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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this was incredibly rude of DH?!

106 replies

Shellsbellsk · 26/01/2020 01:00

DSis and her new boyfriend have travelled down to stay with DH and I for the weekend. DH knows how much I’ve been looking forward to this as I’m very close to DSis, but she lives far away so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like and it’s also the first time meeting her boyfriend. They arrived late morning and were then all out of the house until late afternoon. Upon arriving home, DH disappeared upstairs without any explanation which I initially thought nothing of. After half an hour or so had gone by, DSis asked where DH had got to. After hunting around upstairs for him I found him tucked up in bed fast asleep. I immediately woke him and asked what on earth he was doing as we had guests. He said he was tired and would come down later, before rolling over back to sleep. I spent the next hour or so feeling very embarrassed and constantly apologising on DH’s behalf. DH eventually breezed down and joined us after around two hours of sleeping, no apology and carried on with the evening as normal.

I have spent the rest of the evening feeling annoyed with DH for his rudeness. For context, we often have DH’s friends and family come to stay and he’s always very enthusiastic about planning what we’ll do during their stay. He’s certainly never slept during any of their visits. On the rare occasion I have one of my own family members or friends to stay, DH shows far less enthusiasm and lacks interest in contributing to any plans. Him popping off upstairs for a sleep during the day whilst they are present strikes me as the ultimate disrespect and lack of effort. AIBU here please? DH thinks I’m overreacting.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 26/01/2020 11:22

The confusion here is this line They arrived late morning and then were all out until late afternoon
It should read They arrived and then we were all out until late afternoon

That changes everything and you're getting mixed responses due to the typo.

LEELULUMPKIN · 26/01/2020 11:23

I couldn't get worked up about this. I often go and get in bed when my own family turn up never mind his.

Spied · 26/01/2020 11:25

I'd not be happy. Very awkward.
I bet the boyfriend felt a bit of a tool.

1300cakes · 26/01/2020 12:49

This wouldn't bother me personally. If I was having my sister over I'd actually prefer DH to make himself scarce for a while, and I'd do the same if it was a friend or family member of his. Surely this is what normally happens. Especially if that person was staying for the weekend, and therefore we had several more hours/meals all together.

But I'd think it was bloody weird if I went to my sisters house, her DP went off for an hour and she spent the whole time apologising. As if I adore her DP that much I just couldn't spend a second without him.

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 26/01/2020 15:19

Yes I think it was rude. It’s the sort of thing my exh would do and it is incredibly embarrassing.

If he’d come in, made initial conversation etc, and then said “look I’m really sorry, I’m very tired because of X (exceptional circumstance), I need to go and have a short nap”, that would have been one thing. The just buggering off without a word is the worst bit!

Changeofname79 · 26/01/2020 23:27

Very rude, I am actually astonished you haven't for 100% YANBU. Unless you are ill no adult needs a nap FFS.

My XH did stuff like this, he would either disappear upstairs or sit in the lounge playing games on his PC in front of guests. He was a twat. He never did stuff like that when it was his friends.

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