AIBU to think decluttering is fucking hard?

[messopotamia]

Trying to declutter the house. It’s a shit tip. A large shit tip. There is no room which could be described as presentable right now, and we’re in the middle of the world’s slowest renovation to boot.

I need a decent chunk of time to be motivated. But between everyday life commitments I seldom get the chance, or when I do I have to catch up on the everyday
chores so have zero motivation by the time they’re done.

If I do get the chance to do something, I find the mental load of making endless decisions exhausting. Then I have to figure out how best to store things. Our house is large but most of the storage is impractical. I do have diagnosed anxiety and depression which I know doesn’t help, but it would be nice to not be constantly tripping over things all the time.

I’ve tried Marie Kondo, Flylady, TOMM. Nothing seems to work as there’s just not enough time.

AIBU?

Did I write this post? Certainly feels like it!
@Slimmer2018 please tell me you live in the south then there might be a chance you live near me

I second @Rose789. Fully empty and clean something - bathroom or cupboard, wardrobe etc, and really think about what goes back in. Don't just see it as an exercise at better Jenga clutter! If something really belongs somewhere else, that's good but you might need to empty the place it belongs next to declutter that!

I can't remember where I heard it (maybe on tv) but it said you should empty the room and then only put back what you need. A bit impractical to do but the concept of being brutal with your decisions with what to keep and what to throw were the same. DH and I took a few days off work, sent DD into nursery and then had a major declutter of our house. It felt SO good! We both hate mess and clutter. Find the time. It'll be worth it.

I know what you mean - I just don’t have the energy for any extra tasks above the routine daily stuff.

I’ve decided that I’m going to throw away everything, bar clothes that fit us all now and toys the kids play with. It’s all going. If I need something and I’ve donated or sold it I’ll get another. The stress of the clutter is driving me mad.

Have you tried the chuck it all out method.
Bin bags. Boot of car. Tip.

I find the Kondo order of decluttering makes sense because you start with things you are less likely to be attached to and move on to tough stuff once you've got used to the decisions.

makinglemonadeblog.com/free-printable-decluttering-konmari-method-checklist/

This is a more detailed category list so you don't have all your clothes at once - just certain types!

I put on netflix an old series that I can half watch listen to whilst cleaning. It does make it less boring. 30 minutes at a time. When we were moving got through lots of black bin bags, I nearly filled the conservatory up with stuff neatly boxed up and furniture we did not need. The local hospice came in a van and took it all away.

You need my mum she has a small business with her sister going into people's homes and helping them declutter. The before and after pics are amazing, so satisfying!

I find decluttering stressful, once I've thrown away the obvious rubbish I never know what to do with the rest and end up chucking it all back in cupboard and closing the door quick !
I would love my stuff/ paperwork to be a bit more organised but it just seems like too much effort and there always something more interesting to do .
I am.lucky that I have good storage and cupboard space in my house , having all the stuff on show does make me stressed

I live a few miles out of oxford if that helps and a good old clear out is right up my street.. and I’m happy to help.. if I could make it a business I would, but I feel those that need help in this area maybe can’t afford someone to come and help.. I can help with finance budgets too... I know I can help but does anyone want to get someone on board if it costs?... even at £10 an hour? .. I’d love to though

YANBU I find cleaning, organising and 'adulting' in general very boring. Also have depression and anixety so find myself wondering what's the point and also have the tendency to end up procrastinating until the mess builds up.

I try to aim for 10 minutes decluttering/organising at a time, it doesn't feel like too much tacked onto the end of weekly chores and soon becomes a habit. Personally I find Clutterbug on youtube one of the easiest methods to follow IRL. followed her 30 day delcuttering challenge a couple of years ago (although I did it over longer than 30 days). I found it really effective as she breaks everything down into small exercises, so it removes the mental load. Her organising series is well worth a watch. I used to find myself wasting time trying to micro-organise everything and put it out of sight, when really my brain is more visual, so having vaguely similar items grouped together in boxes and labelled works better and takes less time to keep on top of.

