'll just add them to the 50000 posh pens they already have. I have told her a million times to ask me what to leave out for her as she looks after them once a week and plans activities. When I challenge her she gets really upset and guilts me. Again my house is tiny.

The dds bring mountains of crap in and get upset when I throw things. McDonald toys and junk modelling being v common. I can't get on board with junk modelling I am a mean mummy

HeronLanyon

Omg stuff, yep. Tomorrows mission is DD clothes and im already scared. The kitchen is worst, so many things stuffed away i never use. Its a 1 cupboard at a time job
I did a wall unit last week and OMG i dont know where half the crap came from
Ive found the it so much easier breaking it right down and changing it up. I also dont beat myself up if i have a lazy day either.
As bad as it sounds ive also found not hanging onto stuff that may be useful or you may know someone who needs it reduces so much. If it cant be taken or donated on same day im sorting it goes to dump load.
Ive already dumped one big trailer load and half way to another

Threads like this can also be very motivating lol.

I also advise planning the disposal first and tracking backwards. So it goes like this - can I get to the charity shop today? Yes on the way to school run - then empty the boot, then find some bags, then you're ready to start. Pick one room or area and just do that. If you can't remove the items from your house within 24 hours don't start - plan when you have a good window and do something else instead. The being mid way through it with crap everywhere or o eglowibg bags blocking the hall is too stressful

Are we buying too much crap and clothing???

Are we buying too much crap and clothing???

I don’t know about anyone else but yes, I am (or was). Honestly the amount of clothing I have sent to charity shops, most barely worn, is ridiculous. Yet looking back at when I’ve bought these items, I genuinely thought they were needed. I still have piles and piles to go through.
I am committed this year to buying less. Less everything. Since the beginning of the year, every single thing I’ve purchased I’ve asked myself if it is genuinely needed.
My children have enough toys. The only thing I will be replenishing this year is crafts and books (and after Christmas and winter birthdays they don’t need any of them for a while either).

You have to tackle the flow of stuff into your house; look at your shopping habits, are family giving you stuff, are you collecting too much paper, are you checking what's in the food cupboards before you shop etc etc? Maybe talk to your DH if he is part of the problem and let him know how stressful you find it.

I keep two boxes or plastic crates on the go: one for charity shop stuff, one for stuff to go to the tip. Stuff for keeping gets piled on the bed and then I find a space to keep it (if I can't find a space, I start a 3rd box/crate/bag and then stack that neatly in a corner of the spare room)

I pick an area approx 2' square, and attack it. I've de-cluttered our bedroom and cleared one whole side of the midden that is our spare room using this method, just a bit at a time.

I'm adopting a one-in, one-out policy for things like shoes (mine, obvs!) and t-shirts, and when I've read a book, it goes straight into a box for the charity shop (unless it's a hardback).

I also find that just emptying out a cupboard and replacing stuff neatly means it takes up less space. When I did the kitchen, I ended up with a whole empty wall cupboard. I've no idea how that happened!

We do have something called "the cupboard of doom". It's an understairs cupboard in the kitchen. The boiler is in there, and when we have the boiler serviced, the contents of this cupboard fill the whole fucking kitchen and spill over into the living room.

I swear some former Dr Who has abandoned a Tardis that is in the form of a cupboard full of stuff.

I had a cupboard of doom too!

I'm back on it today there's a full bag going to the chazza this morning 😂

Surely you just need the right amount of storage?

Surely you just need the right amount of storage?

Not if you’re just storing crap that you don’t want/need.
I have plenty of storage. I don’t want to store junk though.

Do it 1room at a time , max 2 bin bags a day til clear & it's not such a daunting 'chore', it's more like just an extra trip to the bin. Being depressed means you get over faced with even everyday small stuff OP, so I get where you're coming from.

Forgot :our nearest big supermarket has a clothing bank 'bin' which I've used a lot for clothes (charity shop is a long schlep). So handy to drop off a couple og bags of stuff when you're there for a food shop anyway.

I decided I really had to lose some weight at the beginning of the year, so gave all my nice fat clothes to a charity shop to spur me on. Haven't lost any weight yet, and now have nothing to wear.

I’ve had a right good sweep through the house today! Both bathrooms, my room, sons room, Toybox and “junk cupboards” in living room, paper files and done all the kitchen drawers as a start. 3 bags for the charity shop and the rest for the tip. I’ve blooming loved it but I’m recovering from pneumonia and a cracked rib so I’m done in now!
Time for a sit down and cuppa me thinks

It is hard and the first part of your post especially spoke to me - the endless decision making is exhausting. I often get quite stressed and angry when trying to sort through stuff.

I think it's important to stop it coming into the house in the first place (then you don't have to continually do it). If someone buys something either something else has to go or they have to know where to put it beforehand. If other people (like my parents!) bring stuff I make a decision as soon as they are gone - where to keep it or charity shop. I then keep on top by doing a cupboard every now and again. So much easier as when it's cleaning day there is no hurried pre-tidy up so she can get round.

this book changed my whole approach to decluttering.

No pulling it all out.
No making a bigger mess.
You can follow her method in however little time you have available.

She has a podcast with all her tips on it, so you don’t need to pay for the book, but it’s just all in one place in the book.

I would just like to say thank you to everyone as I find these threads very supportive and encouraging. for everyone.

Pick one cupboard. Clear, declutter and tidy. Do one cupboard every week and it’ll get done. If your husband is a bit of a pack rat then try and throw things out when he’s not looking. Trust me my DH doesn’t throw things out if he thinks it might possibly be useful so things just disappear. I threw out a pair of his shoes four years ago and he still hasn’t noticed!

Just pick up stuff and if you don't use it bin it.

It really is this simple. I had/have a major hoarding problem and have spent the last two years decluttering. It's only just getting to the point where it actually looks clearer. Don't overthink it, just do it. Start anywhere at all, just start. At the beginning it's like a Rubik's cube where you can't get to anything without painstakingly moving a bunch of other things, but it does get better. Just make it your top priority and do a bit every day. And get the heavy duty bin bags, thin ones are a false economy. Take things to the charity shop every day if you can: don't wait until a giant bin bag is totally full if you're likely to forget about it and end up with cupboards filled with half-full charity donation bags (or is that just me?)

Good luck, it gets easier and you get inured to the pain of throwing things out. Definitely download some good music and podcasts because tidying is the dullest thing since double maths. And know that the results will be worth it!

I’ve given up with the clutter. I don’t see it anymore. A good example is the room I’m in now. TV, 3 plants, 2 recliner chairs and a treadmill. Sounds fine doesn’t it? There is also a sofa with the cushions from the patio furniture piled on top, and the longer cushions are on the treadmill. I just don’t look at that side of the room.

DH is a hoarder from a hoarder family. Christmas just gone he got the Lego set from his early childhood, he’s 64 now, from his sister. It’s still in the lounge.

When I can be bothered I just start with the room I’m in and make 3 piles. Rubbish, recycling and stuff to put away.

I’m planning to make a start next week.