AIBU to think decluttering is fucking hard?

[messopotamia]

Trying to declutter the house. It’s a shit tip. A large shit tip. There is no room which could be described as presentable right now, and we’re in the middle of the world’s slowest renovation to boot.

I need a decent chunk of time to be motivated. But between everyday life commitments I seldom get the chance, or when I do I have to catch up on the everyday
chores so have zero motivation by the time they’re done.

If I do get the chance to do something, I find the mental load of making endless decisions exhausting. Then I have to figure out how best to store things. Our house is large but most of the storage is impractical. I do have diagnosed anxiety and depression which I know doesn’t help, but it would be nice to not be constantly tripping over things all the time.

I’ve tried Marie Kondo, Flylady, TOMM. Nothing seems to work as there’s just not enough time.

AIBU?

I have done this recently and just done one cupboard at a time. Yes it takes a while but that’s ok, no need to block out a whole week, just an hour max, and then an hour max the next time you want to do it. It has the benefit that you’re not accumulating a huge stack of rubbish to be driven to the tip as well, just a bag to go in the bin and an ongoing charity bag or two. You don’t have to be Marie Kondo. Put some music on. Reward yourself for each but achieved.

The other thing you can do is not to accumulate any more. Think about how clutter comes into your house. Is is partly unwanted pressies, is it your wardrobe that needs an evacuation, have you got too many shoes?

What about books, have a look at each and say “Am I really going to read this again?”:I’ve got rid of my classic books (such as Jane Eyre etc) as when I want to read it again I can get it from the library, I’ve just kept books that won’t be in the library and ones I have yet to read (and will)

With clothes and books operate on a “one in, at least one out” basis so you never escalate.

I try and remove three things from my house for every one I bring in. It helps.

OP are you expecting too much?

You say you are in the middle of house renovations. I remember a time iike that- no kitchen for 10 weeks, bulders and plaster dus everywhere.
Not the time to be organised- we kept a microwave in the living room with a chopping board for salad and washed up in the bath.

If youare renovating you need to put up with some muddle.

Operate a one in 2 out policy

Or hire a skip, throw all the clutter in, and then get it collected

Break it down into sizable chunks. When you look at it and think oh my god there’s so much to do it will take hours and days it’s too overwhelming.

Get 3 boxes or crates. Label keep, donate, bin.
Start in the kitchen, it should be the easiest room to get rid of things as people don’t tend to have as much emotional attachment to a Tupperware with a missing lid or a tin of beans that went out of date 5 years ago.

When you’re cooking tea for example, put food in oven and set timer for 20 minutes or whatever. Open one cupboard pull every single thing out, give it a wash inside and out. Anything that is clearly broken or unusable throw. Then put the items from the keep box back in a neat and tidy order.
Get rid of any food that is out of date. Stack tins in size order with labels facing front- honestly my tins cupboard makes me so bloody happy.
By the end of a week it should be possible to do most of the cupboards and drawers, just by doing it in 15 minute chunks.
Waiting for the kettle to boil this morning I sorted through and cleaned my cutlery drawer.
Once the cupboards and drawers are done Set aside an hour to do the rest e.g counters, floor and windows.

Then move onto the bathroom. Remove everything from the room, cupboards and drawers. Give it a good scrub from top to bottom. Only put back items that are used. Half bottle of shampoo that’s been there for months- bin, grubby sponge- bin, out of date medication- bin, floral hand cream that you got off auntie jean 4 years ago bin.

Once those 2 rooms are done and clean and organized give yourself a bloody well deserved treat.

It’s like the old saying “how do you eat an elephant? In chunks!”

As some others have said I can’t relate when people say they don’t know where to start/can’t start. I would LOVE to de clutter as a job 😂

If Kondo didn’t work OP try watching The Minimalists on Netflix.

We got rid of 2 floor to ceiling full bookshelves, our wardrobe, all photo albums (had them scanned to the Computer instead of dust gathering), crap out of the loft. We have 3 small children and I always feel confident that if they say they have lost something that it will actually be around and easy to find as the house is not full of pointless shit.

