To want to hack my own anus off? (Piles.... TMI)

[Knobblybobbly]

Name changed for this to something more apt.

After the birth of my DD (5) I’ve had what I would call very mild piles ever since.

But recently had a miscarriage (at 11 weeks) and for some reason they have been terrible ever since. I am in virtual agony with them. Anusol is doing chuff all.

I’ve searched loads of threads on here and time and time again Scheriproct ointment comes up. I decided to buy some from online pharmacy.

Did the purchase, all good, on the actual site the photo of the product was a tube of ointment.

In my confirmation email it says it’s 12 suppositories!!!

Will they still work????

Off for a warm bath to ease the pain in MY ACTUAL ASS

I had a thrombosed pile. It needed cutting to get the blood clot out. I let them inject an anesthetic right into it and screamed in A&E. It was worth it for the relief afterwards. Is this what's happening to you? It really was severe pain every time I pooped (which was around 25 times a day as it was diarrhea which was the last straw).

@73kittycat73

I buy it on Amazon. It's called SATU Toilet Tissue Paper Gel.

There are probably others. It's not cheap but it seems to last a long time.

Thank you @VanGoghsDog will check that out.

Make sure you see your gp. I've had mine
banded and had haemorrhoidectomy. Gp can prescribe things not available over the counter. I've also had fissures too, which cleared up with cream.

Get one of those long ice pops, wrap in a handkerchief/similar and put it on the painful bit, along your undercarriage, as it were.

Forgot to say that I also take a sachet of movicol daily to avoid constipation. I have a fibre rich vegetarian diet, but still need movicol. And I use a poo stool (have a washing up bowl that I keep for this purpose and use it overturned.)

I am so thankful for this thread. Sorry you are all suffering but I am too, although lightly compared to some of you. The pain isn't so bad at the moment, it does hurt when I go to the toilet, but one is nearly always poking out, please tell me I can get rid of this, I hate it

I was told i didn’t have piles but a sub something haematoma..missed the something

I had acupuncture for it and not sure if it helped.
The haematoma gradually went..helped on its way I hope with some Spanish pile cream ..however the electric shocks I got in my hand where the acupuncture needle went in took nearly 6 weeks for them to die down

That was so horrendous, I actually think it was worse. It was like being hit with a cattle prod every time I reached out for something and stretched out my fingers...it made me yelp..my dh thought I was constantly scaldiNg myself/ chopping finger off/ bashing head on cupboard door etc
I’m never having acupuncture again

I remember someone posting on here about putting talcum powder on them and they cleared up!

Suppositories are so much better than ointment.

I haven't suffered for a few years but I recall the pain very well. Horrendous.

Hope you get some relief soon💐

Cortisone cream also...

Once they have settled try witch hazel gel for mild flare ups.
It's cooling and really reduces the inflammation. Cheap too. Stings a bit but that wears off after a few mins.

Another one seconding Germaloids - it has some local anaesthetic ingredient in which Anusol doesn’t have.
I literally couldn’t walk and was crying with the pain but hubby bought Germaloids (I was past the point of caring who knew about it 😆) and the pain relief was unbelievable.
One day I’ll work up the courage to go to the doctor about them, but for now it works a treat!

I had mine banded, was good for a few years but I still get attacks sometimes. Shitloads of Anusol, warm baths, icy things between the cheeks, prune juice and bran flakes, fybogel...

Oh Instillagel from the doctors is good

Another vote for witch hazel here, wipe with some on a bit of cotton wool after you have used toilet paper. It is an astringent so it stings like crazy but it really does work.

Ooh @Knobblybobbly, full and complete sympathy. Isn't it always natural bloody childbirth!
Don't laugh.
Pull a sickie
Bowl of ice into which hand has frozen. Scheriproct all over your fingers. Arse up in the air (gravity). Like sprawling off the sofa onto the carpet in front of the telly height, gravity. Try with your frozen fingers, to push them back in. Hold cold, Scheriproct covered fingers in place whilst you distract yourself with Cash in the Attic.

There are Us amongst you, Who Know!!!!!

Haemmorhoid ice packs look good

An ice pack is the only thing that works for me. The creams are shit. Lie on your side with your knees against your chest and leave the ice pack against your piles as long as you possibly can. Then take it off and put the ice pack on again. Keep repeating this. The cold is agony but the relief comes within an hour or so. And they will shrink within a day or two.

Use the ointment and suppository together. It makes it easier to insert them.

@attillathenun Magic bullet is what I need! Thank you! I cannot wait for the things to arrive. If Royal Mail even bloody dare take them to the sorting office because they want a signature (I’ll most likely be at work when they deliver) I will be absolutely livid. My only revenge will be to perform some kind of horrific anal display at the counter to permanently traumatise them.

Mine are massive, though not painful. What can I use to shrink them?

Have read about the operations and can’t face it.

@ScreamingLadySutch

Your description of this technique is very clear. Thank you!! I really never thought I’d consider taking a day off sick to poke my anus with an icy cold finger, but here I am almost constructing the text message to my boss as we speak.

My boss is a young man.

@deste ok perfect thank you.

I’m in bed just lying here feeling it throb. There is no way I can sleep like this. I’m genuinely wondering what I did in a past life to warrant this!!!

I’m off to ice my anus in the kitchen.

That’s appalling, SomewhereInbetween1. The utter bastard.

So I managed to squish an ice cube into the finger of a rubber glove. Tied a knot in it and and placed it between the cheeks of my ass. It’s painful but in a different way, which if nothing else serves as a distraction.

How did my life get here?