YADNBU - it’s so hard! We downsized over 2 years ago but some rooms still look as if we’ve just moved. And we have so little storage. Something about modern houses. I do feel better for making a start. Clothes are the worst, as I take ages to decide if I want to keep things or try to sell them or give them to charity.

With summer clothes wait until spring/summer, dig everything out, clothes, shoes, bags and think did I wear this last spring/summer if the answer is no chances are you will not wear it this summer. So black bin bag and off to charity shop.

For now you can go through winter stuff and think do I wear this, if not then in the bin bags quick and off to charity shop so they get a chance to sell it before the weather warms up.

I am finally near the end of decluttering but it has taken 3 years! So don't be disheartened if it takes a while.

What has helped me is follow Marie Kondo. Some areas have needed more than one session on it though.

I am now absolutely brutal with what I keep.

Regarding things like wires:

1. Does it fit any machines I currently own/are currently still on the market?
2. Do I have more than one spare?

If the answer is yes to either of those questions chuck it.

Everything probably seems worse than ot is because you are renovating.

You could make it work for you though.
When a room is finished and the builders are gone, you have a blank canvas. Only put in what you need.
The rest is obviously clutter, say goodbye.

Due to recent bereavements I’ve got loads of family things on top of my own. My problem is definitely psychological. I don’t want to sort stuff even though I really do need to.
I also feel a bit overwhelmed by how much I have to do and somehow that means I don’t know how or where to start. Result - don’t do any of it.
Really need to find the key to starting the process.
Good luck op - good advice here. I gonna try hard.

There's a channel on Youtube called 'The Minimal Mom' - she has loads of videos and some good tips and ideas for decluttering.

I find the hardest bit about decluttering is what to do with the stuff I’m getting rid of! I hate throwing things to landfill unless absolutely necessary. I have 3 young DC so a constant cycle of outgrown clothes - I tried to donate to a few local charitys but they won’t accept any more children’s clothes at the moment. Toys I try to donate to playgroups etc but they don’t want them. I have a pile in the loft of stuff to donate but nowhere to get rid of it .

Once you get the room's decluttered get strict on what comes into the house.
Don't be sentimental if you haven't used or with it in 6 months donate or bin.

I try pick one thing a day in a room. So say a kitchen cupboard, just 1 but it's still something. I'm slowly getting through the house.
I also change what room I do daily, then I don't feel as bogged down or overwhelmed.

I'm fine at decluttering my own stuff. It's the things belonging to everyone else in the house or that is jointly owned which is the big problem. DP rarely buys things, but once he has bought them, they are here for ever.

squeekums yes. That’s good and what I need to do. My place is actually quite sorted but all cupboards etc and under bed etc are bursting with ‘stuff’. Everything needs sorting out. Yes I’ll start small and great idea to do different rooms in bits.

I got rid of my dh. That helped! Doesn’t stop the dc gathering crap but at least I can pull rank / shove it in a cupboard in their bedroom!

Only method that worked for me was picking up the clutter, and not looking at it, sweeping it all into a box in the garage. If I hadn’t missed it in a week, it went to the charity shop or tip

@HeronLanyon - I wish I could remember who said it, but something really clicked for me when watching one video - they said that if you put too much sentimental value on an object, you're not allowing the memories to stay. You get so obsessed about a plate that belonged to your nan, for example, that it locks it into your brain. If you just take a photo of it, and let it go, you think more about the person... and anecdotes etc. Spring more readily to mind. Not sure if I explained it well enough, but it's really worked for me. I was so obsessed with my dad's jumper, I always thought of it when I thought of him.

I took a small square of it for a memory quilt, and now rely on memories more!

Meanwhile, OP, try thinking "I'm not allowed to do more than 10 minutes". Seriously, do lots or a little, but stop when the bell goes. You'll gradually get less overwhelmed, as your brain understands that it's not all or nothing.

We had to move out for renovation work so loads of stuff ended up in charity shops or the tip. There were some things the children were not sure of so I boxed them up and took them with us. In the 6 months we were in a rented property that box was left untouched so off it went to the charity shop. I didn't reopen it to check what was in there just dropped it off.