Even DH said it felt good to get stuff out of the house (and I really struggle with him bringing shit back in)

On The Minimalists they said ‘people buy something to treat themselves for working, to buy the thing they have treated themselves too’ makes you think how fruitless consuming stuff is. 🤷‍♀️

After years of struggling with this I hired a clutter clearer/organiser to help. Is that an option?
She came for 4hrs, but it really helped me in the long term with understanding the process of how to sort and store things. It was years ago and I still use what I learned every day.

There are some good tips here, work through and find the ones that will be easy to put into place for you. The other side of decluttering is not buying new stuff. If you don't immediately need it, just don't buy it. Even if it feels like passing up a bargain. Your mental health is worth more.

You have so many similarities to me. Hoping to get some tips.

What time do you practically have ?? Could you write a timetable and do baby steps ?

Week one assess rooms and categories per room
Week two write a schedule
Then approach each room at a time

I listened to some organising podcasts by typing words such as organising and decluttering etc into the search box to help me stay motivated.

When I look at something I think will getting rid of this make me happier than keeping it and if the answer is yes it goes. Also if I moved house would I take this? If the answer is no I try and chuck it.

I like filling a bag to give to charity regularly. I also motivate myself by finding things to sell on EBay and Shpock. I’ve made quite a bit of money doing this.

Buying lovely storage tubs, trays and boxes helps too. Look at Stacey Solomon’s organising stories on Instagram, although she’s in a whole different league!

Start from one corner of a room and work your way round that room only ....de clutter ( l bin almost everything unless it’s in excellent condition for a charity shop resale ) and as l clear an area l clean it too.That’s it . It takes ages but eventually getting one room clear is amazing . Start working the the smallest room - grab black bags and a cleaning spray and cloths, put a talking book on the iPad or phone and commit to an hour at least . Don’t overthink or it will become overwhelming . And most importantly have a cake and cup of tea ready for a reward at the end 😊

Oh we’re exactly the same!

Doing up the house and it’s taking SO FUCKING LONG and it’s too small and there’s stuff everywhere

I normally wait until about April/May then start going through stuff for an hour or two per week. What I don't use/need/want I put them all in bin liners/boxes ready for the boot sale that coming Sunday so the stuff doesn't hang about long

Don’t get sucked into the all or nothing mentality! And I say that as someone who has OCPD.

Give yourself 5/10/15 minutes each day and tackle one thing. Shoes, towels, one junk drawer, etc. And set your timer for however long and just do as much as you can in that time. Get rid of as much as you can, try and utilise the space you have whilst doing the house up.

Honestly, I believe less is more. Less to tidy up and clean, less to put away, less to buy and waste your money. We have no nick nacks, 3-4 pairs of shoes each, one coat each, only one set of bedding for each bed, etc.

I started by decluttering 2 items a day - on a bad day that might be 2 envelopes. I started decluttering my clothes next - one drawer at a time - my DP did his when he noticed the difference . We still have loads to do but there is a huge difference in our home. The wires, electrical /electronic 'trash' all saved 'in case' has been dramatically cleared out by DP. Little steps all accumulate.

I love it. It's liberating and exhilirating.

Although, when you have GOT to do it (like if you're downsizing your house,) it can be a PITA, and a bit hard.

I'm really struggling with decluttering at the moment as well - I end up going into some sort of existential meltdown about what to do with the decluttered stuff which then ends up sitting around in various bags/ boxes for fucking months whilst I don't get round to ebaying/ charity shopping/ giving away/ recyling/ taking old clothes to H&M which is a bus ride away so I have to remember to take it when I'm going that way as it's not a worth a trip on it's own/ saving uniform for the next time school might be collecting etc etc etc.

I too can’t do the all or nothing.
I aim for a job a week.
Any clothes the kids have grown out of to charity or go through a food cupboard and see what is out of date?
I’m also re reading old books and donating them to charity when I’ve read them.
Ditching magazines and other messy paper too!

