To insist 17 year old returns to hairdresser with me to complain

[Dogsaresomucheasier]

I completely understand she feels terrible, but 17 year old cane home from the hairdresser with a really poorly finished haircut. (Uneven, straggly bit hanging below her chin.) She’s still in full time education, I’d paid for the cut. If it had been an apprentice doing it cheaply I’d accept it, but we paid stylist rates. She is “not wanting to make a fuss” I await to go back and insist it’s fixed. I know I’m right! But the “faulty goods” are on my daughter’s head. She’s sobbing at the prospect of going back, can/should I insist? What does Mumsnet think?

Sorry for the typos, came home and I want!

When I was her age I'd have drank the money and had a pal cut my hair. 😉

No, you can’t insist.

I would go back and ask it to be fixed...though saying that i wasn't 100% happy with my last cut sighs but have decided to live with it.

Hmm if she was really embarrassed and didn't want to go I would probably go alone. Take some pics of it to show them. She will very likely have to go back to have it fixed though.

This was this afternoon and she’s not had the opportunity to party the money away, but I understand your suspicion!

To put it frankly you raised a perfectly behaved sop. Fix that first with assertiveness training and then insist on her fighting years of training to be good to demand her rights.

If she doesn’t want to go then that’s her choice. She is 17 so you can’t force her to complain

My mum went back and got my money back for a bad hair procedure once. I was about the same age. I didn’t go with her as I was embarrassed that I’d paid In The first place and that it looked so bad

I totally understand where you're coming from op. What did hairstyle cost? Is it worth potentially damaging even short term the relationship w your daughter? I don't know the answer to my question..... Just some further food for thought

This is a good time to teach her that you need to stand up for yourself - it can be scary, but better than being a fecking doormat. I look at some of the situations people find themselves in on MN and wonder how they came to be so timid they'll let the whole world walk over them all the time. Women in particular.

It was £40 if that makes a difference, and done ahead of a uni interview next week.

I’m more worried about her rocking up to the interview looking a scarecrow than the money in some ways.

I have had to take my DD back before, although she was only 11. It was wonky on one side.

Yabu.

I think you should insist on going back and it's a good learning experience for your DD to become more assertive and to check her hair before she leaves a hairdressers. It's ok to not like it, or ask for a once (twice) over. She's a paying customer!

Your daughter needs to learn how to be assertive before starting university in my opinion. There are unfortunately people who will take advantage of her quiet, not wanting a fuss, nature. It's undoubtedly difficult for her, but reassuring her that it's the right thing to do, and that her hair was cut for an important reason, and you will be with her, rather than shouting at her that "she's going with you" is perhaps a better approach. Most salons I've found, would rather have the opportunity to rectify a mistake straight away, rather than have the negative publicity to their business an unhappy customer would inevitably bring.

Why can't you take photos of her with you instead? Explain you paid, she's curled up in a ball crying and you want the refund (in fairness to the salon though they would probably have agreed to try and amend/fix it...not possible if she is not there or votes with her feet)

Your daughter is crying and begging you not to return. Fgs don’t force her. She’s the one that has to live with the awful haircut. Don’t make the situation worse for her

Well if I were the hairdresser I'd want to see the actual haircut not a photo.

I wouldn’t upset her even more at this point by forcing the issue, no. Can you fix it yourself if its just needing a few straggly bit snipped?
I do agree that she needs to learn to assert herself more though. Any hairdresser I’ve ever been too has shown me all angles in the mirror to check I’m happy and I’ve never been shy to say if there was anything not quite right. That’s why they ask! They want to sort it! They don’t want their clients going home in tears and telling everyone within a 10 mile radius about their shit experience. Maybe a chat with your DD explaining this would be best? Then let her decide if she wants to go back with you to the salon or take on board the lesson for next time.

I doubt they’d refund without seeing the hair in person - if you do take photos in make sure they’re as clear as possible so that the problem is undeniable

There's something ironic in teaching your 17 year old assertiveness by running roughshod over her desires.
She's already miserable, you forcing her to do something which in her mind is humiliating will not help her. It may make you feel better, but it will make her feel a million times worse.

I'm an adult and it took me a week to deal with a hairdresser who didn't do my hair properly. Let her calm down, take photos and get her to email them.

If you are so keen, you take her back. You dont have to be an arse, just “hi hairdresser, Florence had her hair cut on Saturday and we are very disappointed, there’s loads of missed bits, can you go through it again. Or get another stylist to check it”

Easy.

Ah bless. You've obviously raised a better behaved child than I was 😂

Let her settle down, it'll still be rubbish tomorrow but maybe she'll be feeling a little less mortified and a little more assertive after she's slept on it.

Good luck with the Uni interview 🍀

My mum ( and dad ) did this to me many, many years ago. I was about the same age as your DD. I remember being so mortified and it just confirmed my very low opinion of myself.