Men breastfeeding?

[Orangeblossom78]

To find this a bit grim?

"The preliminary research suggested that men often drink before the child is fed, usually once a day, sometimes more frequently, and for about an hour at a time.

The men said they found it energising. “It sustains me, I come home for lunch and it relieves stress in the middle of the working day,” said Thomas*."

The men also said it was a way of initiating sex and showing affection. “But then it is happening to women who have just given birth,” he added.

"One man told the researchers: “When breastfeeding, I feel like I’m being looked after like a child, and this becomes addictive. I feel like a prince.”

Women did not seem to have much choice in the matter. “It appears to be a hugely coerced behaviour from the people we spoke to,” added Merritt."

www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/jan/28/she-cant-say-no-the-men-who-take-breast-milk-from-babies

I know in Mongolian culture extended breastfeeding is the norm and expressed breastmilk will be offered to other adults in the family, but this seem so horribly coercive.

I’m not suggesting that the treatment of women in this is okay, but I don’t agree that human breast milk is disgusting. Society has normalised drinking the breast milk of other species, that to me is disgusting.

It's not so much gross...but it is wtf? Literally babying their husbands.

🤮

I don’t agree that human breast milk is disgusting

Has anyone said that? It’s the taking of breast milk meant for a baby that’s disgusting, not the milk itself.

My concern would be that breast milk generally is formulated for the baby's needs. I know twin parents can and do successfully breast feed so one infant feeding wouldn't necessarily mess up the 'formula' of breast milk for the other infant, assuming you're not tandem feeding. My concerns are twofold. 1. The baby going second may miss out on valuable nutrition if the adult has had the prime milk produced. And 2. the women who do not wish to partake in this practice, or wish to stop, being forced to continue. It's not so much the actual partaking of breast milk but the way in which it is being done. I guess if done properly it is little different to having a newborn and a much older child feeding from their mother still.

Fucking hell.

Those poor women. This is beyond sick. In fact, I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain just how this makes me feel!

And it’s nothing to do with breastmilk being “disgusting”, and there are no parallels with humans drinking cows’ milk. I don’t think as many people would have issue with an adult having a swig or expressed milk 🤷🏻‍♀️

But bitten and sore nipples because a man has been “suckling”?! Just. Fucking hell.

“If a woman says no then it can cause violence” fuck off. I think it’s the man who causes the violence.
Poor poor women and babies.

And having to give the baby formula because the man has had the majority of the milk?! So, so very wrong.

I really thought this thread was for a contraption like Robert De Niro wears in Meet the fockers, but wow when you think you have heard it all, how grim.

I’m all for breastmilk being beneficially for all humans, for example: my husband got a sty in his eye, and dabbed some of my expressed milk on it and it had cleared up the next day. And if I’ve got milk in the freezer that’s close to being 6 months old, and will go to waste, I’ve made ice cream for my older DCs.
But this is just horrendous These men are willingly taking away from their own babies and putting both mother and baby’s health at risk
And as for “if she says no it can cause violence” ?! Fuck all the way off with that. I have way too many feelings about this whole thing, I fear it would take me all night to voice them all

I can’t believe that 7% of posters here think that this is ok!
Again the wants of men trump the needs of children and the dignity of women

Horrendous - these poor women and their babies. I never fail to be surprised by the depravity of some men.

For the love of God!!!

@wheresthehope

I guess sadly it’s a different world n those places

Very true - it's like the South African men who believe raping babies will cure their Aids FFS

I read this earlier and it takes a lot to shock me

I am totally disgusted

How fcking dare they

Poor females in agony afterbirth

I can't believe these men think it's ok to take the milk away from their own babies

Can the 6% of YABU voters explain their reasons for voting that way?

EW

I think I might be sick now

@Lockheart

There are indeed lots of societal and gender-based issues here but in and of itself I don't see why it's disgusting.

Erm... did we read the same thing? I see lots of disgusting angles to this.

"Jane said her husband started asking for her milk the night she came home from the hospital after giving birth." perhaps Jane was knackered and didn't want a grown man swigging from her (probably sore/tender) nipples!

"It is now being linked to gender violence and coercive behaviour and there are concerns over the impact on babies’ nutrition."

"The preliminary research suggested that men often drink before the child is fed, usually once a day, sometimes more frequently, and for about an hour at a time." Men prioritising themselves over their baby's health and nutrition. Also, breastfeeding is exhausting at the best of times, let alone if you have to do it for an extra HOUR a day for a grown man who doesn't need it! If you have a newborn and your partner pops home for an hour at lunch, wouldn't you rather he watch the baby and you get some kip for that time?!

"The men also said it was a way of initiating sex and showing affection." Why sexualise something that should be a bonding thing for mother and baby?

"Women did not seem to have much choice in the matter." How can you not find this disgusting?

"Health professionals, including midwives and nutritionists, told researchers about cases where babies had to be given formula milk because partners wanted the breast milk, and where women came to clinic with infected or bitten nipples caused by a man suckling. There are also risks to babies of cross-infection from the man’s saliva."

🤢

Those poor women.

@Daftodil given you only quoted half of my post I assume you didn't read the rest. I was speaking solely about drinking human breast milk, which is what I am saying is not disgusting, not the actions of the men involved.

to minister Sarah Opendi and Dr Rowena Merritt for starting such incredibly important research.

This is raw patriarchy. Dominating and coercing women at their most vulnerable, and dominating and depriving their own offspring.

I'm not sure I can even comprehend this. My husband treated my boobs the way a breastfeeding mothers boobs should be treated - as food for our baby. He bought me snacks whilst I fed and ignored them completely during sex because I couldn't stand them being touched.

This is harrowing. Those poor women and babies. It's just all about the men still isn't it.