I’m just about to start this. Now ex partner and I are separating and our son and myself have got ourself a lovely little two bed house. Much smaller than the 4 bed, 3 storey house with garage we have now. We move in 4 weeks but I’ve been putting off sorting. We decided to start in the spare/junk room, which was overflowing. Well, an hour in there and it turns out all the clutter was his. Garage next, all his. You get where this is going! So my job is basically my clothes, which I don’t have many, toys and sons clothes and general nick nacks. I’ve sworn to myself hat he new house will be clutter free and beautiful and I’m sticking to it! I’m looking forward to the lovely clean, clutter free house :)

Little and often is all very well, but it's generally ineffective - one tiny area slightly improved, or a wimpy drift around picking up the odd tawdry item to generously bestow on the charity shop. I know, I've been there. I'm that person who would take in other people's junk as treasures. I'm that person who inherited a parents' home and kept most of the contents. I was a car boot and charity shop trawler.

It wasn't mess, to me, but it started to weigh me down. I'd sort and tidy and find myself re-sorting stuff I had saved 'in case' 20 years ago.

When it was stopping us from decorating, I started to Marie Kondo. It IS weird, but it's effective. I've had to do it a few times and each time it gets better and easier. Start with one area like your own clothes - empty, literally empty, your wardrobe. Imagine what you would like it to look like. Basically you probably wear the same basic outfits over and over and have loads of other stuff crammed in because 'it cost money', 'it might be useful', 'I might get to that size'. Etc. If you don't love it, lose it!
You will feel a bit weird and maybe slightly guilty at first but there's an amazing sense of freedom that overcomes it!
I really, really recommend it.
I visit people's homes as part of my job and I regularly think - your life is a mess because your house is a mess - all cluttered up with stuff. It doesn't have to be that way and it feels so gooood! (And I'm no clean freak, btw)

*You might not. Getting rid of one thing a day would mean your home will be 365 things clearer this time next year.

It’s better to do something small than nothing at all.*

I'm definetly going to try this, never thought of it like this before, I look at decluttering as a whole and give in before I start, but one thing a day sounds really doable.

We did this recently. I did several passes of each room over several weeks. Easy decisions first, then the "do we really use this?". And then the more brutal "what value does this bring to our lives?".

I did find getting good storage in helped. Hooks, shelves, a new wardrobe with built in shelving. The bathroom was the worst. We installed a huge bathroom cabinet so everything can be hidden away.

Seeing how streamlined and easy to clean the place is now has spurred me to buy smarter and to buy less.

If it's the 'it's worth something'/'I spent moeny on that' thinking which holds you back, here's what I've learned:

What's spent is spent. It's got a different value now. If you need some cash AND have some time then sort according to this basic model:

Clothes from Primark, Asda etc - charity shop. Even stained, holed stuff gets sorted there for textile recycling (so please don't just chuck stuff in the dustbin.)

Clothes from Marks, Boden, etc (especially kids) do well on eBay. Search for sold prices and don't start from 99p, chances are you'll only get that.Bundle up if you have a lot. You have to have a day when you feel full of energy and devote a couple of hours to listing stuff, I find.

Furniture - facebook marketplace. People offer less so don't price too low.

Homeware - electricals and tools go well on eBay or Facebook.
Bedding - not bad on eBay if good quality - Habitat etc goes for more than you paid sometimes!
Random junk that you think might be worth a quid or two - save up a few boxes and do one or two car boots (pick good weather days) and then take anything left to charity.

Old tat - commemorative plates, pine picture frames, china thimbles - generally not worth a thing. Charity shop or council tip shops.

Books and DVD's - again, worth very little - can do a sold search on ebay if you're not sure. If you have loads and loads you could try one of those sites like Music Magpie that pay postage, but you're talking pennies each.

Remember it's not worth anything to you if it's blocking up your life and your time though.