Coercive control

[Fairygodmotherplease]

I don't have an aibu, sorry.
I'd like to know how someone can go so long - multiple decades for example - without realising they are being controlled.
And what steps do you take to recover from such a thing?

Oh, Fairy..

You are protecting your kids. Of course you are terrified - who wouldn't be?

Are you saying you are terrified of your husband? Surely then the police should step in? Have you contacted Woman's Aid? - they will have good solid advice for you and I think will be available right now if you want to talk to someone or webchat.

This is a link to their contact page - you can email or webchat or post in the forum.

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

There's also a directory which should bring up local groups:

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

And here's a page specifically relating to children:

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/how-can-i-help-my-children/

I'm right here if you want a handhold. Just take it an hour at a time. You've done this for years, you can hold it together for a little bit longer. Sending you strength and peace.

This organisation specifically helps on legal matters:

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Morning, OP, just checking in to see how you're doing.

How are things OP? Hope you're doing ok. We are thinking about you

Not great, really.
I can't flee, various reasons. Social services haven't offered any actual help. It just seems like they've taken weeks to assign a social worker to say okay - now, what are you doing about it? When they offered so many promises of help in the beginning, so I waited for them to help.
The police haven't contacted me again either.
I guess I need to try for legal aid to apply for orders, however he will know about it whilst living here. Can't see another way though.

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Please give us an update and let us know how you and your children are now.

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