About DD's school lunch?

[VinceNoirsHair]

Just interested in others's opinions and what they would do in these circumstances.

My daughter is 12 and a vegetarian. For context, nobody else in the family is but DD feels very strongly about about animals and any kind of mistreatment of them and has been vegetarian for the last year.

Apparently at lunch today at school, she's asked for a vegetarian wrap and they've given her one containing pork instead. She hasn't realised until she's taken a bit out of it and discovered it contained meat. She went back to the snack bar and they gave her the vegetarian one which she didn't have to pay for but she then said one of the dinner ladies told her colleague and they laughed about it.

So my dilemma is this. I understand it was a mistake. I'm not that parent who goes marching into school at every perceived slight and neither will I be doing my best 'sad face' for the Daily Mail. But she's really upset about it and it's pissed me off a bit that the dinner ladies were laughing about it. Should I complain to the school or not?

I'm a vegetarian and this would upset me, but I'm not sure if there's really much you can do. There's little point in you saying anything as they'll deny it. In an ideal world, your daughter would have challenged them at the time, but I don't know many 10 year olds who would be confident enough to do this in the right way, without being rude or getting upset. I'd probably talk to her about what she could have said to help her build her confidence to speak up if she faces a similar situation in the future.

My mum has a pork allergy and would have spent the day throwing up. It’s also awful example, making fun of someone and they’re the adults here. My parents were ‘those parents’ when I broke my wrist, requiring immediate operating, and the dinner lady gave me a wet paper towel, told me to shut up making so much fuss and it would be fine. Thank for another member of staff suggested calling mum to pick me up as I was in hysterics intermittently. Funnily enough all accidents were handled properly after that...

My Dd is veggie (her choice) dinner options were pepperoni pizza or margarita. By her time the margaritas had run out so they gave her a pepperoni and told her to pick the pepperoni off! So she didn't eat!

Quite often they have no veggie option at all, just meat or fish, she takes pack ups now.

I'd be pissed off about the laughing.

If you were my sister you should storm up to the school, demand to see the Head, and shout at the Head about how the dinner ladies tried to poison your DC. You should then go around telling everyone that the school tried to poison your child. This actually happened when the same happened to my niece.

@OneHanded There are usually strict measures in place for those children with an allergy. Schools generally are very aware of this.

Pointless imo as the lunchtime supervisor will just deny it, and you'll inevitably end up being labelled as that mom. Also, your DD may have to deal with the fallout. Teach your DD how to deal with this - it happens all over - work, siblings, friends..... just shrug it off OP and teach DD to do the same.

If they were laughing about this then that is bad. Respect to your daughter.

@VioletCharlotte she's 12 so at secondary school. I agree though - she would just deny it.

They should have been deeply apologetic to her. Just because she's a child it doesn't make her beliefs any less or her feelings any less hurt! I would complain but make sure to let them know it would have been enough for a proper apology given at the time.

I don't know many 10 year olds who would be confident enough to do this in the right way, without being rude or getting upset

Nor many adults

mumwon has suggested a very good response. I would use that. As pp have said, it's potentially very serious and they're doing a crap job if they dismiss that. And I also don't care about being 'that mum'. Why would I ever care more about what some virtual strangers think of me than about my child being unkindly treated?

I think DD did exactly the right by getting it resolved immediately. If you want to complain about her being given the wrong wrap I would do so. Clearly this would have been worse if the wrong sandwich had been given to someone who doesn't eat pork for religious reasons or someone with an allergy. I would ask them when steps they have to avoid the wrong wrap being given.

The laughing I would not mention. It may have been embarassed laughter or just a complete coincidence that they laughed at that point. I think it also distracts from your main complaint about the wrong wrap.

I've been a vegetarian since I was 9 (very much my own decision), and I remember being laughed at by adults. Usually because they assumed it was a phase. Based on my own experience I do think that the dinner ladies probably laughed tbh. I haven't encountered that since being an adult. I think that it's just a fact of being a young person with strong convictions and it will pass.

The bigger issue here is that it speaks to quite poor quality control/diligence. I'd be concerned that they could potentially make the same mistake with an allergy sufferer with more serious consequences.